I am the only person I know like this in real life

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I want to see if anyone else here is like this. I have full blown, legit aspergers syndrome, I was diagnosed when I was five, I have the obsessive interests and everything BUT I have managed to develop my skills and charisma, empathy, emotional intelligence, body language, vocal tonality, eye contact, facial expressions etc to an extremely high level. Such a high level in fact that my social competence far outstrips that of most nuerotypicals. I have accomplished this over the course of the last 15 months.

examples of social competence that transcends that of average neurotypicals:

-Attracting women, I have had sex with three different girls in the last two months. I read somewhere that the average neurotypical man only manages to obtain seven sexual partners in a lifetime

-walking up to attractive women in nightclubs and making out with them within a few seconds of meeting with little to no verbal communication between us. I have kissed 22 hot girls in the last year.

-Making pretty much everybody roar with laughter at my jokes and anecdotes at social gatherings, generally being the center of attention.

-Endearing myself to people extremely quickly and effectively. I have a decently sized group of friends who share my obsessive interest with getting good with girls and mastering charisma and psychology. We meet up regularly and have awesome adventures in town.

-I am extremely confident in high pressure social situations such as approaching women in clubs and public speaking, most nuerotypicals find these tasks intimidating, I have learned to overcome this fear. Most neurotypicals drink to become uninhibited and enjoy more intimate or sexual social interaction, I am able to achieve a similar loosened up, extroverted state while completely sober.

I strongly believe that Aspies are capable of incredible feats of social competence and charisma when we direct our obsessive devotion and high intelligence to tackling the problem of social interaction. I have yet to see another aspie who has managed to do what I've done in real life though, I'm now seeing if I can find any online, I know I can't be the only Aspie who dominates the social sphere in this manor. So, I ask, has anybody else on here managed to cure their own social awkwardness, master charisma, get lots of hot girls, get great friends or any of those other achievements typical of the socially advanced? Even if I don't find anyone else who is like me I hope I can at least inspire other aspies to follow my example and master social skills.

Can I ask you a few questions?

1. How old are you?

2. Who diagnosed you and what specifically prompted your parents to seek a diagnosis?

3. Can you post a photo of yourself?

4. Are you currently in a relationship and how long has your longest relationship been?

5. Describe what your schooldays were like

6. Are you in America and if so whereabouts?

@Tarzan: Is your girlfriend's name Jane and did you Cheeta? Are you a swinger?

(Only teasing )

1.21, I started actively improving my social skills in october last year at age 20

2.I can't remember the doctors name. My parents diagnosed me because I was weird, couldn't follow instructions, had odd language use, would walk up to other children and stare straight into their eyes while poking at their face and other innapropriate behaviour... just general aspie weirdness

3.No, It shouldn't matter, looks are irrelevant to social success or success with women despite what society tells you

4. I don't engage in monogamy. I am seeing two women regularly for sex, I guess you could say I have multiple open relationships. As well as having sex with these two women I also regularly go to bars and clubs to hit on more women, this often leads to first and second base sexual encounters. The two women I mentioned know about this and about each other. While I refuse to limit myself to one woman I never lead women to believe that I'm interested in a committed relationship because I'm not. I didn't start acquiring sexual relationships until three months ago so not long...

5. I had a small group of close friends at school. I was teased a little at first but never really bullied. I've had people be dicks to me before but nothing major. I would get along fairly well with people, people just thought I was eccentric and interesting, no girls were ever attracted to me though.

6.No I live in Auckland, New Zealand

1. So you're 21 now?

2. "would walk up to other children and stare straight into their eyes while poking at their face and other innapropriate behaviour... just general aspie weirdness"

I would not class this as typical asperger/ASD behaviour at all, for the very fact of you staring into these peoples' eyes
I'd say it's more like anti-social behaviour than 'general aspie weirdness'

3. Oh yes it does matter - looks are very important so let's see a photo please.

4. Promiscuous lifestyle

5. No major bullying at school, had friends

I personally don't think you have Aspergers but if you do, you need to head right on over to the Love and Dating forum and bestow your invaluable advice on the people having little success over there.

Well, I have a doctors note to prove that I do. also the whole touching other peoples faces thing was because I lacked proper empathy and was unaware of the discomfort I was causing. I later developed the characteristic Aspie fear of eyecontact. Incidentally I cured this fear by doing an exercise where I'd look every passing stranger in the eyes until they looked away, a few months of that desensitized me to eyecontact.
The fact that I wasn't bullied at school is more a reflection on my school than on me. I went to a very liberal, left wing school. There were people there who were significantly weirder than me, people who were openly homosexual and there was a transvestite, as far as I could tell none of these people were ever bullied.

I'm actually in the process of writing a book for men with Aspergers on how to become attractive to women. I am using this website to gain additional references for problems typically suffered by aspie males when it comes to dating.

The Love and Dating Forum is where you need to be asking for feedback

I'd still be very interested to see your photo

Also, what score do you get on the AQ test?

I'm not really comfortable posting a photo of myself openly on the internet, If you really want a photo you can PM me.

No, nor do I want to. Women are not suppliers of personal achievements to me, they're people, and while I seldom understand either gender I fully comprehend that everyone has a right to be treated with the same respect I hope they would show me. Real friends are something I strongly desire to one day meet, not to collect and display as a form of social acceptance.

To be more confident, to gain better social skills, to connect more with other people, these are noble pursuits. I think by promoting the opposing extreme as a sign of health is itself very unhealthy. I have limitations, but i'm also an adult, i've come to live with them in much the same way as I imagine everyone does with whatever difficulties they might have.

Just as the person with a fear of heights might avoid certain activities, this does not mean they should, or even want to, overcome this fear and become a professional rock climber. In the same way, I don't deal well with social encounters, but this doesn't mean I want to become the next Casanova or professional public speaker. I could definitely use more skills in both these areas, but i'm more content with being me, an imperfect person, rather than someone I wouldn't even recognize and being 'better' as gauged by some external interpretation.

Here's what it is:

You're going around and getting easy women, and happen to be rather good at sex.

Simple.

I don't think that explains it at all. If these are such "easy" women why can't other aspie guys pick them up despite trying? Also, they wouldn't find out how good he is at sex until they've already been "picked up", would they?

You have clearly approached becoming socially "successful" as you view it, by approaching it in a rather logical fashion, analysing it and calculating what you perceive to be successful methods.

However, social success does not consist merely of having a gang of like-minded acquaintances to go on the rampage looking for sexual encounters! There are many reasons why you might be able to find conquests, alcohol plays a large part on the side of many females that you would meet in bars and clubs, as well as the loose morals of many of them, they don't care if you are truly funny or captivating, they just want mutual sex, otherwise why would they allow your tongue down their throat within seconds? This is not social success. You will only ever be truly socially successful when you can maintain relationships, both of a platonic and romantic nature. Any fool can have sex under those circumstances.

I understand that you are bragging because you are a young man who has only recently discovered that you are able to get with girls, but this doesn't change facts.

When you come back onto the forum saying you've held down a romantic relationship for some time without significant problems, I will pat you on the back. When you come back and say you have real friends, who value you as a person, who is there for you when you need them and that you can reciprocate when they need you, that you have things in common and do other activities than drinking and sleeping around, I will applaud you.

I really don't want to burst your bubble, but you are in for a rude awakening if you go along thinking what you are doing equals total social acceptance and success. These girls you are sleeping with clearly don't have high opinions of themselves if they can sleep around so easily and also whilst knowing you are sharing yourself out between them and others. The sad thing is, that it's not uncommon for Aspie females to be used and abused in this way, so you could unwittingly be taking advantage of some Aspies' niavety and lack of understanding of the situation. (Many females are undiagnosed due to the difficulties in them getting diagnosed because all the studies have been done on males and there is still a lot of professional prejudice against females getting diagnosed).

Getting people to laugh at your jokes, possible, however the problems Aspie's have is in understanding humour not necessarily making it. I frequently can't understand when my husband is joking, but I can reduce him to cracking up rather easily. Aspies often have endearing humour, and sometimes it's the quirky way we tell jokes that makes them all the funnier not necessarily the humour itself. When people are drinking alcohol at social gatherings they are pretty easy to amuse because beer goggles make even silly little things ridiculously funny.

TBH I think your approach to psychology and using it to get girls into bed is a bit disturbing, and you seem to fit the profile of a sociopath rather more than you do an Aspie: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html and don't forget, misdiagnoses happen all the time.

I was like this for a brief time. I too changed at the age of 21, and I think 20 years of awkwardness actually helped my case, because I made mistakes nobody else would think to make, so I learned lessons most people wouldn't. I never became a ladies man because that's not who I am at the core and it's not what I wanted, but at one point I had three sex offers in one week. It's amazing how successful a person can be with that if they mentally prepare themselves to go all the way. I got over my fear of eye contact and socialization when I realized most people are just better at hiding it. I finally understood that the secret to social interaction was what I had always suspected: Make it up. I don't mean lie, I mean all conversation is improvisation. Saying the wrong thing isn't possible because there is no right thing, so rejection was no longer scary. I was able to organize my brain, which, although compartmentalized, was always running a mile a minute, and this essentially allowed me to be two or three steps ahead of everyone, even when initially meeting. Reinventing myself every single day allowed me to adapt to nearly any social situation, but I still didn't go out that much because there were certain other things I was interested in at the time, and I wanted to dedicate my time to those things while I still had the ability to do so.

Now, I've always had a window into people's hearts, but I never knew what to do with it. When I realized everybody is equally human and we all feel the same things, combined with my natural talent for recognizing patterns, I was like a guy playing 3D chess in Flatland, because most people do not communicate. What we say about the blind leading the blind is truer than I ever imagined. It was a real ego killer, knowing that I was worst at what I did best because we all define words differently. Even though I understood communication well enough to use spoken words as an extra tool rather than a foundation, I could still see just how much I wasn't getting through to people. It was like I could see their thoughts going over their heads, because like the T-1000, I had the ability to become the person I was talking to while I was talking to them. I think I always had the potential to do that; I was just afraid of moving forward with my life until I was 21, when the world didn't frighten me anymore. I think most people can do what I'm describing to a degree as long as they aren't afraid to see what is in front of them, and believe me, it's scary as hell. There are certain things you just don't want to see, and I prepared myself to see them. Has anyone ever wanted people to have warning labels? Well, they do, it's just a matter of knowing where to look, and a matter of preparing your emotions to handle it.

If you were very good looking for a young guy and managed to mask your symptoms of autism through the eyes of others, along with being fuelled up with alcohol, then yes I can see someone with aspergers having a more than active sex’s life.

Don’t under estimate the power of beauty, men and woman are designed by nature to fall for how we look alone. I’m sure most men would skip conversation and personality if Angelina Jolie wanted sex with them.

How can you knock a young mind obviously over proud with his own adventures, isn’t arrogance a trait of aspergers, this is easily detected in the way he expresses himself between the lines.
He doesn’t sound like a sociopath to me. Maybe the girls were taking advantage of him, I know girls took advantage of me when I was younger.

He just sounds young to me, that doesn't make him a sociopath.

If you look at the link in my post you will see the following as some of the traits of sociopathy, which seem to be displayed in OPs post:


Manipulative and Conning

They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. (the apparent lack of emotion in using women in this way)
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them (clearly he thinks that behaviour is OK, using psychological techniques to prey on women for sex)
Extreme narcissism and grandiose (very apparent throughout his post)
Grandiose Sense of Self (very apparent throughout his post)
Shallow Emotions (that's how it reads)

This is purely speculation of course, I don't know him and can only comment on the content of his post, and I can't comment on the other traits listed, but these really stand out.

I wonder if he has ever had any feelings for any of the girls he gets with.

Have you ever felt love for someone?