Is it easier to be an Aspie man than an Aspie female?

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Generally speaking, Aspie men have it easier in some areas, while Aspie women have it eaiser in other areas. It's that simple.

Yes, I would certainly think in some ways it would be easier to be an Aspie male...

These sorts of topics spring up all the time and usually end up getting locked, because neither genders think they have it harder. Personally I think Aspie women have it harder. I even hear NT women say that men have it easier in life. But Aspie men seem to just harp on about how much relationships, when relationships aren't always the point. These sorts of topics mean more about everyday things in a gender role, like how you perform and your appearance when you just go out. The majority of women wear make-up and so some get caught in the obligation, where as men don't have to worry about that at all and still look handsome. Also men can choose whether they want facial and body hair or not, in other words it is socially acceptable for a man to have a beard or to not have a beard. It is not socially acceptable for a woman to have body hair like hairy legs or hairy armpits, even if we wanted to, we will get ridiculed. Also I have seen more women with shaped eyebrows, which gives me the impression that one of the social rules are women must pluck their eyebrows or else. I hate plucking eyebrows, it's a pain in the arse and why should men get away with yet another thing?

Also women have to have periods too, which I don't get too angry about, because it's nature, not some ret*d rule made by society. Yes, there is the pill, but even so, men don't have to worry about anything like that at all. Also they don't have to get pregnant. Sex can harm a woman more, and also having a baby can harm a woman too.

Each individual has their own challenges, and they depend on a variety of personal traits and social circumstances. Gender is just one of those traits.

The people who claim that it is easier for a woman with Aspergers to get a relationship seem to confuse a relationship with sex.
It is probably easier for a woman to get sex, and even to get a man (boyfriend) who is hoping to get sex. But a relationship is a whole different thing.
There are many men who pray on socially naive or insecure women but whop are only interested in her for sex and not for who she is. And then there are men who do get into a relationship but as soon as they find out that their new girl is 'weird' they dump her. There are very few men willing to put up with a woman who exhibits traits of autism.

And about succesful aspie men who could 'easily' get a woman who would fix or mother them.... I reckon they'd be better of remaining single! I mean, how would this slightly scary sounding woman 'fix' the poor mite? That just can't be good....

This, yes! It's the story of my youth!

I think we all just have a hard time and claiming the other gender has it easier is probably just a case of "grass looks greener on the other side of the fence."

Men are pressured to be strong, aggressive, and to be the initiators. Women are pressured to be attractive and to be more socially and emotionally adept. ALL of this is troublesome.

Ok, that does it. where do all you aspie women hang out at. alot of you apsie women seem to have no trouble finding men who want to have sex with you. are you ladies just very attractive? do you ladies hang around in bars and single clubs?
most aspie women I know of don't really come across as a ''party girl, who want to bang all the guys here type''.
I believe the majority of aspie women want to have a good stable relationship with a man but yet somehow they tend to get pick up
by guys who just want to have sex with them.

maybe I am wrong about this: but I always thought aspie women don't really like to socialize much, and they don't like the club scene,or bars.
but perhaps I am wrong about that
and second I always I though alot aspie women don't feel comfertable when men approach them (creepy guys) I hear all the time here and else where, so if they don't enjoy men approaching them, how do so many aspie women end up sleeping with so many men?

I just don't get it how: how a person can be so anti social, don't like men who approach them, but yet somehow have sex more times in one month, then the average nt man does in one year who goes out and does social things.

I can only speak for myself, but this is how it went when I was younger and trying to dip into the "people pool" more often.

I did stay in my house the vast majority of the time (aside from school), but I had a high sex drive and could get attracted to others pretty easily. In adolescence, I went through spurts of putting down the books and video games to go out and try to do this thing. The city I lived in had a rather large misfit street scene, so I didn't stand out as that weird and I would use alcohol to dull my senses and relax my nerves enough to mingle about. I'm not gorgeous, but I'm not bad looking either and misfit teenage boys didn't mind much if my conversational skills were limited to monologues about whatever political issue I was interested in at the time, at least in the short term. They wanted sex and I knew this. I was fine with that, I wanted sex too, so I don't consider myself "taken advantage of" as people tend to view sexually active teenage girls. I was horny, read a lot of porn, and am more comfortable having sex than a face to face conversation. It's a stereotype that women only want relationships and no casual sex.

Sometimes I did want more, like most people would if they really do like someone. That's when it would go bad, especially when I got a bit older and was mixing with older guys who are more serious minded and wanted a girlfriend they felt they could "connect" with. I wasn't good at that part and both guys and girls have dumped me for being socially ret*d, spazzed out and weird.

So, yes. I was able to do this thing for a while, but it wasn't healthy in the long run because it required alcohol to be able to deal with being in conversations and social groups.

well, you sound like a ''party girl'' you want to go out and have sex. the thing is there are alot of women who are not your so called party girl type but do want to have a long term relationship but always end up sleeping with random guys who use them for sex.


I know there are the ''fun,good looking out going aspie women'' who go to the clubs and hope they get to bang 25 guys in 2 weeks.
I understand how them aspie women can get laid. the main women I've always want to know of are the one's who never or very rarely do any social thing, have no or very little female friends, does not like when men approach them, always talk about how depress they are, how suicidal they are, and yet somehow these same women will claim they are sleeping with all these men,, I mean how is that even possible, they don't get out much, they don't like men talking to them, so how do these women end up sleeping with 5 guys in one month. it makes no sense.
unless they are prositute, they only thing I can think of or they are just making it up.

I don't know any women like that or many women at all, so don't have a helpful answer to those questions. Do you have any in particular in mind? Maybe they are school age and guys hit on them in school. School kind of forces you to be around everyone.

Short answer: no.

Nope. Try again.

I think if Sheldon was a girl, the show would still be entertaining.

However, in life, I do think that being an Aspie man is easier... I noticed that when men do certain things, they get by, but if I attempt the same, I am confronted and called abnormal and asked to get my actions together.
And I am especially considered weird for my non-girly clothes, no make-up, no hairstyles... I hate doing girly things... I always choose to be among men and not women... I am expected to clean, cook, have children... OMG, being a man is easy. You don't need to care about your appearance, you just get a wife, go to work and the rest will be taken care of by the wife... She will cook, clean, lay out the clothes for you, bear kids, then take care of them... I want to be a man and get an NT wife!

That is true too...

I don't see how anyone can make such a determination, or why it would matter. Life is experienced individually, not collectively as an entire gender. Each person is different and is confronted with a different sequence of situations. Even the same or similar situations are experienced differently. There is no way to say who has it easier.

One: not every (aspie) woman is the same.
Two: You don't have to go to bars and clubs to meet men. Aspie women tend to start out as aspie girls who go to school, where they meet boys.
Unfortunately, there were also boys, as well as mature men who would try to do things with me at for instance obligatory parties from family or acquaintances of my parents. That was horrible.
I later also met boys and men at Uni. When I was in my twenties I met a girl who is now still my friend, who was in the squatter's scene, so I also started to hang out in the squatters scene. That was nice, because almost everybody else was also a social misfit! I went to gigs.
There are also men outside who will follow you.
Three: I did go out. I didn't like it, but I was well-trained in doing things that I don't like in order to seem socially acceptable.
Four: In my case, I did not sleep with many men. But I could have, if I had wanted to, because there were enough of them trying to lure me. I had to defend myself with a screwdriver once, and with a metal chain another time, and run and hide multiple times. But indeed, I don't like it when men approach me. You are right there!
Five: At about 28 I stopped going out and indeed didn't meet any men anymore. after 8 years I felt I wanted a relationship and I went to a dating site. That worked out quite well.

^^

Yeah, I was mostly hanging out in the squatters/street misfit scene too for all this. Not bars and clubs and Kool Kids Keggers. I was too young to go into bars anyway. Even if I weren't, I'd prefer hanging out on rooftops, alleyways, and beaches if I'm to go outside with others.

You've made some pretty broad generalizations there, and they're not accurate. I do like my clothes to be comfortable, but I fear "practical" isn't on my list. I love flowy, flirty, pretty clothes. I find what most people call "practical" downright boring. I think one of the perks of being a woman is the wide variety of styles available to us. I like to look extremely feminine and gothy. Furthermore, not all of us "avoid" the use of cosmetics. I never go out to a party or gathering without some makeup, just because it's so much fun! I wear lipstick and eyeliner almost every day, and add other cosmetics as I feel like it. I'm have decent features, but my eyes are by far the best, and makeup helps them stand out. Emphasizing my good features, through clothing and makeup, makes me feel pretty. I'm not "obsessed" with my appearance -- really, at 36, I'm used to it, it's just not that interesting. I try not dismiss other women's interest in their appearance as "obnoxious and bewildering," though, because I'm pretty sure they find my obsessions (special interests) "obnoxious and boring," too!



This one is true of me, can't speak for other Aspie women. I do have some close female friends, but the majority of my friends are male and I share stereotypically male interests. While I have been told I'm "a guy in a skirt" or "one of the guys," no one has ever called me a tomboy! I'm much more of the bookworm type, if we're going with labels. The only outdoor activity I ever enjoyed was climbing trees. I hated playing sports, and I'm terribly uncoordinated anyway. The things I share with my male friends are more along the lines of video games, football, action/bromance movies, roleplaying games, hot girls, etc. Of course, most of my female friends are into that stuff, too (except for the hot girls...I'm the only bi girl). I know many, many NT females who would say the same -- that they get along better with guys, that they like "guy stuff," that they find other women perplexing. I don't think that's an exclusively Aspie thing, and I'm sure there are Aspie women out there who have stereotypically female interests, as well.




The world is easier for men, Aspie or NT, it doesn't matter. We live in a patriarchal society. Women are valued for being pretty, well-behaved, demure, and soft-spoken. Men are valued for being smart, strong, ambitious, and assertive. If you happen to be a smart, strong, ambitious, assertive woman, you're called a b***h. (Or dismissed as being "too much like a man," which has happened to me pretty often.) I don't fit the cultural profile for a "good girl." I have too many opinions I'm willing to share, I'm passionate about them, and I'm not willing to back down when people try to silence me. No one ever achieved greatness by being well-behaved!

Nonetheless, I love being a woman. Although I test as "gender neutral" or "androgynous" on all those tests that are supposed to tell you what gender your brain is, I think being a man would limit me in ways I'd hate. No dresses, for example. (I have a friend who wears a kilt when not at work; he says it is way more comfortable than pants and I agree.) Men don't wear makeup, or at least not as much...and they get ridiculed for wearing it. (My goth guy friends got hell for wearing eyeliner in high school.) I think being female gives me room to be creative and indulge in flights of fancy. In addition, some of the things I love are considered "female" things -- teaching, for example, and being a stay-at-home wife. Far fewer men teach, and while the number of stay-at-home husbands/dads is going up, nurturing children is still considered a "woman's role." I like the fact that bisexuality is more accepted and acceptable among women (I mean real bisexuality, not kissing your bff to turn a guy on)...one of my good friends is a male bisexual, and he says the only person he can really relax about that with is me. (At my last birthday, he joked about getting me a stripper, but being unable to find a guy hot enough. I said, "Why's it got to be a guy?" and he said, "Good point...what you and I need is a sexy couple who strip together!")

The world is set up to favor guys, but being a woman has it's good points. I'm happy the way I am.