How to tell if your girlfriend is a psycho.

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periphery
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17 Feb 2013, 12:50 am

BlueMax wrote:
So, in clear English - what do you claim is this awful "bigger issue" we apparently keep missing?

That stereotypes are harmful and offensive regardless of whether they're made in jest.



MXH
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17 Feb 2013, 12:55 am

periphery wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
So, in clear English - what do you claim is this awful "bigger issue" we apparently keep missing?

That stereotypes are harmful and offensive regardless of whether they're made in jest.

The way I see it stereotypes exist for a reason. If it weren't something so common place in a group then no one would single it out. No one woke up one morning and thought it'd be funny if blacks ate fried chicken, Jews were greedy, Hispanics were all in gangs, and whites were all fat, men are all jerks, women are all golddiggers, etc. It happens, people notice, and then people label. All you can do is work to move away from it, but you cant expect some whining is going to change someone elses thoughts. Else you'll just end up as a stereotype yourself.



periphery
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17 Feb 2013, 1:00 am

MXH wrote:
If you like making a big deal out of little things like for example instead of thinking about the victims to think about a link between school shooters then maybe the attention seeking in negative forms would drive out.

I'm really not sure what you mean here. Just because I highlighted the possibility of someone drawing parallels between mass-murderers and ASD does not negate any sympathy I have for the victims. I'm saying that stereotypes, when being used as trademarks of undesirable characters or actions, really have no place in any forum, whether it comedy or otherwise as they do nothing to break down prejudices that exist within society.



periphery
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17 Feb 2013, 1:07 am

MXH wrote:
periphery wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
So, in clear English - what do you claim is this awful "bigger issue" we apparently keep missing?

That stereotypes are harmful and offensive regardless of whether they're made in jest.

The way I see it stereotypes exist for a reason. If it weren't something so common place in a group then no one would single it out. No one woke up one morning and thought it'd be funny if blacks ate fried chicken, Jews were greedy, Hispanics were all in gangs, and whites were all fat, men are all jerks, women are all golddiggers, etc. It happens, people notice, and then people label. All you can do is work to move away from it, but you cant expect some whining is going to change someone elses thoughts. Else you'll just end up as a stereotype yourself.

Yes, exactly. You move away from it by pointing out why it is inaccurate or harmful, which I think I have done, as opposed to whining like you see it. You seem to think someone pointing out inaccuracies in socially acceptable 'norms' that have largely resulted from negative steretyping is whining. So people all over the world fighting for equality and justice are just whining too? They should just move away from it? How do you propose they do that? Ignoring something doesn't make it go away.



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17 Feb 2013, 1:08 am

MXH wrote:
periphery wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
So, in clear English - what do you claim is this awful "bigger issue" we apparently keep missing?

That stereotypes are harmful and offensive regardless of whether they're made in jest.

The way I see it stereotypes exist for a reason. If it weren't something so common place in a group then no one would single it out. No one woke up one morning and thought it'd be funny if blacks ate fried chicken, Jews were greedy, Hispanics were all in gangs, and whites were all fat, men are all jerks, women are all golddiggers, etc. It happens, people notice, and then people label. All you can do is work to move away from it, but you cant expect some whining is going to change someone elses thoughts. Else you'll just end up as a stereotype yourself.


That's why it's funny how racism is considered "taboo" cause people think in extreme-terms about it. For example, somebody makes a mildly-racist joke to try and be humorous, but instead the people listening act totally shocked by it. :roll:



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17 Feb 2013, 1:18 am

if after 2.5 months of being broken up she's still using you as a source of jokes on facebook...



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17 Feb 2013, 1:53 am

MXH wrote:
The way I see it stereotypes exist for a reason. If it weren't something so common place in a group then no one would single it out. No one woke up one morning and thought it'd be funny if blacks ate fried chicken, Jews were greedy, Hispanics were all in gangs, and whites were all fat, men are all jerks, women are all golddiggers, etc. It happens, people notice, and then people label. All you can do is work to move away from it, but you cant expect some whining is going to change someone elses thoughts. Else you'll just end up as a stereotype yourself.

I don't necessarily agree with either side here, but this isn't a good argument. Specifically, the fried chicken stereotype arose because back in slavery times, a very common dish in the South was fried chicken. The South, as I'm sure you're all aware, was where a lot of slavery was concentrated. The Hispanics in gangs thing has to do with inequality (and potentially a movie? I think there was one that was really influential that had to do with this, not quite sure though). There are probably similar explanations for the others. Many stereotypes are based in history. Many originate from the media. That does not mean they reflect reality (or ever did, in some cases).


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BlueMax
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17 Feb 2013, 2:33 am

Because I can't think of a better time or place for it:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TpZteN9XCc[/youtube]

SPLAT! :P



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17 Feb 2013, 6:05 am

MXH wrote:
periphery wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
So, in clear English - what do you claim is this awful "bigger issue" we apparently keep missing?

That stereotypes are harmful and offensive regardless of whether they're made in jest.

The way I see it stereotypes exist for a reason. If it weren't something so common place in a group then no one would single it out. No one woke up one morning and thought it'd be funny if blacks ate fried chicken, Jews were greedy, Hispanics were all in gangs, and whites were all fat, men are all jerks, women are all golddiggers, etc. It happens, people notice, and then people label. All you can do is work to move away from it, but you cant expect some whining is going to change someone elses thoughts. Else you'll just end up as a stereotype yourself.

yes, those things exist for a reason - they have been used as tools to help to reinforce the power dynamic between the dominant culture and the subjugated or less powerful people. this was because the people in the dominant culture were jealous of their power and it was a social tool to keep the lesser culture in line. this was not a conscious thing, more of like turning members of the otehr culture into the enemy to keep them in line on a subconscious level. i.e.

black fried chicken stereotype - arose during black slavery in the South
Jews being greedy - arose in europe when Jewish people were not allowed to be citizens or landowners
Hispanics in gangs - arose in U.S. when they were/are a poor minority, often with immigrant status from neighbouring countries
women being golddiggers - arose when women didn't hold powerful positions in business and didn't earn nearly as much as men - until recently there were many jobs they were not even allowed to do. until about 4 generations ago, they could not own land in many western countries either - not so long ago. so they had to marry into money.

except for the fat white person one (haven't heard it) and men all being jerks - those are more recent, possibly because of shifting power dynamics. it is very difficult for members of the group to fight stereotyping in action because every time one single member acts according to form, it reinforces the stereotype and every time someone acts in opposition to it, the evidence is ignored.

some people LIKE to stereotype others and make negative generalisations. they do it under the guise of "not being politically correct" but there is nothing "politically incorrect" about... being inaccurate in one's statements. perhaps it makes them feel powerful, as it seems to arise from a place of fear.


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17 Feb 2013, 6:27 am

Then you have the rural stereotype (who may just like guns) that most people think it's ok to stigmatize.

It's quite sad.



nessa238
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17 Feb 2013, 6:41 am

NTs seem to use words like 'psycho' and 'nutter' to mean all sorts of behaviour.

In my 'Asperger world' the word 'psycho' means a psychopath ie a person who might end up killing you ie a dangerous person
and 'nutter' means a mentally ill person who might do unpredictable possibly dangerous things

I get the impression these words are used to indicate many different types of behaviour to NTs but how on earth is a person to know the exact meaning that is meant if the word is being used for lots of different types and degrees of behaviour?

I need specifics and I like a word to have ONE MEANING!

My mind assigns a specific meaning to each word so this playing around with meanings is very confusing and annoying.

So

Is the video meaning 'Is your girlfriend a person who is very unstable and might end up killing you?' ?

or is it just asking if she's vaguely unstable but not dangerous?



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17 Feb 2013, 7:11 am

Yes indeed it's a misuse of the word psycho.

It's not ok to use the word "creep" to describe a guy with unwelcome behavior in a romantic context, so why is it ok to use the word "psycho" to describe a girl who has any number of emotional instabilities? Personality disorders of the BPD or histrionic variety do not equate to psycho, just as clumsy unwelcome dating advances don't equal creepy.

"Psycho Shaming". There we go, I just realised a new phenomena.



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17 Feb 2013, 7:12 am

Dillogic wrote:
Then you have the rural stereotype (who may just like guns) that most people think it's ok to stigmatize.

It's quite sad.

yeah, perhaps that also comes from a place of fear? like, fear of the "hillbillies"?


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17 Feb 2013, 7:13 am

Yes.

I don't even know what "psycho" is. A shortening of psychotic? That's a specific illness. Same with all the others out there that people shouldn't be stigmatized for having.



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17 Feb 2013, 7:14 am

nessa238 wrote:
NTs seem to use words like 'psycho' and 'nutter' to mean all sorts of behaviour.

In my 'Asperger world' the word 'psycho' means a psychopath ie a person who might end up killing you ie a dangerous person
and 'nutter' means a mentally ill person who might do unpredictable possibly dangerous things

I get the impression these words are used to indicate many different types of behaviour to NTs but how on earth is a person to know the exact meaning that is meant if the word is being used for lots of different types and degrees of behaviour?

I need specifics and I like a word to have ONE MEANING!

My mind assigns a specific meaning to each word so this playing around with meanings is very confusing and annoying.

So

Is the video meaning 'Is your girlfriend a person who is very unstable and might end up killing you?' ?

or is it just asking if she's vaguely unstable but not dangerous?

yeah, it makes me uneasy to try to figure out what is meant by the word in his context.


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17 Feb 2013, 7:17 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
periphery wrote:
Because it takes seemingly innocuous and regular activities like wanting to look good when going out, being obsessed with celebrities, and getting upset when the [controlling] bf tries to dictate who the gf can and cannot flirt with (read: speak to) and turns them into hallmarks of someone that is actually an 'psycho-killer'.


Does this sort of comment ring a bell boo?

Its the standard reply on those threads you despise so much if you tweak some of the specifics


What the f**k you are talking about?

Look dear Spongy, you either quote things I said from other threads to prove whatever you are talking about.... or just zip it.

And no, nothing of that ring a bell, not even a tiny bit.

Tbh, I have no idea what you are talking about and you sound to me you're just trolling.


I dont have the time to look for one of those threads and those threads tend to be locked due to heavy discussions so itd be against the rules to make a quote.
I will however save this thread as a bookmark and link to it whenever you complain about females doing this very same thing in the future