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chamthabo
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08 Jan 2013, 12:10 am

Hello everyone. This is my first post. I am sorry for my bad English skill (I am Thai). I spent a lot of effort for this post, but I want to share my story and need some advice.

Three years ago, at age 17, I was diagnosed to be ASD after “a big crime” I made that time. When I knew what is ASD, I only understood that it made me cannot socialize with oher easily but didn’t understand how it made. I have been trying very hard to become normal person. However I recently truly understand what my doctor said and it seems that I finally found my major problems. I feel relief for many days, but after that I found I have a hard time to manage with my problem.
Apart from general characteristic of ASD, I found I feel many facial emotions differently from most people. The most worrying one is that when somebody get serious, angry, annoyed, depress or many other negative emotions, they express their emotion thought their faces. I can understand what negative emotion they are in, but I feel happy with unknown reason. I start to talk with them with my good mood or even joke even if they don't answer me. I know I should do something to make them feel better or don't mess with them, but I cannot suppress my happiness. When anybody need help I also feel I don't need to help them. I feel like they are ok even if I know they are in trouble. This makes me being backbited that I was selfish, arrogant, black-hearted. Every time my mother gets sad, I feel very pain in my heart that I can only soothe her with only my fake worry. It seem like I have something wrong about emotion perception. Whenever I think about this problem I feel very depressed.

I also thing I am odd aspie. I like the situation I am in a large crowd of people, but they must not be teenagers and must be anybody who don't know me and won't talk with me.

Do you have the same problem as mine? What do you think I should do with this problem?



Dreycrux
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08 Jan 2013, 1:06 am

chamthabo wrote:
Hello everyone. This is my first post. I am sorry for my bad English skill (I am Thai). I spent a lot of effort for this post, but I want to share my story and need some advice.

Three years ago, at age 17, I was diagnosed to be ASD after “a big crime” I made that time. When I knew what is ASD, I only understood that it made me cannot socialize with oher easily but didn’t understand how it made. I have been trying very hard to become normal person. However I recently truly understand what my doctor said and it seems that I finally found my major problems. I feel relief for many days, but after that I found I have a hard time to manage with my problem.
Apart from general characteristic of ASD, I found I feel many facial emotions differently from most people. The most worrying one is that when somebody get serious, angry, annoyed, depress or many other negative emotions, they express their emotion thought their faces. I can understand what negative emotion they are in, but I feel happy with unknown reason. I start to talk with them with my good mood or even joke even if they don't answer me. I know I should do something to make them feel better or don't mess with them, but I cannot suppress my happiness. When anybody need help I also feel I don't need to help them. I feel like they are ok even if I know they are in trouble. This makes me being backbited that I was selfish, arrogant, black-hearted. Every time my mother gets sad, I feel very pain in my heart that I can only soothe her with only my fake worry. It seem like I have something wrong about emotion perception. Whenever I think about this problem I feel very depressed.

I also thing I am odd aspie. I like the situation I am in a large crowd of people, but they must not be teenagers and must be anybody who don't know me and won't talk with me.

Do you have the same problem as mine? What do you think I should do with this problem?


Exactly the same issues my friend, When someone looks angry / depressed....I would go on and on asking what's wrong? why do you feel that way? and they usually tell me to just forget it or that "I don't understand" or "Can't handle it". like with my family I often don't use the correct emotions or express them at all which hurts them. for example I will be in a happy curious mood when they are angry at me. They get annoyed by my constant questioning and my puzzled look when I do try to figure out what is wrong with them. Their issue usually never involves me either.



chamthabo
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Joined: 6 Jan 2013
Age: 26
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08 Jan 2013, 1:57 am

Dreycrux wrote:
chamthabo wrote:
Hello everyone. This is my first post. I am sorry for my bad English skill (I am Thai). I spent a lot of effort for this post, but I want to share my story and need some advice.

Three years ago, at age 17, I was diagnosed to be ASD after “a big crime” I made that time. When I knew what is ASD, I only understood that it made me cannot socialize with oher easily but didn’t understand how it made. I have been trying very hard to become normal person. However I recently truly understand what my doctor said and it seems that I finally found my major problems. I feel relief for many days, but after that I found I have a hard time to manage with my problem.
Apart from general characteristic of ASD, I found I feel many facial emotions differently from most people. The most worrying one is that when somebody get serious, angry, annoyed, depress or many other negative emotions, they express their emotion thought their faces. I can understand what negative emotion they are in, but I feel happy with unknown reason. I start to talk with them with my good mood or even joke even if they don't answer me. I know I should do something to make them feel better or don't mess with them, but I cannot suppress my happiness. When anybody need help I also feel I don't need to help them. I feel like they are ok even if I know they are in trouble. This makes me being backbited that I was selfish, arrogant, black-hearted. Every time my mother gets sad, I feel very pain in my heart that I can only soothe her with only my fake worry. It seem like I have something wrong about emotion perception. Whenever I think about this problem I feel very depressed.

I also thing I am odd aspie. I like the situation I am in a large crowd of people, but they must not be teenagers and must be anybody who don't know me and won't talk with me.

Do you have the same problem as mine? What do you think I should do with this problem?


Exactly the same issues my friend, When someone looks angry / depressed....I would go on and on asking what's wrong? why do you feel that way? and they usually tell me to just forget it or that "I don't understand" or "Can't handle it". like with my family I often don't use the correct emotions or express them at all which hurts them. for example I will be in a happy curious mood when they are angry at me. They get annoyed by my constant questioning and my puzzled look when I do try to figure out what is wrong with them. Their issue usually never involves me either.


I feel very happy that I was not the only one who encounter this problem. It looks like your post is a rewrite version of my post. I cannot find appropriate word in English to describe my problem (such as "happy curious mood"). Thank you for that! How do you deal with it? For me, I always pretend to do what I think most people will do, but it's seem I can't stay pretending all the time. When I had pretended to be normal for too long time, I felt I am not myself and had no true feeling. Sometime, I force myself to be depressed by thinking about this problem and it'seem I have more appropriate emotion and conversation with them, but it is still not my true feeling.



Dreycrux
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08 Jan 2013, 2:19 am

chamthabo wrote:
Dreycrux wrote:
chamthabo wrote:
Hello everyone. This is my first post. I am sorry for my bad English skill (I am Thai). I spent a lot of effort for this post, but I want to share my story and need some advice.

Three years ago, at age 17, I was diagnosed to be ASD after “a big crime” I made that time. When I knew what is ASD, I only understood that it made me cannot socialize with oher easily but didn’t understand how it made. I have been trying very hard to become normal person. However I recently truly understand what my doctor said and it seems that I finally found my major problems. I feel relief for many days, but after that I found I have a hard time to manage with my problem.
Apart from general characteristic of ASD, I found I feel many facial emotions differently from most people. The most worrying one is that when somebody get serious, angry, annoyed, depress or many other negative emotions, they express their emotion thought their faces. I can understand what negative emotion they are in, but I feel happy with unknown reason. I start to talk with them with my good mood or even joke even if they don't answer me. I know I should do something to make them feel better or don't mess with them, but I cannot suppress my happiness. When anybody need help I also feel I don't need to help them. I feel like they are ok even if I know they are in trouble. This makes me being backbited that I was selfish, arrogant, black-hearted. Every time my mother gets sad, I feel very pain in my heart that I can only soothe her with only my fake worry. It seem like I have something wrong about emotion perception. Whenever I think about this problem I feel very depressed.

I also thing I am odd aspie. I like the situation I am in a large crowd of people, but they must not be teenagers and must be anybody who don't know me and won't talk with me.

Do you have the same problem as mine? What do you think I should do with this problem?


Exactly the same issues my friend, When someone looks angry / depressed....I would go on and on asking what's wrong? why do you feel that way? and they usually tell me to just forget it or that "I don't understand" or "Can't handle it". like with my family I often don't use the correct emotions or express them at all which hurts them. for example I will be in a happy curious mood when they are angry at me. They get annoyed by my constant questioning and my puzzled look when I do try to figure out what is wrong with them. Their issue usually never involves me either.


I feel very happy that I was not the only one who encounter this problem. It looks like your post is a rewrite version of my post. I cannot find appropriate word in English to describe my problem (such as "happy curious mood"). Thank you for that! How do you deal with it? For me, I always pretend to do what I think most people will do, but it's seem I can't stay pretending all the time. When I had pretended to be normal for too long time, I felt I am not myself and had no true feeling. Sometime, I force myself to be depressed by thinking about this problem and it'seem I have more appropriate emotion and conversation with them, but it is still not my true feeling.


Gah! your in my head dude! hehe, yes exactly this. I feel cheap like I sold myself out when I fake emotion, interest or empathy so most emotional situations I am involved just stay awkward and confusing as ever. For example I was racing my car around the block at night "Testing" the new water pump I installed and about the 5th lap someone put some 2x4 pecies of wood in the road...I came back around to see why there was wood there and saw people standing at the side of the road with baseball bats....so instead of driving away like any sane person I stopped and got out 8O and asked them what was wrong :o somehow in my honesty and naivety I diffused the situation and then slowly drove away.

It's kind of dangerous being autistic...that's why I stay inside.



Last edited by Dreycrux on 08 Jan 2013, 6:21 am, edited 2 times in total.

Magnanimous
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08 Jan 2013, 2:59 am

... I only like being around miserable people. Happy people make me nauseous.
I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with wishing pain upon them, but I just feel more comfortable when those around me are suffering.
I don't tend to express anything either way.