Aspies, do you lack empathy?

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Malsane
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01 Oct 2008, 12:47 am

CowboyFromHell wrote:

Malsane wrote:

Steve Irwin is amazing. I usually don't cry when appropriate, but I understand feeling upset about that whole affair.

Yeah, he was awesome. I was in shock. Forget his talent with animals, I mean, he was one helluva person. And he had a gift in life and he lived it to its full extent. I have such deep appreciation for him.

I like how he'd keep talking about the animal he was showing even after it bit him and he needed medical attention. He was just so cool.

A lot of people in my family do well with non-human animals. Both sides of the family actually. I get the Asperger's from Dad, and today Mom was telling me about how OCD her family is. Although Mom is good with people, we're all good with animals. I wonder what it is about us that makes us good with animals? I wish there was a way to understand humans better.

CowboyFromHell
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01 Oct 2008, 12:51 am

Malsane wrote:

I wonder what it is about us that makes us good with animals? I wish there was a way to understand humans better.

I think a lot of it is that we are more comfortable because the animals don't think the same way as humans, so they don't see differences between us and other people.

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dougn
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01 Oct 2008, 12:58 am

Malsane wrote:

Do you have empathy with humans? Humans are very confusing. Animals just talk to me. I understand them much better. They like me, and I like them.

No, I don't have empathy with humans either.

Malsane
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01 Oct 2008, 1:02 am

dougn wrote:

Malsane wrote:

Do you have empathy with humans? Humans are very confusing. Animals just talk to me. I understand them much better. They like me, and I like them.

No, I don't have empathy with humans either.

Does this make you sad, being disconnected? I often wish I could empathize with other humans. I can at least take comfort in my cats. We love each other very much, and understand each other well. One is sleeping on my toes now.

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01 Oct 2008, 1:05 am

Cats are cool because you never know what kind of personality you're gonna get when you adopt a cat. Some are outgoing and are vocal and follow guests around the house, then some are shy and skittish, kind of like us Aspies. I've had experience with both.

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Malsane
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01 Oct 2008, 1:11 am

CowboyFromHell wrote:

I have 4 cats. One is very haughty and pretentious, always letting us know she's superior. One is a 'fraidy cat. He's afraid of everything and loves to eat and be cuddled. One is the proverbial curious cat. He always has to investigate things. And the other one is a masochist. He was abused and neglected as a kitten. He's awfully skittish. I also had a cat who was really stupid, but he lives with a friend now.

dougn
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01 Oct 2008, 1:15 am

Malsane wrote:

Does this make you sad, being disconnected?

Well... I don't know if I'm necessarily disconnected, I just lack empathy.

I like some animals, I just wouldn't say I empathize with them or understand them instinctively, any more so than I do people.

AnnePande
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01 Oct 2008, 12:40 pm

Morgana wrote:

This may sound silly, but it was only very recently that I learned that "empathy" meant that you have to feel the exact same feeling as the other person...I guess I learned that word by osmosis, never looked it up in the dictionary, so I didn´t know. As it is, I`ll usually have a feeling, but a different one from what the person is feeling. For instance, if someone I care about is upset, I may just feel love for them, or the desire to help, but I cannot "get into" their feeling.

I do, however, feel empathy for children, particularly if they are being bullied or out-casted. Maybe because I´ve been there...

Exactly the same feeling? Are you sure?

Not even NTs would expect that from themselves or each other.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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01 Oct 2008, 12:45 pm

jonathandoors wrote:

I think I have some empathy, not for as*holes but for helpless children and animals. I feel sorry for them, and bad for them. This makes me somewhat different from Kiriana Kosawage.

I admit I have no empathy for as*holes and in fact when they suffer misfortunate I feel glad. The German is schedenfraude.

I feel absolutely horrible when children are abused. I just can't understand why people do it and where I live there is way too much of it.
People where I live rationalize their horrible behaviour toward children and some of them treat their animals better than their own kids. That type of mentality I cannot empathize with.

Yeah, I lack empathy.

MissConstrue
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01 Oct 2008, 1:17 pm

I'm still confused with empathy vs sympathy. Of course I get upset when someone close has died or when abuse or anything else is involved. What I have trouble with is expressing it in a way that is deem socially appropriate. Sometimes I am unable to cry but have those feelings.

Other times, I can't cue in on people's emotions like if my sister came home upset about something without saying anything. If it is noticable, I don't ask because I assume she wouldn't want to explain or didn't want anyone to know. Yet I notice ppl NT/not do the exact opposite. So this confuses me in tems of empathy and sympathy.

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tomboy4good
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01 Oct 2008, 1:25 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:

jonathandoors wrote:

The German word is Schadenfreude & the English translation is malicious-joy; malicious glee; gloating; gloating joy; gloat. Sorry, I had to look this up! (German was one of my obsessions many years ago.) I tried looking up the above term & it gave me this spelling.

I feel absolutely horrible when children are abused. I just can't understand why people do it and where I live there is way too much of it.
People where I live rationalize their horrible behaviour toward children and some of them treat their animals better than their own kids. That type of mentality I cannot empathize with.

Yeah, I lack empathy.

I can have empathy too, but for those who are cruel, never learn a lesson, or destructive, I have none. If I feel that someone deserves it, then I am certainly able to feel it. it also doesn't matter if it's man or beast.

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demoluca
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01 Oct 2008, 8:47 pm

I feel 'empathy' fully and completly, I feel it later then other people.

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Claradoon
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01 Oct 2008, 8:56 pm

It's not so much a lack of empathy as not reacting to the same things as some people. For example, in an office, when somebody leaves, I'm the only one not crying. This has happened so many times. But she's only going to work a block away, we've got all her phone numbers, what's to cry about? But I seem to lack empathy on occasions like that.

ToughDiamond
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02 Oct 2008, 4:46 am

Claradoon wrote:

I can never do these mass hysteria things either - like if a musician has a huge audience of people going nuts cheering, it doesn't make the slightest difference to my appreciation of the music. And I think if we could read minds, we'd find a lot of the participants were faking it just to keep up appearances, like forced laughter. I'd like to see a new term - trumpathy - meaning a feigned, overblown display of empathy. Mainstream society itself abounds with hypocrisy and deceit.

Morgana
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02 Oct 2008, 1:42 pm

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Eggman
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02 Oct 2008, 3:07 pm

I empathsize with everything but humans.

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