Do people with asperger's tend to be control freaks?

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I feel like my anxiety and needing predictability in my life causes me to be a total control freak, but it causes a ton of issues in my relationship (my asperger's in general causes issues). When things don't go a certain way, when people do certain things, when I fail at things, or when I'm interrupted from doing something, I get upset by them. I'll usually get abnormally angry and yell at the things I'm frustrated with, then I'll get depressed, and I'll feel like garbage about myself, both for not being able to control my emotions, but for hurting my relationship. She loves me, but she'll never understand what it's like to be this way. I don't understand why I'm like this. My mother is a control freak who likes to micromanage a lot of my life and can never be wrong about anything. Maybe I learned it from her. Is this an aspie thing or do I have some other problems? I need help badly with this!

Sounds more like OCD to myself. It could be ASD, but from what I read you defiantly have some obsessive compulsive tenancies. You could try to tough it out by learning to relax, or if you don't mind going to way of medication you could always talk to your doctor. I personally suggest talking to you doctor. Fighting away anxiety alone is a great feat.

I have similar issues, but I also have a similar mother so, that's good question. However, I've been diagnosed ADHD to and I don't really have the obsessive daily routine that most aspies reference

I'm on a high dose of pain killers for something unrelated. I don't think anything else that would be able to relax me more lol. But I have been diagnosed with OCD as well because I get really bad intrusive thoughts.

I do try to fill my life with as many positive activities as possible so that I stay calm, but it's never enough. I'm thinking of taking up another hobby (I have a lot already though)

Maybe it's those things that aren't a part of my routine that are doing it. It could also be that I'm stuck in a routine that puts me on edge as well.

I thought control freak was more like telling people what to do and having things go your way like telling them what to wear, how to do things, how to spend time with you, what to do in their day time, telling them what to watch on TV, always doing things your way and you force others to do it your way too when they are with you.


I have similar issues too. I had no idea it was an OCD thing. I thought aspies hated interruptions and change in routines and also like things to go the way they plan. They both look the same to me. AS and OCD or else apsies wouldn't get upset when things don't go as planned or change in routine or being interrupted and they wouldn't have to plan things.

Well, I certainly am a control freak.. I hate changes in my routines and need to feel like everything is in order and "organized". I think that's quite common for a lot of Aspies. However, Asperegers' and OCD often manifest together so if you have Aspergers' and feel this way, it could be you have tendencies that could be considered "OCD".

Should I be trying to change this about myself, because nobody in my life seems to want to understand my being an aspie. They just ask hostile questions like "Why do you always get so irritable?", "You can't get upset over everything!". Then I explain that I can't help it and they tell me that I need to learn to control myself. It's a daily thing. This isn't with strangers. It's with my parents and my fiancee.

I sometimes feel the desire to control other people's lives. Not because of insensitivity, but more because of the bitterness I have of me being an Aspie and nobody else around me is. I know it's bad, which is why I get horribly jealous of NTs, yet feel guilty at the same time. It's a very complicated thing to explain. Like I don't want to go out clubbing...but I don't want anyone to either. I want there to be somebody else in my family who struggles with making friends and is similar to me and spend his or her week-ends nights alone in their room. But I know that thinking like that is wrong.

People often say to me ''you can't stop other people from having friends/relationships''. I hate it when people say that to me though. It's one of those things that pushes my buttons, because not always I want to control people's lives. I just sometimes feel isolated or left out when other people are out and about with their mates and lovers and I've got to just do everything on my own because of my lack of ability to make friends. So sometimes I can't help feeling emotions about it. I would have thought NTs would know better of how I am feeling about it all.

I have terrible OCD.

I like to feel a sense of control over my own life, not other people's lives. As I'm a parent, this extends to my daughter's life. But, I don't force her do anything or argue about her not behaving in the way I want her to, it's really just about schooling, etc, just now. I don't like unpredictability, so take charge and make decisions, which other people in the same position could live without making for the time being.

For example, when my daughter was around 2, I had to make applications for pre-school, when she would be 3yrs. I applied to the local nursery, but was told that I would not hear if my daughter had gotten a place until a few weeks before she was going to be starting. I panicked and thought, if she doesn't get into that nursery, she'll probably get a place in the next closest one, which is at the top of a very steep hill. I didn't fancy the thought of pushing a stroller up there in the winter. I wasn't willing to take the chance. So, not long after I submitted the application, I applied to a nursery which definitely had places, but the places were only partly funded. I had to pay the extra, which wasn't much, but everyone else thought I was mad to do that when I might have gotten a free place in my first choice nursery. But, just not knowing where that place was going to be urged me to take the bull by the horns.

My daughter's only 7yrs and won't be going to high school until she's 11yrs. But, already I'm thinking quite a lot about it and I don't think it's just because she has Aspergers and might still need extra support. To add to my worries, the council have decided that the special needs base, at the high school she should be going to, is not working well. They might be turning it into an autism specific base (which might be best for her), but they might get rid of it altogether and the kids will either go to the mainstream (which might work equally well) or the special needs high school. The decision will be made in a year or two and the first lot of kids to be affected will be my daughter's year. Not knowing what's happening and what choices are going to be available is unbelievably frustrating.

I'm controlling but im not trying to be mean. I feel like I need to control things to make myself feel less overwhelmed. Like, if my family is going out to eat, I'd like to pick where we are eating, when we go, and what I'll be eating. It helps me anticipate the change in routine better. I also feel like Joe90 with not wanting to be alone so I get controlling with people. I sometimes try to convince my mom to stay home instead of going to a girls night because I don't want to be alone and her going sometimes messes up my day to day routines. I have OCD but this isn't an OCD thing. My OCD manifests itself with excessive hand washing and I don't do excessive hand washing when my routine gets changed, I just have a meltdown and I jump up and down and flap my hands.

I'm extremely controlling, especially at work but in my defense when I haven't been controlling is when my department fell apart. Sadly, everywhere I have worked my coworkers are complete idiots and can't seem to use more than a few brain cells at a time.

I have been called a control freak at times. And when I get more anxious my OCD gets stronger and I can get that way. But I know people who are real control freaks and I am not like them at all. I think for me it's more of an anxiety thing.

I think this is what they mean when they talk about "rigidity" in the diagnostic criteria for autism. "Control freak" is a more pejorative and colloquial way to say "Aspie rigidity".

I tend to like to be able to control my environment in certain ways and I like the use of routines (which I don't like altered) in order to get things done, but I am not in the least bit controlling when it comes to other people. As long as what they are doing is not directly affecting me (in which case I would try to talk to them to see if they could have it not affect me) then I don't see what business it is of mine what other people are doing unless they are hurting someone. If they are hurting someone I might object to their behaviour.

Otherwise for me its about maintaining my preferences so that I don't feel flustered, disorganised and stressed out.

Ie I like to sit under a duvet when I sit on the couch..I do not wish to change this but others do not have to sit under the duvet with me. I like the same flavoured ice cream on a saturday and the same meal each friday for dinner and so on but other people can eat what and when they like. I do not tell others what to eat and, at 38 years of age, I would prefer it if others do not try to dictate such things to me.