How do you feel about having a kid.

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I was watching this the other day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35gcBL1ZwY4

Even though i havent had a girlfriend yet, im just 20 and i know i probably will find someone, and im just having anxiety and depression knowing, that my son if i have one, will probably have a mental disorder, i've been reading in internet, and the probability is high if one of the fathers have a mental disease , but i dont know if the probability gets higher, when you have a cocktail of mental disorders(Asperger,ADHD,OCD,Dyspraxia,Dyslexia,Dysgraphia,Depression,Anxiety) and im also currently getting a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder, im not thinking im having that, but my psychiatrist keeps thinking i have it, i cant have antisocial, i do lie, i do manipulate, but i think is just fault of the people that changed me, not me.

Keeping with the thread, the anxiety is killing me, and im probably considering right now, the chance of not having kids just to avoid them from living a hell of a life.

What is your opinion?.

I love being a mom. My son is normal so far. The January's case is rare. Not very many children get schizophrenia that young. The parents just rolled the dice unfortunately and I think they are pretty strong people because if I were them, she would already be living in a hospital because it would be too much for me to handle and it's way beyond how much I can handle and I don't take violent kids who are dangerous. So the parents are pretty brave and strong. they were offered a place for her in the hospital where she can live and get treatment but they refused it because they didn't want her to be far away from them where they wouldn't be able to see her often. I think the other conditions you mentioned are not bad at this case and her's is worse than ours and the other conditions you mentioned.

But some cases like her's are very rare so I am not worried about rolling the dice. There are other rare diseases out there and I don't worry about having a kid with those either. I could worry about having a kid with progeria and that is also very rare.

I'm not really sure yet. Yes there's a probability that my kids (if I ever have any) would also be on the spectrum, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing per se. I mean, there's plenty of people on the spectrum who lead happy and fulfilling lives. Plus, they'd have a parent who'd be able to help them and understand them. Though that's only one part of the equation, nature. There's also nurture so me being anxious could make my kid behave similarly to stress. Then again, I (hopefully) wouldn't be raising the kid alone so there's someone else to balance things out a little.

When the time comes you'll have to have a good discussion about the pros and cons and decide together with your partner what risks are acceptable. I mean, you and your partner could very well have other bad genes that don't present themselves as problems in the both of you but that you could pass to your kids. You could always go for adoption.

Why don't you adopt a child from Asia, Africa, Europe or somewhere where some poor people can't afford to look after their children, if you, in the future, decide that you want a child. You probably have a choice in which child to adopt. That way you can have a healthy child. Not that unhealthy child is worse or anything. But if you are concerned about the possibility of a health problem of the child you may have in the future, adoption is the surest way to eliminate that possibility.

Planning on two kids, probably through adoption.

I'm childfree by choice. I made my decision to never have kids from the moment I learned of the process and haven't changed my mind since.

I want kids, probably girls as I grew up with all brothers but due to the Aspie thing I don't know how possible it would be without lowering my standards to the point where I could not be miserable.

I feel duty bound to the future to raise a child. I don't have to biologically make one, but I feel like I have a duty to the future to leave someone behind who is prepared to do the right things for whatever part of the world they choose to be a part of. I'm not the most impartial person to comment on having a mentally ill or developmentally disabled child, though. I am 23 years old, and both real jobs I have had involve working with the developmentally disabled. I love working with high energy, high intensity kids. I have also worked with students with severe behaviors. I find it enjoyable and endlessly fulfilling to be part of a world that keeps someone who is occasionally or regularly aggressive due to developmental disability or mental illness. Working closely with the family of a girl like January would be kind of a dream job for me. My actual career aspiration is novelist, but I will never stop working or volunteering with DD and/or mentally ill communities. It is a personal passion.

My Dad side of has severe mental issues; my aunt has been in a state hospital before and her son has issues as well. I'm not sure about my Mom side but my Mom has a lot of issue herself, depression, complovie lying, anixty ect. They together they had two daughters,me and my younger sister, my younger sister as normal as any normal 21 year old can be. I however me is a different story. I have ADD, dislextic, depression, anixity, ect. I have two other older sidling with a different dad. One has anixity problems and depression, and some other problems.

I think it all matter how you parent your child. My parents didnt know help to help me cause they were too rap up on there own issues. My just learning how to handle my issues. I think if my parent had understand and gotten help for their problems it would have been better for me.

All child have a change of having some type of problem that a change you take when becoming a parent; how you handle it is what makes the differences.

I don't plan to have any, I also feel Autism is my thing to live with, deal with and try to take advantage of and passing it on knowing its likey to be in a kid of mine is not a good idea, thats if the chances are indeed overly higher and that I imagine depends largely on the partner, thats just my personal opinion though.

I think it's a highly individual thing: some people are cut out for it and some aren't. I get really discouraged when I hear other people in the spectrum say that they don't want to pass ASD to their own children, because they are just perpetuating the stigma ASD carries. ASD does not equal a death sentence.

Honestly: if you want to have a child, just go with it regardless of what abilities or disabilities they may have. Love your child for who they are instead of what they are labelled. I know of a family where all of the members have ASD: they are all very in sync with each other and seem to manage well. The mom and dad are also well-equipped to deal with their daughter as they recognize her own behaviors in themselves.

Personally, I would never have kids, period. Even thinking of the sheer responsibility involved with having them makes me anxious. Also, I need lots of alone time, and with kids I would essentially be robbed of that.

Well I can't have kids biologcially (at least that I'm aware of) but I don't think I'd ever want to be a parent.

I feel like I would be surrendering the center of my life to such a burden. Given the fact that I understand how great it might feel to hold the result of a genetic mixing between me and the love of my life in my hands, I still wouldn't make the decision to have the child. Children never ask to be born, that means I have a duty to make the child's life worthwhile, I would say, even until the very end. That means sacrificing some of my aspirations in order to fulfill the needs of my child. I have too many personal aspirations to want to do that. I see too much potential in my own life to really feel like all of this energy is better spent on another life, even if I could feel the joy through my child, which I'm sure that I could, I feel more value is to be found down this selfish road, so my child shall remain unborn, in a land of complete rest and peace.

I think it would be nice to have a kid but I dont think Ill ever have one because I dont think anybody would ever want a kid from me.