Wishing the desire for love was off my radar

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I am so frickin tired of going through periods of renewed false hope every time I begin to develop a rapport with any (in my mind at least) prospective partner. I'm tired of being affirmed of all my "good catch" qualities and "good looks" by people who only use the words in my interest, not the actions. I'm disenchanted from all the dating site conversations that have people telling me how "deep", "classy", "interesting" and "uncommon" I am, and how I am SO "different than anyone they've ever met" that's yielded 2 meetings F2F out of countless conversations, and those were 7 years ago. Most of all I'm fed up with being out in public and if she's not already locking arms with a knuckle-dragger, then the missing part of the adventure either has her nose buried in her touchscreen, or a personal favorite of mine, the ring on the left hand that I swear to God magically appears out of nowhere on the second glance.

At the moment I'm equally or more frustrated at how this vain pursuit has screwed up my primary special interest. Fark! Why the farking fark do jam buddies have to start bringing GFs to jams? To ruin my life, I guess

All the more the thought of it makes wish I was so low functioning that love wouldn't register with me. Ever get the feeling?

Yes I do.

I was just thinking yesterday that the world would be so much better if there was no such thing as sexual attraction and we could all just be friends.

outside of a mother's love for her offspring [under optimal conditions] all earthy "love" is largely conditional and hence counterfeit. only unconditional love ["agape"] is the real thing. since that dawned on me, i no longer feel lonely on days like valentine's day. all earthly "love" is temporal ['cept for the maternal love which is beyond earth-time and is quasi-eternal].

spiritual practises can move the chi from the loins to the heart, or throat, or third eye or the blissfull crown
then you will have a halo to screw with

If we are not meant to spawn, we are not meant to spawn

Traditionally aspies fullfilled other roles in the community rather than breeders

Breeding is overrated and sexual desire destroys many peoples lives, not just aspies

In some ways many of us are very lucky to be asexual in nature

That's still the case today. But I'll bet in times gone by those aspies still got pressured by relatives with the question "so when are you going to get married?"

All that church, Bible reading and prayer has done is serve to leave me just as pissed-off, frustrated and lonely as before I started, while everyone else around reaps the benefits of ill-gotten gains, in a sense.

I don't know whether the axiom "If you're truly destined to be single, there would be no stirring in your heart" is truth, wisdom, a promise to instill hope, or the romantic equivalent of Lucy taking away the football every time Charlie Brown goes to kick it.

I can empathize with the asexuals getting pressure from their families and friends, but what do you do when you agree with the others and want it more than they'll ever know? Even then, what really sucks is when the family knows the struggles and constantly talks about someone else they know that's crying themselves to sleep over their loneliness, yet the thought of talking the person up to the other to create some level of mutual attraction doesn't enter their head. I never understood that

you are seeing social darwinism rear its head here.

why not give a hooker a spin? sort of get you in rhythm for a real g/f?

I know a few guys who struggle with women, so they buy sex once a month
Costs nearly 2k a year, but compared to a real g/f, with possible/likely inherent emotional problems..... that $2k might be real good value



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky-LBarfe4g[/youtube]

I feel this way all the time. Every time I get out of an utter failure of a relationship, I tell myself I am, "DONE." I keep thinking that I must have been created to be single, because no one who was created to be in a relationship would have this much trouble. Only problem is I really do long for someone with whom I can have a true connection and partnership, and I do wish desperately that I didn't.

It is a shame. I know the feeling, I want to not have to worry about love, but it's still there, the desire for that close bond that helps fill a gap and gives you extra mental and physical support.

If you ever find the drive to try again, it might be hard, but try casual dating. I haven't tried it myself, but looking for someone else that really isn't into anything permanent can be a good experience. Sometimes the bond of love forms even if you never end up together, and sometimes it can grow into more. That's what casual dating is about, from what I understand.
At least that way, there's less pressure, hopefully.

It isn't always a good thing when they do make that effort. I had this happen to me with a man; everyone who knew us thought we would be perfect for each other and tired to talk us up to each other, tried to engineer situations where we could be around each other and get to know each other. I don't know if it was the social pressure from others or a genuine mutual dislike, but we don't even talk to each other anymore.