I have had enough.

Post Reply New Topic

For nineteen years, I have lived in a spiritual and psychological hell because of my family. I have attempted suicide twice in the past five years as a result of this. A lesser young man would probably be dead at the point I'm at.

Ever since I was learning to walk, my parents treated me like I was the family screwup. My diagnosis with HFA/Asperger syndrome (and later, depression) did not help. I come from a family with a long history of violence and dysfunction. My father is a pure, unadulterated sociopath. My mother may be narcissistic/borderline with symptoms of bipolar disorder. My grandmother was allegedly once raped and possibly abusive to my mother and uncle (my mother's brother, who currently has liver failure due to years of alcoholism), and hides behind a cheerful facade, insisting that I shut up about what goes on in the family. There's an unspoken rule: The (blank) Code of Silence. What happens in the family, no matter how f****d up, stays there.

On more than one occasion, DSS has nearly been contacted. The thing is my mom and dad are clever, so much so that the law cannot touch them. My father, who claims to have been connected to drug cartels back in the 70s, works as a paramedic, and has many friends in emergency services and the police. My mother works in public housing, and puts on a front of niceness.

Over the years, I have been subjected to severe emotional/psychological torment and neglect. My father has stuck an empty gun in my face, and pulled the trigger in the driveway of one of his clients (he works as a painter, and according to my mom, is a serial adulterer as well). My mother violently tugged on my jaw when my DVD player wasn't working, saying that she had had it with my autism. My father and one of his paramedic friends verbally abused me when I was being wheeled into the ambulance after my second suicide attempt. My parents keep me hooked on Celexa and Abilify to keep me from "acting out". My mother drinks a bit, and wrote a manifesto telling me how much I suck on her computer after I asked her how many drinks she had. I have not been taught proper living skills. I don't know how to financially support myself. My father is profoundly lazy when it comes to helping me out.

In regards to academics, my mother and father hover over me. I'm currently in college, and they are putting unhealthy amounts of pressure on me. My father said: "If you fail this course, you're paying for it." When I try to explain my side of the story, they become violent and profane.

I have had enough. The behavior, the abuse, the lies... they all have to stop.

Sounds like your best option is to try and get out of that environment, sounds terrible. If you are in college there might be resources availible to help which could be worth looking into it would be confidential so its not like the college would let your parents know. But yeah I just don't see any rational way of just coping with it.

I assume you're at least over 18 if you're in college? in which case they don't have any say over you...if they are paying that might make it rather difficult to cut ties so to speak. But there are other ways to afford college if your parents will stop paying if they are unhappy with you though unless you have a direct goal with college I am not so sure it's worth loans and grants because the idea is you pay them back after you find employment with the degree.

The only other possibility is it's not so bad as you think I know even I sometimes see things as way worse then they are at times, but even from what you said here it seems pretty bad.

It is difficult to get out of my house. I'm not allowed to go anywhere on my own, not even for a walk. I'm always encouraged to stay indoors or in my room. I happen to be nineteen

From the looks of it, my college has no therapist there, but I'll keep looking.

This is clearly abuse and they both shall be held liable for their actions towards you. You shouldn't have to be in this position, if you have family near by, I would stay with them and explain your situation. This idea might seem "out there", but you may want to consider filing a civil lawsuit against them for your "pain and suffering".

The thing is, my parents have a strong mental stranglehold on me. Think a drug addict dependent on his dealer. I don't even know how to file a civil suit. I have already explained what I am going through with my aunt (who is awesome and funny btw). She suggested that I contact DSS, but that's a little too risky; there is a strong chance of retribution from my family.

So what are you gonna do?

Well what about college? do you go there on your own? that really does sound like a bad situation I mean you are 19 so legally they are not allowed to disallow you from leaving the house nor can they force you to stay in your room. Also if not therapy, maybe they have help for getting out of those sorts of situations or resources to help you take legal action.....sorry I can't be of much help I don't have much experiance with this sort of thing I just know at my college they had a number you could call and an office to talk about abusive situations and find help out of them.

Thing is it seems your parents want you to remain dependent so that they can continue manipulating and controlling you...they want you to feel like there is no way out so you don't even try. I am not in the same sort of situation but I have issues with feeling sort of helpless about things so I know how difficult it can be to try and find options or even think of ideas of what to do.

I recommend that you get proof of what they're doing to you without letting them know you've gotten such proof. Then take it to the proper authorities. They have homes and stuff for women who are victims of spousal abuse, so I can't imagine they wouldn't be able to help you too.

locked at member's request