A four-year ticking time bomb

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I have given myself until November 27, 2016 to make my autism completely invisible to the outside world, to have a long-term girlfriend, and normal friends -- or I'm killing myself. I don't understand why people wouldn't want to be cured. There's nothing that sucks as bad as living with mild autistic symptoms, especially when you don't have special talents to offer, or special interests to speak of (training myself not to talk about my special interests actually killed the desire to have them eventually) like others do. So I need to be cured. And it has 2 years to happen. Because there's a time in a man's life around age 30 when social awkwardness goes from tolerable and even cute to a few people to just creepy to everyone. And I can't live as a creepy person like all the old guys I see at my aspie meetup group.

I might get slammed by what I tell you....

I hear you totally. But do your research if you absolutely must kill yourself.

80% of attempted suicides leave the person disabled in some way, instead of all the way dead. Which means it takes an average of five attempts before a person who attempts it will finally succumb.

And I don't need to tell you that being Autistic plus having some kind of additional disability on top of that, would be the worst thing in the world.

Try the GAPS diet (my son doesn't bark anymore)

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

[Résumé, by Dorothy Parker]

Ah man, you've got to at least live to see G R.R. Martin's conclusion to A Song of Ice and Fire! Then you'd be, like, a 15-year time bomb based on his seriously slowed output over the last two novels. I think, within 4 years, given hard work and dedication, you can achieve your goals.

I can make it invisible, not totally invisible of course. Since i can remember i have watched another humans actions and reactions so imitating certain action to get the wanted reaction was worked pretty well for me. its like a cure or solution. the best thing would be if people understand and tolerate how you are, but that's the bad thing of being mild.
Oh, and sometimes it is tricky because copying others is not an attitude very accepted.

Obviously I am not going to advise suicide but recommend against it. Also, I'd hope you rule out all other options before really considering it at least. I certainly know the feeling, though I'd settle for a few abnormal friends and don't want a relationship really unless it's with someone who is ok with taking things very slow.

I suppose none of that is much help...feeling that way is part of why I use drugs but of course that is not considered a 'healthy' coping skill so I won't recommend it. I don't see what is wrong with killing the pain in other ways besides suicide though. That is the trouble with goals is, when you can't reach them you feel like sh*t.

Yeah, I think that the best thing would be to find people who are on the outskirts of society who accept you for who you are.

I was lucky because I rebelled against my parents wishes. I chose to go to an arts high school and consequently met a lot of friends who didn't care about fitting in. In fact, the weirder you were, the better. So even though I was undiagnosed, I was able to find people who didn't care about my quirks. I had a lot of fun times there, as well as bad times, but at least I felt like I fit in for a couple of years.

I've also found that many highly intelligent people are like this as well, and will intellectualize things instead of judging you on how you appear. So either group works. I can't really say whether I fit in or if I just found those who accept me for how I am.

Many NTs out there are eccentric as well, and dislike the status quo. I've even found that those with other neurological differences, such as ADHD or bipolar disorder, make good friends as well because they are also used to being different from the norm.

I also live in a diverse city. I don't know how diverse your city is, but have you considered moving?