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Brianruns10
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31 Dec 2012, 5:03 pm

I get email notifications about these in my area from time to time, and I'm considering trying one. But I just don't know. Are they honestly a viable way to meet people, or is it all a scam? And so many things seem scary about it...like what if I go, and there's no one for me, or even worse, no one chooses me when it's all done, and I come away a few bucks poorer, and knowing that even among a group of single women looking, they'd rather not have me?

Has anyone tried this and had success? Or should I avoid?



Stargazer43
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31 Dec 2012, 5:17 pm

I'd imagine they're a nightmare. One first date is enough for me, but cramming 20 in a night? No thank you, sir! I get the impression that they may work if you have a charming or charismatic personality, since they rely on your ability to develop a moderately strong connection with someone in a very short period of time.



BlueMax
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31 Dec 2012, 6:14 pm

That's a lot of social interaction! Some people can't handle that...

Part of me is tempted to go to one just to see if I appeal to anyone! :oops:



Last edited by BlueMax on 31 Dec 2012, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

rahrah
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31 Dec 2012, 6:44 pm

I went to a speed dating event a few years ago. The one I went to took the "getting picked" aspect out of it because when the event was over, it was over. If two people indicated a mutual interest, then they would get contact info later emailed to them. I went with an acquaintance so it was kind of fun in a social experiment sort of way.

As the woman, I got to sit stationary whereas the men rotated to the next table. The "dates" were 7 minutes I think.

The men were all pretty strange. The nicest guy who was normal seeming had had a stroke so I felt like an a*hole for not selecting him. One guy was visibly drunk (sloppy). Another lived on his friend's couch. Bottom line: wouldn't look too hard to be prime pickings I think.

I didn't 'pick' anyone as I recall.

If you go with a friend or acquaintance I think that is the best option because then it's less about finding "the one."


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izzeme
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01 Jan 2013, 5:43 am

i have been thinking about joining some myself too, although they are not readily available around where i live (or way too expencive).
if i were to go, it'd be for the experiment, see how i hold up in such a busy social situation where you are expected to interact with everyone, and it's full of tension; perhaps also get some insights on how to meet women off the street; i would not expect to get 'picked' there and then



BlueMax
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01 Jan 2013, 6:54 am

OTOH, it can be very good practice! 10-20 very different types of people in such a short time can help in "social training"! If one thinks about it with little intent of picking up someone, but just meeting and learning 20 different personalities to try and interact with them... what fails, what doesn't, etc.

[marches into speed dating room:] For science!!



hyperlexian
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01 Jan 2013, 9:00 am

not a bad idea. try to find a speed dating service that has the women going from table to table and the men sitting in place. then men tend to be more highly valued by the women overall; you become the subconscious "selector" and the women feel the have to do the impressing. this offsets some of the default dating position where women make the final decision.

i saw good advice in a book to ask interesting questions, not about vacations and life goals. everyone asks those same questions over and over so people get bored of answering. in studies, better questions are: "if you were a pizza topping which one would you be?" or, "if you had to pick a certain food item to eat every day what would it be?" some people hate those questions, but i take that into account - i wouldn't be attracted to someone who doesn't think like me to some degree. OKCupid integrates some of that directly into the profile (3 things you cannot live without or whatever)!

if you want you can steal ideas from my posts in the in Adult Autism Issues, because i modeled my questions after this same concept. this was the first set:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3597748.html#3597748


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JanuaryMan
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01 Jan 2013, 9:02 am

It's fun but the fact you are obligated to see it through to the end and all the social interaction can be overwhelming and feel like a bomb going off in your face. If you mess up one you will mess up all of them. Do this if you feel you have the confidence, charm and a look about you your dating partners will like. Otherwise, consider traditional dating or e-dating.



nick007
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01 Jan 2013, 4:00 pm

I never done that but I think it might could be a great learning experience if you can accept & can handle the possibility that you will screw up & get rejected. Getting a successful date is all about 1st impressions which most of us here have problems with & if your going to be very nervous about making any mistake at all & then berate yourself for screwing up(I imagine I would) it'll be something you'd regret.


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