New & Hoping to find helpful info here :)

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Hello
I'm a 40-something married Ohio woman & mother of 2 boys who has long (always!) known that something wasn't right with my social skills & behavior. I've witnessed that strange look people give me when they've been around me for more than a few minutes, and that glazed look in their eyes when I've talked for too long about my interests. I've always wondered what was wrong with my behavior that put people off so strongly. I've recently learned about Aspergers and BAM!! I identified SO SO strongly with the traits that I think I am definitely on the right track in identifying my issues & perhaps gaining some information on how I can help myself even at this mid stage in my life.
Writing here is totally outside of my comfort zone, but I am feeling brave for one reason....my oldest son. He is 21 now, and I have always known (and worried about the fact) that he is just like me. He walked on his toes as a toddler, never tolerated social situations or large family gatherings even as a baby (he would cry in misery until we were safely back in our quiet home!) had delayed speech followed by stuttering at the end of his words, has an aversion to noises, goes into upset-panic-mode when people stop by unannounced, hates when his activities (or quiet times) are interrupted, has few friends, has a flat affect/response to things, spends hours on end with whatever his latest obsessions are, etc, etc, etc.... I'm sure the traits sound familiar to you here. They sure are familiar to me.....it is like a script of my life being played out again in his! We are also both very book-smart and scored good grades in school (especially science and math).
I'm hoping that by joining this site I will be able to discover where to start in getting help for the both of us (especially in how to eventually approach him with the idea that Asperger's is a possibility.) I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and very unsure on where to go from here, but I had to write this all down before this "brave moment" passed. My son is so bright and I want to insure he has the very best chances in life! It breaks my heart to see him so obviously uncomfortable when it comes to stepping out into life. I haven't been able to do this for myself until now...when I see that it could make a huge difference for him! And to be honest, I'm tired of hiding out in my home and avoiding social situations (and my husband is tired of trying to get me to step out that door, although I think he is secretly relieved when I don't go to work functions or social occassions with him because I think I sometimes embarrass him!)
But that's it for now. I'll hit send and hope that this strikes a chord with someone out there. I do secretly fear that no one will respond, but I'm willing to take a chance. I've felt rejected and out of place for so long that it wouldn't be anything new to be left standing alone in the social silence that has plagued me for so long.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, RightGirl. (Sounds like one of those contradictory country songs doesn't it?) Anyway, you'll like the forum. Lots of places to venture and discover.

I think you're onto something there with your forum name, when you put it together with the name of the forum! "Right girl, wrong planet". How empowering!

I'm pleased to meet you, and I want to thank you for your post; every time I think maybe I was imagining things, and maybe I'm just a faux Aspie, somebody says something about their own symptoms or those of someone they know and love which validates me too again. I didn't constantly walk on my toes, but I can remember doing that at times when I felt tense or nervous. And I did much prefer to be at home.

If I understand correctly, I think many NTs see the point of conversation as being to make a good social connection with someone, so it moves topic to topic pretty quickly, taking a survey of everything that each person likes to talk about. With us however, the point of the conversation becomes the topic itself right off the bat, and I always feel compelled to completely finish talking about whatever it is too.

I don't think this is bad, just different. It can be a challenge for people to adapt to each other socially, but I think it can be done, so never give up hope.

Greetings RightGirl and welcome to the Wrong Planet.

I hope I'm replying to this thread properly! It's my first try, so forgive me if this goes awry
Thank you all for the warm welcome! ThetaIn3D, I love your take on social conversation...I think it's right on the money. It's so helpful to hear things like this...it helps make me more aware of what I'm saying to others in verbal conversations. I totally agree that "we" (assuming now that I probably belong in the "we" category)....yes, "we" like to talk about a topic to the end....at times I think I tend to talk a subject to death (LOL!)
I'm very glad I received a reply so quickly...and so pleased you seem to appreciate my name choice for this forum. I think I may have found my first comfortable Internet home

Sweet welcomes to WPea



Mick and Peahawk

Thank you for your kind reply RightGirl, I'm new here too of course, but it's a very well developed community and it has every bit of potential to be a good place. I know part of that is what we contribute to it, and all I can say is you bring a lot of warmth with you and brighten up the place just by being here. So it's all off to a great start! I'm so glad I was able to offer something helpful about conversation, and hope to absorb a lot of the forum's collective wisdom. I am excited to interact with other Aspies and I'm glad you're here! I hope this really does make for a comfortable internet home for you.