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luvsterriers
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10 Mar 2013, 9:02 am

I'm in my 30s and had some questions. For you men, do you like women who like to drink and like to see them get drunk? Do you like to see women in tight clothing? I have seen various music videos where the women are very pretty, skinny, and wear tight clothing or seductive intimates. Where would you take a woman for your first date? Is intimacy really important on the first date?


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10 Mar 2013, 9:08 am

No, in fact I avoid women who think that's the definition of a 'fun time' or whatever.
No, I don't like women who dress in these new ways. It's only empowering several agendas (anti-feminism, rape culture etc)
And I'd also like to add, when these women say "Oh I dress this way because I like it" - BS. You like the attention, specifically the sexual attention. Why do I want a woman by my side who gets off on other men looking at her?
Think I'm wrong? If all men died tomorrow, would (straight) women wear makeup, wear high heels, tight clothing etc?
I could write pages about this, I'm gonna leave it at that.

I've never been on a "first date" despite having had relationships..
I would imagine not, if you mean physically intimate.



ArrantPariah
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10 Mar 2013, 10:02 am

luvsterriers wrote:
I'm in my 30s and had some questions. For you men, do you like women who like to drink and like to see them get drunk?

Not in the least.

luvsterriers wrote:
Do you like to see women in tight clothing?

Interesting question. I'd rather see women without clothing. Tight clothing is okay, but it generally doesn't look good on chubby women.

luvsterriers wrote:
I have seen various music videos where the women are very pretty, skinny, and wear tight clothing or seductive intimates.

Do you have any examples?

luvsterriers wrote:
Where would you take a woman for your first date?

Maybe a stage play or a classical music performance.

luvsterriers wrote:
Is intimacy really important on the first date?

No point in beating around the bush.



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10 Mar 2013, 10:03 am

What men prefer varies as much as what any other gender wants.


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meems
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10 Mar 2013, 10:07 am

uwmonkdm wrote:
No, in fact I avoid women who think that's the definition of a 'fun time' or whatever.
No, I don't like women who dress in these new ways. It's only empowering several agendas (anti-feminism, rape culture etc)
And I'd also like to add, when these women say "Oh I dress this way because I like it" - BS. You like the attention, specifically the sexual attention. Why do I want a woman by my side who gets off on other men looking at her?
Think I'm wrong? If all men died tomorrow, would (straight) women wear makeup, wear high heels, tight clothing etc?
I could write pages about this, I'm gonna leave it at that.

I've never been on a "first date" despite having had relationships..
I would imagine not, if you mean physically intimate.


I'm confused, are you saying women dressing in specific ways contributes to rape culture and is anti-feminist?

As well, I do like wearing skimpy clothing, which is why I generally do it alone in my home, I LOVE some of the tiny dresses and mini-skirts in my wardrobe but I know there are always going to be men who have no concept of personal boundaries and are going to assume my body is public property just because they can see it, so I don't wear these things in public. Sometimes I wear these clothes under a cardigan(cleavage shirts) in public and only take off the outer layers of clothing while I'm alone.

So some women DO dress that way because they like it.


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10 Mar 2013, 10:18 am

i dont mind woman drinking, as long as she is a social drinker; i am one myself.
however, i do not like to see them (or anyone, for that matter) get drunk, that is going too far and shows a lack of self-control.

with the clothing, i can appriciate tight clothing, assuming the person has the body for it, but "singers" and "dancers" are going too far, too little clothes, no self-respect in my eyes.

a first date... i have no idea really. i would probarbly go to a comedy show, humour is important to me, i might as well test hers early on.
intimacy, emotional yes please, but i can wait for physical intimacy, no need to give it up too early



uwmonkdm
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10 Mar 2013, 10:21 am

meems wrote:

I'm confused, are you saying women dressing in specific ways contributes to rape culture and is anti-feminist?

As well, I do like wearing skimpy clothing, which is why I generally do it alone in my home, I LOVE some of the tiny dresses and mini-skirts in my wardrobe but I know there are always going to be men who have no concept of personal boundaries and are going to assume my body is public property just because they can see it, so I don't wear these things in public. Sometimes I wear these clothes under a cardigan(cleavage shirts) in public and only take off the outer layers of clothing while I'm alone.

So some women DO dress that way because they like it.


I'm saying that women dressing in tight/short etc. clothing gives not only ammunition to those spouting out, as you have just now, arguments along the lines of "she was dressed like she wanted it" etc.... but it is degrading.
I have no issue with a woman dressing however she wants, it is her right. In fact, I will probably be looking if she's showing off cleavage or wearing yoga pants, BUT if I am looking for a girlfriend/wife/partner whatever, I don't appreciate her dressing like she's looking for male attention. Even if that is not her goal (however unlikely I believe), I would prefer not to be with "that girl" that every guy is drooling over because of the way she's dressed. If they're going to drool over her because of her natural beauty, then sure, that's to be expected.
But so many women just fall into this category of 'plastic' for me - fake face (so much makeup it's not even their face anymore), fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake boobs, fake lips, fake personality. It really sickens me to be honest.
Of course it's not really their fault, they're brainwashed to believe this is what men want - I'm not really sure who those men are, but they're not the kind of people I want in my life either.

And I get what you're saying, the same reason I sit at home in boxers.. but you're not going out in public like that, and showing modesty, so thumbs up. 8)



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10 Mar 2013, 10:27 am

uwmonkdm wrote:
meems wrote:

I'm confused, are you saying women dressing in specific ways contributes to rape culture and is anti-feminist?

As well, I do like wearing skimpy clothing, which is why I generally do it alone in my home, I LOVE some of the tiny dresses and mini-skirts in my wardrobe but I know there are always going to be men who have no concept of personal boundaries and are going to assume my body is public property just because they can see it, so I don't wear these things in public. Sometimes I wear these clothes under a cardigan(cleavage shirts) in public and only take off the outer layers of clothing while I'm alone.

So some women DO dress that way because they like it.


I'm saying that women dressing in tight/short etc. clothing gives not only ammunition to those spouting out, as you have just now, arguments along the lines of "she was dressed like she wanted it" etc.... but it is degrading.
I have no issue with a woman dressing however she wants, it is her right. In fact, I will probably be looking if she's showing off cleavage or wearing yoga pants, BUT if I am looking for a girlfriend/wife/partner whatever, I don't appreciate her dressing like she's looking for male attention. Even if that is not her goal (however unlikely I believe), I would prefer not to be with "that girl" that every guy is drooling over because of the way she's dressed. If they're going to drool over her because of her natural beauty, then sure, that's to be expected.
But so many women just fall into this category of 'plastic' for me - fake face (so much makeup it's not even their face anymore), fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake boobs, fake lips, fake personality. It really sickens me to be honest.
Of course it's not really their fault, they're brainwashed to believe this is what men want - I'm not really sure who those men are, but they're not the kind of people I want in my life either.

And I get what you're saying, the same reason I sit at home in boxers.. but you're not going out in public like that, and showing modesty, so thumbs up. 8)


I'm not showing modesty, I'm showing fear, fear because a lot of men make stupid, ignorant, sexist assumptions about WHY women dress the way they do, assuming it's an open invitation, and then idiots make arguments that dressing that way is showing that you want sexual attention and thus deserve sexual harassment/assault.

You're literally describing the biggest part of rape culture in society at large, as your viewpoint. So thumbs up to you, bro.


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10 Mar 2013, 10:31 am

Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she said like "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*



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10 Mar 2013, 10:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she was "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*


I THINK 0C is 32F... it was 32F here a few weeks ago and I wore a dress for the first time in a long time and I almost CRIED it was so f*****g cold. The weather app on my phone is a liar and a traitor. :(


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10 Mar 2013, 10:37 am

meems wrote:
I'm not showing modesty, I'm showing fear, fear because a lot of men make stupid, ignorant, sexist assumptions about WHY women dress the way they do, assuming it's an open invitation, and then idiots make arguments that dressing that way is showing that you want sexual attention and thus deserve sexual harassment/assault.

You're literally describing the biggest part of rape culture in society at large, as your viewpoint. So thumbs up to you, bro.


I didn't say they deserve sexual harassment and assault, you've made that jump from what I wrote... I'd never say that.
My only point is that I see a woman who dresses modestly as someone who respects themselves, and has a lot more to offer than cleavage or whatever, and that's the kind of woman I would prefer over one who dresses provocatively regardless of the intention really.

My only controversial point is the exact thing you've mentioned - that women are conscious that we do not live in a perfect utopian society, and dressing in certain ways can get you into trouble with certain men. I'm not saying it's deserved, but it happens, I don't make up 'reality.
With that said, sometimes it really makes no difference what she's wearing with these kinds of men, but it certainly doesn't help. And in a perfect society, a woman would walk around naked without fear of harassment or rape, but that's not the world we live in unfortunately.



Last edited by uwmonkdm on 10 Mar 2013, 10:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Mar 2013, 10:38 am

meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she was "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*


I THINK 0C is 32F... it was 32F here a few weeks ago and I wore a dress for the first time in a long time and I almost CRIED it was so f***ing cold. The weather app on my phone is a liar and a traitor. :(


When I've asked "wouldn't you feeling cold?" and she said she's used to it and that some girls don't feel cold when they wear these stuff in winter O.o

*facepalm of puzzlement*



meems
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10 Mar 2013, 10:42 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she was "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*


I THINK 0C is 32F... it was 32F here a few weeks ago and I wore a dress for the first time in a long time and I almost CRIED it was so f***ing cold. The weather app on my phone is a liar and a traitor. :(


When I've asked "wouldn't you feeling cold?" and she said she's used to it and that some girls don't feel cold when they wear these stuff in winter O.o

*facepalm of puzzlement*


I jumped around and kept saying "MY VAGINA IS COLD" and really embarrassed my ex-girlfriend. She was facepalming, but not out of puzzlement.


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meems
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10 Mar 2013, 10:47 am

uwmonkdm wrote:
meems wrote:
I'm not showing modesty, I'm showing fear, fear because a lot of men make stupid, ignorant, sexist assumptions about WHY women dress the way they do, assuming it's an open invitation, and then idiots make arguments that dressing that way is showing that you want sexual attention and thus deserve sexual harassment/assault.

You're literally describing the biggest part of rape culture in society at large, as your viewpoint. So thumbs up to you, bro.


I didn't say they deserve sexual harassment and assault, you've made that jump from what I wrote... I'd never say that.
My only point is that I see a woman who dresses modestly as someone who respects themselves, and has a lot more to offer than cleavage or whatever, and that's the kind of woman I would prefer over one who dresses provocatively regardless of the intention really.

My only controversial point is the exact thing you've mentioned - that women are conscious that we do not live in a perfect utopian society, and dressing in certain ways can get you into trouble with certain men. I'm not saying it's deserved, but it happens, I don't make up 'reality.
With that said, sometimes it really makes no difference what she's wearing with these kinds of men, but it certainly doesn't help. And in a perfect society, a woman would walk around naked without fear of harassment or rape, but that's not the world we live in unfortunately.


The problem isn't the clothing, it's the attitude that the clothing indicates something about her self-respect.

The way women dress shouldn't be based on what men think, and men shouldn't think it is, and it's problematic to assume a woman's clothing indicates how she views herself and thus how she should be treated.

Do you not see the connection? It's not that women shouldn't dress a specific way because of how men might act, it's that men shouldn't act that way, and that's the problem, not the clothing.


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10 Mar 2013, 10:49 am

meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she was "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*


I THINK 0C is 32F... it was 32F here a few weeks ago and I wore a dress for the first time in a long time and I almost CRIED it was so f***ing cold. The weather app on my phone is a liar and a traitor. :(


When I've asked "wouldn't you feeling cold?" and she said she's used to it and that some girls don't feel cold when they wear these stuff in winter O.o

*facepalm of puzzlement*


I jumped around and kept saying "MY VAGINA IS COLD" and really embarrassed my ex-girlfriend. She was facepalming, but not out of puzzlement.



IF I was your ex-gf I would tell you "want me to heat it up?" :P

*faceplam of wickedness*



meems
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10 Mar 2013, 10:51 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
meems wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I was with a date in the park, it was very cold back then, almost 0 C; several of girls wearing very micro skirts/shorts passed by while both of us were wearing our thick jackets as we were freezing. She looked at them too (well..she's bit too duh) and she was "oh, everyone is wearing short today" ; I was like "aren't they feeling cold?!", she responded: "I would have worn one of mine if I knew it was trendy this winter".

*facepalm of awkwardness*


I THINK 0C is 32F... it was 32F here a few weeks ago and I wore a dress for the first time in a long time and I almost CRIED it was so f***ing cold. The weather app on my phone is a liar and a traitor. :(


When I've asked "wouldn't you feeling cold?" and she said she's used to it and that some girls don't feel cold when they wear these stuff in winter O.o

*facepalm of puzzlement*



I jumped around and kept saying "MY VAGINA IS COLD" and really embarrassed my ex-girlfriend. She was facepalming, but not out of puzzlement.



IF I was your ex-gf I would tell you "want me to heat it up?" :P

*faceplam of wickedness*



I would say that to a girlfriend now if she said that, if I had a girlfriend.

*facepalm of loneliness*


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