Anyone else feel like you're living on autopilot?

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By which I mean that you have no particular aim or purpose and, while you don't particularly want to die (I'm not suicidal right now) you don't really want to live, either. I shocked someone once by telling him I have no dreams, and it's still true, even more so now. I've given up on a bunch of things I once wanted (romance, starting a family, etc) but there's nothing that has taken its place instead. I feel, not a complete failure, but close in that I don't think I'm very good at anything - maybe I could've been a good engineer, except I was stupid enough to do something else in college. I don't feel needed or really wanted by anyone save my parents, and they would've been better off having another kind of kid - I feel I've failed them too.

Yeah... complete auto pilot, no aim, no purpose, no goals, no desires, no wants and few needs, nothing in terms of NT stereotypical stuff. No desire to live but no desire for suicide. Needs can often go unchecked and such, to an NT, apparently im depressed, for which I am not, Avolition is more like it...

I am amused by the situation in general, not individual cases.

Personally, I have tried suicide, but that was when young. It hurt a lot, that is the memory, the reptile brain in the back of the skull really wants to live and doesn't care about much else.

So I kept finding jobs where I could count stuff and built a small house without plumbing I could maintain.
Now I am 60 and cannot work anymore so I sit home with five cats and a flower garden and keep my fingers busy.

Someday I will die, by waiting for it to happen naturally nobody will be angry with me. No hurry, no rush, no worry.

I don't mind being alone all that much , but it is rough sometimes in the evenings.
Living on autopilot will lead to this, just so you know.

If the ability is there to interact with others it is highly recommended to do so.
If the ability is not there to interact with others then an interest is needed. I have a couple of "motion" hobbies that require energy (shoveling) and some requiring focus (swordwork) for days I am weak.

Something has to be there for the autopilot to DO, nothingness leads to nothingness.

Guys, I read all three of your posts.

I must encourage you....
with the only thing that worked for me!

that is Jesus!! !! : )

my life is online now, and yours will be too!

I pray for you 3,
write me anytime!! !!
I am always here to help!! !! !! !! : )

Exactly. The last dream of sorts I had was the desire to start a family - maybe because all other bonds with people (friendship, romance) have been so disappointing. But then I kind of realized that it was like a little boy playing at war - that in reality I'd be a terrible parent and I probably couldn't cope and I don't even like babies. A moot point as I can't reproduce on my own anyway, but that realization killed the desire to be a parent - which is just as well as it's not going to happen anyway.



I seriously considered suicide multiple times. What stopped me from trying was what it would do to my parents. But once they pass away, I won't really have a reason to go on living, it's not like anyone needs me.



I know, but I don't see any way I can avoid it.



Depends how you measure it. I can manage to more or less be tolerated by co-workers, I can make superficial friendships but not proper ones and I can't get even a first date.

Although I'm kind and mild-mannered, I hurt everyone around me with inattentiveness and inconsiderateness. I hurt my wife because she gets nothing from me emotionally, and is hurt by my inability to think of the prospect of starting a family.

Truth is, I'm happy with the status quo.

I don't care about anyone's opinions and don't particularly enjoy learning anymore. A great man I knew once said "If I needed to know it, I would've learned it by now."

I will be 31 in one week.

Living in auto-pilot has its pros and cons just like anything else. But if you get proper rest, nutrition and stay busy, you can live longer and more stress-free than many others. After all, so many people make life into a pissing contest. Well, that's my pissing contest.

Yeah, I'm on autopilot. Have been for several years now. I realize that I'm not capable of being happy and am unmotivated to pursue anything because of this. Not that I'm particularly capable of doing anything anyway. I've had too many failures to bother to keep trying.