Do you think you're intimidating?

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I'm diagnosed with Aspergers - my husband is not. He knows I have difficulty in social settings however he has never expressed his concern to me until two days ago. He basically told me I frequently come across as intimidating and he is afraid to tell me things alot because I might accuse him of doing something wrong or I might get upset. He says its not the things I say rather, it's the "tone" of my voice. I felt hurt and upset when he told me this. For the past two days I have been limiting what I say to him and to others out of fear that I might come across as intimidating or off-putting. Has anyone ever been told they come across as intimidating?

No, I KNOW I'm intimidating.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I think it's sometimes part of the whole theory of mind / empathy package that we lack.

I especially have trouble at work when people are idiots. I've learned to change my communication style and approach, drastically, but it's taken a lot of work and I'm still not sure other people trust me not to bark.

Actually, I've always gotten the impression people find me less intimidating than most people... at least in person, and in most situations. I don't generally approach other people, and I'm usually not very social when they approach me, but even so I get approached by random strangers fairly often when I'm out, and I was often the person people came to for help in school (after highschool at least) and at work. I didn't socialize much, but people always seemed comfortable approaching me and I've gotten the impression I come across as very non-threatening and non-confrontational.

I guess it can go either way, depending on the person -- some come across as threatening despite peaceful intentions, others come across as harmless even when they're angry.

I don't think I am

yes and it's a good thing, NT can't be trusted to respect someone who's vulnerable or just simply different. Being intimidating is a new thing I picked up because apparently I'll have the same number of real, trustworthy friends whether or not I treat the average slob like a criminal

Maybe boring but not intimidating

Hmm, interesting... At the gym where I worked until very recently, many members, male and female, told me point blank that I'm intimidating. I dunno what, if anything, I can do about it (especially as I don't understand what I'm doing to *be* "intimidating" in the first place!)...

Yes

I've been told I'm scary when I lose my temper and I've been called aggressive

If that's what it takes to keep people off my back that's what it takes!

If people rub me up the wrong way...yes.

Which happens a lot at work. I avoid social interactions because I will lose my rag often.

Not really but at least people don't see me as a pushover either. I've been sticking up for myself more lately

People say I look busy

Probably to some. I'm tall, pudgy, and with an extremely short crew cut and always a blank expression on my face. Put together, this might be intimidating for those used to boisterous Brad Pitt clones.

I also am prone to (not intentionally) dominating some conversations on subjects I find myself knowledgeable in, so that might also contribute to an intimidating demeanor.

Classmates I've had in the past have told me that I'm intimidating in the classroom because apparently I sound really intelligent when I answer a professor's question. Sometimes people are also afraid to come running with me, especially in bad weather, though that may be more their laziness than my being intimidating. I think people, Aspies or not, are just scared of people who are better than them at stuff.

Only in an academic setting.

I'm anything but physically intimidating.