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Should people lower their standards?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2013, 7:26 am

Zinnel wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
People rarely lower their standards, what most people do is they just learn what it is they really want.

Not everyone can be everything at once. The funny thing is we often say people have lowered their standards when they start going out with people we see as unattractive or under their league.

You see its not really them who make their standard but us or society thats making the standard for them. Now however, people who are genuinely unhappy in a relationship but continue to stay in it out of fear of being alone have lowered their own standards.



I know 3 real-life cases:

A christian girl literally said: "I will never date a non-christian"; she ended up dating later on with a Muslim guy.

A Muslim girl literally said: "I will never date someone who's not Muslim and Arab" - she ended up dating a Christian Armenian.

A guy friend literally said: "I don't like chubby girls at all" - he got married with a woman 2x his size.

Standards my ass lol.


But were they just reiterating what their society/culture had told them to want? Coming from a christian background myself I could easily see a person saying "I will never date a non-christian", but that not being what it is they really want in a parter.



Surely they did.



TheygoMew
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15 Mar 2013, 1:15 pm

Great responses. Some people do have less than realistic demands of other people. In which case it isn't lower their standards but getting a taste of reality.



mds_02
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15 Mar 2013, 1:25 pm

On the one hand, I do think some people have ridiculous unrealistic standards.

On the other hand, if I felt that my partner was lowering their standards in order to be with me, I'd feel humiliated and end the relationship immediately.



nessa238
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15 Mar 2013, 1:32 pm

it depends which standards you are talking about

In morals, general behaviour - I've done this many times and regretted it!

In looks less often as you either fancy someone or you don't

Saying that though I can be obsessed with a person but if someone I like more comes along that initial obsession will vanish



BlueAbyss
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15 Mar 2013, 1:46 pm

Standards for what? For appearance, for weight, for behavior? Each person values different things differently. If someone seems to have high standards, they may have good reason, or they may not. But it's up to them to determine what they can live with and what they can't.

There are standards that some people I know have that I find unreasonable, but if that's what they need, that's up to them.

The only one whose standards you have any control over or any say about, and should, are your own.


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