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Projectile
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand

04 Jan 2013, 4:18 am

Feeling a bit flustered after someone told me that I bring up my aspergers too much and that i should essentially use mind over matter to overcome it. I told her that I like having aspergers and then she said that i shouldn't use it as an excuse...

share your thoughts..


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Diagnosed: AS / ADHD / OCD


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Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 39
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04 Jan 2013, 4:33 am

Sounds like a pretty dumb woman. Just my impression...

Anyway, this behaviour is normal. People tend to underestimate other people's problems and pains, as long as they don't feel them themselves. And, of course, they tend to think that your problems are easy to solve because, you know, they are so small and insignificant.

"Just use mind over matter, you loser! Stop ruining our comfort with your whining! You are not the center of the Universe!"

(this is based on actual things I have heard said to myself or other people)


This is not an inability to be empathic - it is unwillingness to be empathic. As long as one feels okay, he doesn't feel obliged to care about other people's pains.


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Blue Jay
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04 Jan 2013, 4:41 am

I'm sure you are entitled to show interest in something that is a part of your life. and healthy to openly discuss it so I see nothing wrong with that at all. Mind over matter is an interesting term, I think we have all learned over time to implement this into our daily lives to some degree, and I cannot speak for you but personally I try very hard every day and quite literally often find myself on the edge of my mental functioning. I have nothing left to push a little more, it is the absolute best I can do and being asked to try harder would be a very destructive thing indeed.

As for using it as an excuse, I believe sometimes it can be. I do not understand why it would impact upon them, as admitting to personal limitations is not something that is done just for fun. I have a perspective of only recently being diagnosed, and I remember many times when people would say things like "That's just who he is". I believe it is no different now, we do things simply because that is who we are. To consider our personality as a side effect seems very dehumanizing to me.



Projectile
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 128
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

04 Jan 2013, 5:04 am

"I try very hard every day and quite literally often find myself on the edge of my mental functioning. I have nothing left to push a little more, it is the absolute best I can do and being asked to try harder would be a very destructive thing indeed. "

this is how i feel too.. well put.

people seem to think that i am normal but just not trying very hard when the fact is i am abnormal but putting a lot of work into it..

if you met me you would never know i am Aspie.. i have learned to imitate NT's very convincingly


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Chummy
Veteran
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04 Jan 2013, 5:10 am

Projectile wrote:
Feeling a bit flustered after someone told me that I bring up my aspergers too much and that i should essentially use mind over matter to overcome it. I told her that I like having aspergers and then she said that i shouldn't use it as an excuse...

share your thoughts..


Think of your AS like this: If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.