Making friends

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Something in another thread made me think of this...

When attempting to make friends, do you approach people, or do you rely on others approaching you?

I tend to not approach people; instead, I usually wait for them to come to me, largely because I'm not always sure how to approach others or what to say.

I seldom approach people unless I really need to for some reason, because I don't know how and because I'm afraid of a rude response. Because I obviously look very unapproachable, people seldom approach me, either. That's why I don't even have a chance to make friends.

I'm always afraid to approach other people because then I might (or am afraid of) being accused of ''following'' or ''being too demanding'' or ''not giving them any space'', even though I know full well that I'm not the sort to be in your face. This is the thing with having AS - you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

People come to me, this happens quickly or not at all, the last friend I made was this way becouse he just walked up to me at first meet and began talking with me about my special intrest we shared at that point my Aspergers was now an after thought. What we call hitting it off!

The other way is if I see someone over a long period of time(months or years) and get to know them I may find a special intrest connection through normal conversations that may lead to the illusive meeting ouside our normal interaction. happens extreamly little. I may offer my services if they express needing help in order to try to spark a potential friendship.

When I was a child at age 7 I did ask another child I was sort of playing with if she wanted to be friends(I mean I said that literaly) thankully she was really nice about it as akward is it was and we enjoyed a friendship for a few years.

the timing has to be right. if people are stressed, or involved in their world(like we are) then don't approach. but if you have a quick thought that may show empathy (or infer concern or a shared interest with your comment) then say something in a relaxed manner, not expecting huge smiles or somebody to say a big thankyou for your interjection. maybe just a raised lip, some kind of acknowledgement of what you said. at least you tried at connecting or making a good impression on a stranger.

sometimes people react good to your comments, because by commenting you are putting yourself up for ridicule if it is taken the wrong way. but thats life, but at least you tried, and 7 times out of 10 your comments will get a postitive response, and you wont beat yourself about it as much in the future when the same situation comes around.

I don't approach people in situations where the situation isn't explicitly social. For example, when I'm at school, I focus on the lecture, since in the past, I've found that having to chat to someone new is distracting and anxiety provoking.

As well, I don't approach people when I think I won't have anything in common with them (i.e. I'm at an even where I don't know a single person there). However, when I can think of a mutual theme to bring up in a conversation, (i.e. my friend has hosted a party, so the girl in the corner will know my friend), I can easily strike up a conversation.

It's hard to approach someone you don't have enough information about. I always feel so awkward, unless someone introduces me (I guess I need a little helping hand).

I have never approached anyone to be friends. The only friend I had through school approached me because she fell out with her own friend. I only approach people for things like directions, information and other necessities. If I have been friends with people, it's usually been through them being a colleague, a friend of a boyfriend that I was introduced to etc., so it has been situations that just happened.

Normally i tend to approach towards people as i know how to start a simple conversation.

I totally depend on people to approach me because I have no idea how to do it.

I'm trying to change that, though.

I usually wait for people to approach me...

I am ok in formal situations, but not in casual ones. The rules of interaction are clearer in the former.