Back after a long break.

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Hi.

I figured since I am in my early 40's this would be a good place for this post.

Back in 2008 I joined this website when I became aware that I had AS. I stayed on here for over a year and a half, but then lost interest.

I think one of the reasons I lost interest in this website at the time was the fact I entered a serious relationship (they can take so much out of me).

Sometimes leaving something is healthy, but I did miss this place.

One of the things I loved so much about this place was the fact that I could come here, be myself, and unlike other places NOT be attacked/bullied.

Another thing about this place (unlike Facebook) is that people on here would be direct in answers but helpful/polite at the same time. Maybe it is just me, but Aspies seem to speak their own language. Where NT's think of cold logic, Aspies can see clarity -at least I do.

Well, for various reasons I have decided to start coming back here on a regular basis. I feel safe here.

When I was here last, I tried not to talk about my problems or issues because I didn't want to bother people or just seem negative. I was hoping to be positive with others and perhaps have some of that rub off to help. That was a mistake on my part. It backfired and looking back on it, I think some took my views as being arrogant. That I am sorry about and wish I could change it, but the past is the past (though it stills bothers me for I have a hard time with empathy).

Over the next few weeks, I plan on posting a lot of things that I am dealing with. I have no friends where I live now and I am dealing with a lot of things. I will explain in the various posts either in this section or The Haven, but I need some help/advice.

I'm glad to be back and I hope things go better this time.

***

Since I am posting this in the adult life section, it would be proper for me to state one of the things that has bothered me.

I mentioned I am in my early 40's (I'll be 42 in a few weeks). I technically have never been able to live on my own. It had bothered me a lot. I feel ashamed about it because I feel I have used my parents (I have an excellent relationship with them) and now my wife for a place to live. Though I have a college degree, served in the military, and did hold one of my jobs for over 8 years, I still either lived at home (I moved out at 38 when I meet my wife), had the military house me, or now I live in the house my wife built before we meet. I have never had the chance to buy my own place and it was something that I had dreamed off for a very long time. Looking back on it, I can see I was intimidated by the whole house searching process.

Though I am married now, I still find myself dreaming of my own place where I live alone and the way I want to. (Am I being selfish???)

Anyone relate?

Thank you for reading.

Welcome back to the Wrong Planet. Looking forward to your posts.

I had a windfall when I was 27 years old and bought a piece of land with all the money. I managed to build a small 440 square foot house on it by the time I was 32, plumbing would come later.

This was considered a poor decision by all those involved with me.
I am 60 now and even though I never got running water (pipes scare me) I still live here. It is the best thing ever to happen. I do not get along well with groups.

It is not selfish to desire happyness.

Welcome back. I'm a fairly new member, but I really like the presence of long-term members around. I'm hoping to become one myself. I agree that it's nice to be able to be yourself without being attacked.

I honestly don't think you should feel bad about what you described. Living with your parents is not "using them". I'm pretty sure that your parents were actually happy to have you around though all parents do worry about the future of their children. There might be some cultural difference, but I find this culture, in which kids are kicked out of the house at late teen or so and those still living with parents at older ages feel uncomfortable about it, is very puzzling to me. I think it's perfectly fine. If I lived in my country, I would like to live with my parents.

Also if you are married, you are meant to live with your partner. It's all about sharing and caring between partners. So, your living in your wife's house is just part of it and you really have no reason to feel bad about it. Your wife happened to have built a house before she met you. That's all.

I don't mean to brush off what's bothering you as trivial, but I just really want to say I can't see anything wrong in what you did/are doing.

I'm not in a relationship, but I can relate to you about wanting to have your own place where you are happily alone. I think that sentiment is very common. After all they say a man's home is his castle.

Any way, I hope to see many of your posts. Maybe you can post in General Autism Discussion and Random Discussion, too. They are very active. I guess you already know that. I don't think you need to hesitate to post your problems/issues.

Welcome back! I relate - very much so. I feel that way exactly and I am going through a struggle with it - we shall see how it all turns out.

Thank you for the warm welcome! It sure does feel good to be back.

Please excuse the long delay in replying back. I have limited internet access at times and it may take me 1-2 weeks before replying.

I am writing up my first post now, but it may be a week before I finish it (it is rather long and I may break it down for an easier read).

Welcome back