Friends, whats the point...

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I can never understand why my "friends" will not do anything with me even though I make all the effort to get a hold of them and see if they want to hang out. People don't know what they are missing. Facebook is such a drag, most of the time I get no response when I like write on a friends wall like I did 3 weeks ago and got no response from this person just asking how they were doing but I have seen they have been on recently after I posted to their wall.

Whats the point in having friends when they don't want to be apart of my life? Maybe I should just find new people who actually understand how I feel about this but making friends is a difficult thing for me to do. I don't know anyone with AS in CT or the Tri-State area. I would be better off knowing someone with AS just because it might be easier to get along with them and are more willing to be apart of my life than some "normal" person.

I've managed to keep in contact with one or two people from this forum and at the same time can use some new friends. You can PM me if you like.

I was very disappointed when I tried to make contact with other AS people for interaction. Only exchanging information / sharing a specific interest seems to be fruitful, and every other attempt leads to the same outcome of loss, no exceptions.

As for Facebook... People who agree to be added may just be polite, not wanting to offend you and do not intend to maintain any form of contact. It's easy to get depressed over this, but it won't help you out. Make it your "special interest" to scrutinise why exactly things are going wrong for you. Something you do and that might not seem extraordinary to you may strike others as bizarre and repel them.

Then there's that thing that paranoid folks like me tend to ignore - that people might be busy doing something, could forget to respond and don't mean to reject you in the first place.

I thought that was the point of making other AS friends.

I only have a small group of friends that actually understand me for who I am, it's getting those previous people in my life to want to get together or whatever but it almost never works out.

One person is local but is away in PA at school right now, the other one lives in Miami so we just converse via text message. I'd say it's better than nothing, making friends hasn't been easy and therapy didn't work out the first time. I never pursued trying another therapist that could see eye to eye with me. Also almost every meet up group that was ever suggested to me from the previous therapist is during the week in the evening which interferes with my work schedule M-F so i'm basically on my own with this.

I can't understand why finding people in this world is so hard. I live in Connecticut, a small state that has 3.5 million people and it seems like a needle in a haystack. Maybe location isn't everything but someone has to be out there right?

Howabout a cup of coffee on me.

It may not be much, but, it is the best I can do.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt224740.html

Hi I am in South Africa so I can only be a virtual friend - however, you are welcome to PM me and tell me a bit more about yourself and your current interests and what kind of things you like. I aso have very few friends - my best friend lives 1000 km away in Randburg and understands me as I think he's also on the spectrum.

Since my diagnosis, I have identified a number of factors that, though not common to everyone with AS, are more common than in the general population. I am learning so much since I joined WP!

It's 3 a m here so I'm ready for bed soon, but get in touch if possible.

Ross.

There may be some confusion as to what the term 'friend' means in different contexts.

Unless you have established a repoir with someone over time and gotten to know them they aren't actually friends, they are just aquaintences.

It sounds like these are just aquaintences that have not developed into friendships. But that is normal, as in real life few people you meet actually become friends. Its a long and sometimes difficult process to develop friendships. Its something accomplished one at a time, not en masse.

The whole thing bothers me. Ever since I graduated high school, most people left my life and I guess i'm just used to being alone. But with being alone for roughly 8 years since I graduated high school, I want to get back out there but I just don't know the right approach. I just don't want to dwell over this for the rest of my life.

Yay, another Aspie Nutmegger, haha! \m/

I generally have no desire or "need" to have people around me unless they share some particular interest (ok, more like obsession/perseveration ) of mine, they possess information that I currently don't, they possess a skill that I wish I had, but lack (i.e., knowing how to play a musical instrument or how to do abstract math), or I have an overwhelming urge to touch or sleep with them (TMI, I know, but I think this disclosure helps me to make my point... ). I'm sure this all sounds insane or sociopathic, which is why I tend to keep it to myself (well, around NTs, anyway).

im not bothered about having friends. i never have been. now that i'm married to a man that thinks the world of me and really loves my unique ways, i feel even less bothered about not having friends.

however i do have a woman that is quite in my face type thing. aparently she had bad upbringing by a strange dad, and she seems to be a permanent bi-curious person. she used to be lesbian, then didnt want relationships then started fancying men then now she doesnt want any relationships just enjoys flirting around with men. she has lots of male friends but i'm her only female friend. shes good friends with my husband too but she is willing to be good friends with me even more. probably feels sorry for me too but she does like me for who i am.

Hehehehehe...you sure that's it?

I live in CT, it's pretty terrible and unfriendly here.

Aye, that it is. So that's at least 3 of us here, then! Whacked.

I just moved clear across the state, from one of *the* unfriendliest places that I've ever had the displeasure of "living," to a place where - fingers crossed - people are a bit more laid-back and a bit less snotty. We'll see!

Sweet Pea hugs

The only places I'd like to live here are places with a lot of land and no people. Of course you can get better and more land for cheaper and have a better quality of life in about any other New England state.

I kind of live in the woods, i'm from the western part of the state but it's better than the inner city.