Is it just me?

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Well I been here for about a week. Before I found Wrong Planet. I had been researching going to classes, camps, training, Just about everything I could get ahold of to educate myself. Its kind of like detective work. Trying to figure out why she does this or that. Or how to best motivate her to do other things.

To be honest I had really hit the wall. I was at a point where I was not coming across anything new. Nothing really helpful. The last few "events" I attended I could almost finish the sentences for the "experts" before they did.

Call it burned out. In a rut. whatever.

Since I have been visiting here I have started looking at things through slightly different eyes. I think I have at least a little incite to the processes and reasons behind the actions in the a first person perspective from the forum proper. Its very enlightening.

And talking on the parents thread I have been surprised to find the issues we experience with Chloe are not really uncommon. From the difficulty with the bowel movements and hard stool, to the grazing and inappropriate touching.

I have to say it has re-energized me. And I needed that.


So This is an incomplete list of things I dont know if they are common. Or what motivates them. I thought some of you might be able to shed some light on them. Or maybe say "yes we see the same thing"

Start each sentence with "My Chloe does this":

Presses the corner of one eye. Walks around like that. Or watches tv, reads, ect.

Is fascinated with someone else crying. Gets right in their face and seems to enjoy it.

Cracks the knuckles on her toes, feet, hands ect very hard.

Gets into laughing fits on a regular basis. Extreme happiness. Almost on par with the meltdown but much more fun.

Searches "Tantrums" on you tube and enjoys watching them.

Hits (and hard) but its not a mean hit. Its more like a lets play hit. She always smiles when she hits. But its not fun for the person receiving the hit. I have seen her do this to strangers we pass in a hallway. Its inappropriately hard and has caused issues at school.

Flutters her fingers in-front of her face and goes "weweweeeeweeeweewee".

If she has a slightly loose tooth. She will pull it out. More than once we have walked in her room and it was like a scene out of a saw movie. Blood everywhere her smiling reading a book.

Speaks almost in a whisper. But can yell or occasionally say loud things.

She has crazy good balance. Its scary to watch her on playground equipment. But the only way she ever falls is is she does it deliberately.

Given a choice of the same food. She prefers to eat off of others plates.

If we have cookies, bread, Chicken nuggets or such. She will take one bite out of each one rather than eat an entire one.

Cant seem to get the whole cootie and scootie wiping thing down. Gets a low score on wiping.

Ask a color "What color is curtain" then screams and melts when you answer. Becomes fixated at times on this. Its a no win situation for us. She melts if we answer. She melts if we dont.

Really enjoys rolling around on the ground. Grass, dirt, snow, ect ect.

Is completely fearless. Not scared at all of things that commonly scare kids. The dark, spiders ect


Thats my starter list

Welcome! For me, forums like this one, where you can get information straight from the source, were unique and effective. I wanted to get inside my unique child.

It would help to know how old your daughter is. That makes a difference. Maybe I missed it; if so, my apologies. Anyway.

My comments on your specific items follow:



Start each sentence with "My Chloe does this":

That one is unique to me, but the concept of playing with words or going third party isn't. Many children when they are young go third party; it is part of trying to understand language.

Presses the corner of one eye. Walks around like that. Or watches tv, reads, ect.

Sounds like a sensory thing or stim. My son didn't do that exact one, but he had many of his own inventions over the years.

Is fascinated with someone else crying. Gets right in their face and seems to enjoy it.

I think that is fairly common with very young children, and you have to remember that ASD is often developmental delays, so our kids might phase through it at a later age.

Cracks the knuckles on her toes, feet, hands ect very hard.

Another sensory/stim thing. My son didn't do that exact one, but he was fascinated by the numerous ways he could pretzel his body (he has hyper-extension).

Gets into laughing fits on a regular basis. Extreme happiness. Almost on par with the meltdown but much more fun.

My son did that. But with him it wasn't really extreme happiness; it was more of an uncontrolled reaction related to stress AND something sort-of funny.

Searches "Tantrums" on you tube and enjoys watching them.

Never did that.

Hits (and hard) but its not a mean hit. Its more like a lets play hit. She always smiles when she hits. But its not fun for the person receiving the hit. I have seen her do this to strangers we pass in a hallway. Its inappropriately hard and has caused issues at school.

My don did things like that. He didn't know how to modulate and was very confused by the chummy hitting he saw other boys do at school. We had to go to a simple rule: you don't touch people, period, regardless of what you see other people do.

Flutters her fingers in-front of her face and goes "weweweeeeweeeweewee".

Another stim, I would think. My son never did that, but he paces. Not just back and forth, but up and over furniture and into walls.

If she has a slightly loose tooth. She will pull it out. More than once we have walked in her room and it was like a scene out of a saw movie. Blood everywhere her smiling reading a book.


Didn't have that problem, but I imagine she experiences pain differently. It may not hurt her.

Speaks almost in a whisper. But can yell or occasionally say loud things.

Another modulation issue, maybe combined with normal childhood experimentation on volume. My son was never too bad, but modulation issues are common.

She has crazy good balance. Its scary to watch her on playground equipment. But the only way she ever falls is is she does it deliberately.

My son doesn't have that, but I've heard of other AS kids who do. ASD is a condition of gifts and burdens, and you'll find your child tends to either excel or be horrible at something, with very little in the middle. And the pattern makes no sense sometimes.

Given a choice of the same food. She prefers to eat off of others plates.


Common normal kid thing. My NT daughter did that. And still does with water - its always my water she drinks. The cat, too - it has to be MY water. WHY?

If we have cookies, bread, Chicken nuggets or such. She will take one bite out of each one rather than eat an entire one.

Another common normal kid thing. You just may not realize it because your daughter is probably doing it at a much older age where it is less accepted.

Cant seem to get the whole cootie and scootie wiping thing down. Gets a low score on wiping

Practically universal for ASD kids. Many threads here on hygiene issues!

Ask a color "What color is curtain" then screams and melts when you answer. Becomes fixated at times on this. Its a no win situation for us. She melts if we answer. She melts if we dont.

My guess is that she is digging for something that isn't clear from her question. Or she is testing for predictable answers. ASD is also characterized as a communication disorder, and while my son may not have ever had that particular obsession, he had others. I learned to stop the pattern by trying to get to the real root of the problem. It is also possible she does this because she is at a breaking point and needs to meltdown, and so seeks a trigger subconsciously.

Really enjoys rolling around on the ground. Grass, dirt, snow, ect ect.

My son, too. He is very much a sensory seeker when it comes to touch. For him, I've been told it may be related to his hyper-mobility. Since the joints are loose, less nerve signals actually get through to the brain, causing him to seek additional input.

Is completely fearless. Not scared at all of things that commonly scare kids. The dark, spiders ect

My son for the most part, too, until he went through a phase of panic attacks ... those extremes, again.

Hope this helps!

My son (age 11) does or used to do the above things.

I think he was saying for the reader to start each of the sentences with "My Chloe does this" not that his daughter says this.

Our occupational therapist mentioned the balance thing just yesterday! Apparently it is the result of an eye tracking abnormality...kids with sensory integration problems often don't get dizzy when spinning. She actually spun him in a special swing just for that purpose and then looked at his eyes to see what they were doing. It surprised me, since I always had poor balance (I'm an Aspie, too). Not sure if that's what you mean by good balance, but your daughter sounds like she has a lot of sensory things going on...have you tried OT? It helps a lot with sensory issues, and a good OT can give you lots of strategies to try. They are worth their weight in gold (which is good, because that's about how much OT costs)! Fortunately, I was able to get some help through the Easter Seals, which made it really affordable.

Welcome bssage, glad you're feeling reinvigorated!

She is 10.

Amen to the OT. Not only is it outrageously expensive for us to pay for. The state sponsored OT is 1/2 hour a day a week during the summer. WTH If you count the time it takes to walk in the door, get thier gear out of the bag, then pack up when its over. Its worthless.

And yeah: when she get into the laughing fits. We enjoy that. Dont really care what causes it. I just love to hear her laugh.

That interesting about the balance. She does not really get dizzy. We are always afraid she will fall and bonk her head after she twirls around in circles. Never does.

I highly recommended "The Out of Sync Child" if you haven't read that one yet. It has the best, IMHO, info on kids with sensory issues which it sounds like your DD has in abundance. I also must comment on the laughing. Sometimes people with ASD have inappropriate reactions. Laughing can be a result of discomfort rather than a sign of joy. This may not be true for your DD but it is for my DS (and my DH) sometimes.

My son has done similar in the past. I think it is due to his ocular motor issues.


Sometimes my son does this and it actually triggers a meltdown. I think it is due to difficulties regulating emotion.


My son's life in early elementary. Look up "difficulty grading movement." It is a proprioceptive thing. While he no longer hits or grabs too hard, the grip he uses on his pencil and the resulting force with which he writes would almost be impressive if it didn't cause so many problems.


This is definitely sensory. Belongs with my daughter, not my son, although I have not seen her do it in years.


My daughter does this when feeling nervous or overwhelmed. Sometimes she simply becomes mute. I have asked her why and she said that is the only sound that will come out. She said it isn't that she doesn't want to talk louder, it's just that it is hard to talk, and when she does, the soft voice is all that will come out.


While not exactly the same, my daughter used to freak out massively if she was handed any piece of broken food or if a something broke while she was eating it. She would not finish it. The first words I ever heard her use uninitiated that I were certain were her own was "broken moon" while looking at a crescent moon. For some reason, the lack of wholeness seemed disturbing to her. Maybe for your daughter, once the food is not whole, it is not "right" anymore. Maybe try popcorn chicken and bite-sized cookies?


Oh. Yes. Horrible wiper. (Daughter, that is)


Used to apply to daughter. Now she is utterly fearful To be honest, except for the running into the street part, I kind of miss the fearlessness LOL!

Lol! Of course, you are 100% right.

And us parents never have communication issues; nah, never

I used to do the whole "pressing on the eyes" thing. Only it wasn't just pressing on the corners of my eyes, I would close my eyes and press on them with full faith and credit...when I did that, all these swirls and different colors would appear, which fascinated me. I never did it for very long, though, usually just for a few seconds at a time.

For the most part: at this point. I have become accustomed to her idiosyncrasies. So much so that if I am expecting one of them to display and it does not: I become concerned.

I think the most troubling thing for me is that she is not able to express herself in a way we can understand when she has an issue that we may be able to help with. Like a headache, Earache, cavity ect ect. Even though she is extremely durable almost never gets throw up sick or favors a knee leg ect.

We notice a shift in challenging behavior's and have to try to discover what the actual issues is. That I think is the most frustrating thing.

That and when we meet people they always introduce themselves or try to make small talk with her. Which means I have to explain things. Then they follow with "I;m sorry" or something like that. I get exhausted trying to explain why they shouldn't feel sorry. That she is the most rewarding thing on the planet. That wears me out.

I once asked a friend who ice skated competitively how skaters don't get dizzy, since they don't "spot" like dancers do as they are turning. She said when she first started skating she got dizzy all the time, and then one day it was like a switch flipped and she never got dizzy again. I imagine the same thing happens to kids who spin a lot.

I find this forum a great source of info, its real life people, not doctors quoting from text books Genuine advice from people who have been through the same problems, tried and tested solutions to common problems. Also with members all around the world you can get an answer fast any time of the day or night

Is fascinated with someone else crying. Gets right in their face and seems to enjoy it.
Searches "Tantrums" on you tube and enjoys watching them.
These things have to do with inappropriate social response. A lot of us simply can't control these things. I know that when someone around me gets hurt or is crying I have to remove myself from the situation to prevent myself from antagonizing the person by snickering of laughing. Maybe you need to start getting her to do the same thing to prepare for later in life. Get her to excuse herself to the washroom or something. I seem to have pretty decent control over myself most of the time, but these are instances when I do lose control of myself. Most people see this as defiance or uncaring, but I really can not help myself at all.

Cracks the knuckles on her toes, feet, hands ect very hard.
Habit. I do the same thing. Drive my mum NUTS. Is she double jointed at all in the areas that she cracks regularly? Doctors have found a connection between "lax" joints (those that can hyperextend easily) and ASD. I have lax joints and I find the ones that are double jointed get stiff very easily (even when I was a little kid and had no reason for them to be getting stiff). The only way for me to relieve this pain is to crack the joint, so I do. This may be something that you have to learn how to live with. If it is a case of her having lax joints and them being stiff, its just her way of getting comfortable again.

If she has a slightly loose tooth. She will pull it out. More than once we have walked in her room and it was like a scene out of a saw movie. Blood everywhere her smiling reading a book.
I did the same thing. A lot of people with ASD have this attitude of "if something is making me uncomfortable, remove it". This can best be applied to us being in a situation where we are not happy, so we remove ourselves but is transferrable to other parts of our lives. Loose teeth used to drive me bonkers as a child, so I'd just yank them out because i'd rather have no teeth than a loose one. Also, once my focus was on that tooth there was no distracting me away from it so I'd yank it prematurely just to get my focus back.

She has crazy good balance. Its scary to watch her on playground equipment. But the only way she ever falls is is she does it deliberately.
Is completely fearless. Not scared at all of things that commonly scare kids. The dark, spiders act
Can't shed any insight on these ones really but I can say that I was the same way as a kid.

RawSugar

That is something I find unique to this forum. Getting a point of view from someone who has been there and is now able to express what these things meant to them. I find myself reading a lot of threads here that I really cant participate in. But I read them just to get perspective.

At school that is what they have to do. Completely remove her. She is just soooo into it. A interesting side note. The behavior is shocking enough that it usually snaps the injured person out of the crying fit. To see what the heck she is doing.

One question I dont know if I will be able to get a good answer to. Is her cognition. We know she understand's many things. What we dont know is if she understands the why rather than the what. With Cole (NT) you can say stuff like we need to pick thing up to keep mice away or have a clean house. Where With Chloe I don't know if she understands those kind of concepts of a task or just the mechanics of putting a dish in the right place.

We know she know's a lot of stuff. We are unsure of her context of that knowledge.

It would be very helpful for all kinds of things from hygiene to excusing herself when someone gets hurt. If we knew how to explain reasons for actions.

I suppose that is the big mystery for everyone though.