Are you accused of making things "complicated"??

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Jayo
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20 Jan 2013, 4:29 pm

This is one very frustrating aspect of interaction that frequently compels me to keep more to myself, yet I continue to engage with others regularly to stimulate NT-like thought processes.

Every now and then, somebody will tell me that I'm making things "complicated" when in reality, I'm attempting to simplify what I perceive to be something complicated, as best as I can. From their point of view, I know that they just want me to "see the big picture" or "read between the lines" when I need (more time) to observe, digest and analyze the components of the situation to respond the right way. The corollary to this harsh "complicated" accusation is the gawd-awful "you need to stop over-analyzing things".

Well, I find this extremely unfair and shallow - I mean, you can't imagine anyone telling the guy in a wheelchair that he's making things "complicated" by using the winding ramp then pushing the little red button, when all he has to do is climb the five stairs and open the front door to the building. Or it's like telling the blind man that he's making things "complicated" by reading braille.

Yes, maybe our approach is seen as lacking efficiency, not so much effectiveness. And I guess that's where laypeople tend to view us as eccentric, when in fact a lot of this is a perfectly rational response on our part. (and they say WE lack the capacity to think in abstract ways??)



Fluke83
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20 Jan 2013, 4:40 pm

I'm frequently accused of over-analyzing things, guess it's practically the same.

I simply need to analyze every little bit of a situation in detail, THEN try to stitch it together to a larger picture. I can't ignore some aspects of a situation and focus on others, I simply don't know how to sort it, what do I need to think about, what doesn't matter?

If there's one aspect I'm familiar with I might not focus on it before I have to figure out how it connects to everything else, but it too changes depending on the context.

It mostly applies in situation where I'm trying to figure out what's going on or why people do as they do.



AgentPalpatine
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20 Jan 2013, 4:42 pm

Jayo wrote:
This is one very frustrating aspect of interaction that frequently compels me to keep more to myself, yet I continue to engage with others regularly to stimulate NT-like thought processes.

Every now and then, somebody will tell me that I'm making things "complicated" when in reality, I'm attempting to simplify what I perceive to be something complicated, as best as I can. From their point of view, I know that they just want me to "see the big picture" or "read between the lines" when I need (more time) to observe, digest and analyze the components of the situation to respond the right way. The corollary to this harsh "complicated" accusation is the gawd-awful "you need to stop over-analyzing things".

Well, I find this extremely unfair and shallow - I mean, you can't imagine anyone telling the guy in a wheelchair that he's making things "complicated" by using the winding ramp then pushing the little red button, when all he has to do is climb the five stairs and open the front door to the building. Or it's like telling the blind man that he's making things "complicated" by reading braille.

Yes, maybe our approach is seen as lacking efficiency, not so much effectiveness. And I guess that's where laypeople tend to view us as eccentric, when in fact a lot of this is a perfectly rational response on our part. (and they say WE lack the capacity to think in abstract ways??)


Non-verbal communication and using social status to determine intent in verbal and written communication is pretty much how society papers over vague communications. Guess who has the issue there....


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kamiyu910
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20 Jan 2013, 4:57 pm

I have been told that I over analyze or overthink things all the time. Once I had a teacher tell me I was very good at analyzing everything, and that that wasn't necessarily a good thing. :( I have also been told to stop making things more complicated than they are... even though it doesn't seem like I am.


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TheValk
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20 Jan 2013, 4:59 pm

Indeed, and I just 'accused' this forum's moderator of the same a minute ago. :P



Tahitiii
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20 Jan 2013, 5:30 pm

I can’t get by without analyzing things. It's just not an option.
I’m an alien anthropologist. Always have been, even when I couldn’t have put it in words.
Sometimes I wish I could fit in, when I’m around good people and things are going well.
More often, it’s like watching a bunch of baboons humping each other and pounding on each other, all day, every day, for reasons that they don’t understand in themselves. Except that these baboons can talk, and invent excuses for their own behavior, and believe their own excuses. They don’t know that they’re lying, so I guess, in a way, they’re not.
I can’t really play. I don’t have the basic equipment or the aggressive instincts, I can’t relate at the instinctive level. I usually can’t figure out what just happened except in hind-sight. Even when I do figure out the correct response, it's always a second too late. My reactions will always be come over as calculated and insincere, because they are.



Logicalmom
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20 Jan 2013, 5:35 pm

As my doctor said: NT's go from the general to the particular, we go from the particular to the general - it is not something we can just "stop" doing. It's all in the wiring. Herein lies a gift and a curse, so to speak. We see a lot of what N's miss, on the other hand we can drown in a sea of details - again, so to speak.


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Rascal77s
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20 Jan 2013, 6:18 pm

Logicalmom wrote:
As my doctor said: NT's go from the general to the particular, we go from the particular to the general - it is not something we can just "stop" doing.


I feel like I'm just stuck in the particular.



Logicalmom
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20 Jan 2013, 7:35 pm

I feel that way, too, Rascal, and I think that this is the case. Too many particulars. I don't know about getting to a whole picture - to be able grab the general ... I never feel like I get there.


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Sylvastor
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20 Jan 2013, 9:48 pm

"You're over-analysing things!"
"Stop explaining things to me in such a complicated way!"
"Why do you make it so hard? There is an easier way of doing it!"
Is what I hear often. I just hate when I get interrupted in a thought process or things alike when I am working on something and someone says "stop doing it this complicated!", I do it the way I want to and I want people to respect that. If it's easier to me that way, let me be.


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blue1skies
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20 Jan 2013, 10:31 pm

Oh, yes. Every day.
My mind just over-thinks everything.



ChosenOfChaos
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20 Jan 2013, 11:46 pm

My friends in high school frequently told me that one of my defining characteristics was my inherent ability to make simple things complicated and complicated things simple.



Jaden
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21 Jan 2013, 12:52 am

It depends on what it is, but yes.

I think my way of interpreting data and analyzing potentials is very simple, but for some reason people tend to think it's overcomplicated.
I simply say "I can't help the way I handle a situation or interpret data anymore than you can, some might say you oversimplify things which makes you miss accurate facts about a situation", and usually they understand what I mean and realize it's just who I am.


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chlov
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21 Jan 2013, 8:23 am

All the time.



KevinS
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21 Jan 2013, 8:48 am

Yep. All the time. Also told frequently that I get caught up in little minor details and not seeing the big picture.



Schneekugel
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21 Jan 2013, 9:06 am

Tell them, that you are just like any other human too. You do it the way, that is the easiest way for you, and that comforts you most. Humans dont do things complicated just to make things more complicated for themself. So it may seem, that in the eyes of another person, they way you do something is complicated, but only because the NT way would be much more complicated to you. So if you have to decide between a complicated, and a more complicated way to do something, like every other human on earth you choose the less complicated one.

Nothing else like when you are eating with family. So NTs are not disturbed by conversation, talking is easy for them and so on. So if they want something from the other end of the table they ask, if someone could give it to them. For me its the opposite. simply standing up and taking what I need is much more simple, so I choose to do it this way.

Would it be more complicated for me to stand up and get something I want, instead of just asking for it, I would do so.