How do you stay positive about your child's future?

Post Reply New Topic

Oh, (((((jennifer54))))) so sorry for your son's situation. You all have had a rough go, yes? So sorry about your bitter divorce and the aftermath.

For those of us on the spectrum, turmoil is just especially hard to deal with as evidenced with your own son. In a sense, he is the 'canary in the coal-mine.' Anyway, now that the hard part is over, your situation will get better. All the best to you and your son.

More than certainly, we have hope for the future - in fact, maybe we are the future.

Reading threw the responses here I can not think to myself wow Really lady's . We have a 15 year old he has aspergers . Did not get know what it was he had till he was 9 . We Knew there was something going on but did not know what it was he had . Being older parents I think we have a lot more patients then when we where younger . We learn from our mistakes we made with our other kids none of who has aspergers . When he was in kindergarten They wanted to put in in a special ed class . We would not let them, told them that only in the areas where he needs the extra help . That summer in between kindergarten and 1st grade We where told by a friend of his older sister that every day he was getting bullied on the play ground and in the hall of the school . Our son never told us about any of this . When I talked to the school before they went back to school about this the response I got was They want to put him in special ed all day and they could not watch every one on the play ground so oh well I guess on the bullying .
I Found a charter school that I got him into . They have no bullying rule it was a very structured school . The 1st 2 weeks where curtsey camp . They learned and practice how to walk down the hall in a straight line no touching others . How to talk to teacher and others with respect . Very structured school it was . He did better there but was still having problems with his reading . He was couple of years below his grade level . He was having a break down at school a couple times a month . They would call me and I could talk him down over the phone .
When we found out that he had aspergers . The school really helped us with him , For 2 years he had a teacher that was his helper in class . Mr heart was his 1st one he had and he came up with a chart on how Chaz acted when he was going into a break down . So when he saw Chaz stating to have a break down he would ask Chaz to point out on chart where he was at on the chart at that point and what he needs to do get to back to where he needs to be . Rather it was to take a break or he just needed help on what he was working on at that point . It made a huge differt in Chaz They did not have to call me no more about him breaking down at school they figured out how to handle it when it came up . With all the help he has gotten from the schools he has been in over the years he is now in 9th grade and is reading at 12th grade level . His math he is at a collage level . They are going to put him into honor Classes next year so he is more challenge. I look at my son and I see and great future for him . He is a Very care loving smart person . yes he has some social skill problem but we have him in a group with kids with aspergers they get together for a pizza and game night once a month . They have no problem playing game with each other they have fun .
We also had Chas seeing a psychologist she was a expert dealing with aspergers . Her dad has it and her brother does . They both are professional . She told Chaz that you know I would rather Fly in plane with a pilot that has aspergers than one that does not because people with aspergers do great at what they do because they just keep focus on what they are doing they are great at it . She said same as a surgeon I would rather have one that has aspergers than one that does not . So we have always told our son he can do what ever he wants to in life . He does not look at it as a disability It just him Chaz he is what he is . We could not be more proud of the young man he is becoming . We still every once in a while you can see him getting stressed but we have learned how to talk or act so it does not go into a full break down . But the most we usually get is when we ask him to do something is he will kick his one leg a couple of time as he walks off to do it lmao we can handle the leg thing our other kids did alot worse when they where teens lol . So do all you can do get them all the help you can now fight for there rights it can get better with the right help .So I see a good future for our son . Just give them lots of love and power hugs work great to

I was just recently diagnosed with Aspergers (at age 50).

I had a terrible, unhappy childhood. As a young adult, I vowed to never get married or have kids. I certainly did not want my kids to experience the same pain I did growing up.

Well, that all changed after I met my wife. As having a family was very important to her.

Looking back, the pain I experienced as both a child and an adult can be attributed to me trying to live the life of a neurotypical. My parents tried to raise me as a neurotypical child. I, myself, tried to live a neurotypical life as an adult. It was painful, as I was not successful.

I was fortunate that my wife has been very understanding. She, by and large, understands who I am (my essence) and allows me to be who I am.

Anyhow, my belief is, that if the expectations were set differently. Of who I was. Of what I could be. Life would have been easier and much more straightforward.

We need to accept and rejoice in who we are and do our best to become the best we can be. Whatever that is.

I currently have 2 kids. Both teens. I suspect one may be an Aspie. I do my best to guide both of them based upon who they are.

My husband and I had awful childhoods (bullying for me, bullying and abuse for him), after some chaotic teen years we both turned out reasonably well-adjusted. We both had jobs, our own apartments, some friends, etc. Then we met each other and have been happily married (mostly, a few flare ups, but nothing lasting or unresolved) for almost seven years now.

My father is retired, but I'm certain he's on the spectrum. He taught himself nuclear physics, and managed to work his way into a high paying position despite his inability to have a polite conversation. He won several awards, and held a number of patents for his inventions/discoveries. My mother has unusual behavior, she doesn't socialize with adults, just animals and kids. They've been married nearly forty years, have a nice house, and seem content to garden and care for their billion (fixed) rescued stray cats. They're happy.

A lot of the scientists, especially physicists, I've met over the years were almost certainly somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. I think the key is to just find your niche. If you want friends, you can have friends, you just have to find the right people.

We are having rough times, now, but I have to stay positive because how else can I keep doing what I have to do? I don't have the luxury to wallow in it, though sometimes I really want to when it gets bad.

So, I think about the good things, because they do exist, and because at least I have choices. Will it get better? Will it get worse? I don't know. It was better, so I have to believe that we can get back there. If not, I still have the capacity to protect my son from himself, though I do not know for how long.

In a different place, if I only had a Hobson's choice, I would feel differently, but I would still have to think positively despite my intrinsic nature not to. Because I have to make things work, and when I feel hopeless I cannot function.

Oh ASDmommy, I agree with you a hundred percent!