Have you ever been burned by someone you trusted?

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Especially, by someone you thought knew, understood and accepted you? Did it come as a shock?

(This happened to me several times. I thought people cared about me and they stopped caring. The latest time this happened was with an uncle (he was also a mentor/confidante) a year ago; I told him the deepest details of my life, he even understood my social difficulties, but suddenly he basically told me to **** off. I don't know what caused the sudden change, but it caused me to seriously question my own self worth... )

"Friends", Girlfriends, Co-workers, Fellow students.
It happens to everyone, eventually you learn to be selective of who you trust.

Yes, I have. Someone I thought was a friend and I confided in suddenly changed his attitude. Many people's bad-mouthing me seems to have convinced him that I'm a bad person. Now I'm not capable of trusting anyone. I think I can only trust my parents and siblings.

I still think you shouldn't let others' judgment of you affect you. I know it's easy to say. As long as you know you are a good person, what others think really shouldn't matter.

Yeah, by my parents. I used to be quite naive about it but unfortunately I'm quite hesitant who I trust now.

I stopped trusting people and I still get burned.

yes by a case worker I had she was all friendly and wanting to help then I found out later she wrote some nasty things about me in my files I was so angry I swore if I ever see her again I'll tell her what I think of her.

Yep, and the last time has played in my over and over in my head for a decade. ("What's the harm?" That's the harm.) My trust in humans, beyond even my conscious will to do otherwise, was obliterated for good by that. Whenever I feel like I want to trust someone I feel ill and the memories come back.

It almost always seems to happen to me in a "never-ending cycle". I befriend someone, stay friends with them for around a year and a half to the max, and then they do something that crosses the line and breaks my trust in them - rinse and repeat. Some of these things my past friends have done has left some emotional scars on my life that still haunt me to this day - like earlier this school year some of my "friends" pushed me into a severe meltdown that got me hospitalized for a short while due to people thinking I was suffering a seizure. I haven't wanted to talk to any of those students since.

I sometimes have the same problem with my parents, however it's never anything drastic. It's just the simple "I'm mad at you and don't want to talk to you anymore" feeling that eventually goes away after venting long enough.

Big time huge, recently. Mainly I'm distant enough and keep things at such a surface level, no one gets the chance. I have a cousin who's like a brother. But he's a manipulative type of individual. He really back stabbed me, yanked the rung out from under me, betrayed me... however you want to put it. I'll never trust him again. I'll never let him get very close to me again. He's still family and I still love him like a sibling. I know he's got some psych problems too. But I'll never ever trust him again, that's for sure. I made that abundantly clear to him. He's since moved out of state. I have a feeling I'll rarely see him from now on, like with a lot of other family members.

I'm really sorry about what happened to you. I know how deeply that hurts. Someone once wrote here that it seems like all NT's are sociopaths, at least to a degree. I sometimes think that must be true.

Keep in mind you said "self worth". You are worth a lot to yourself. That's what matters.

I'm not NT, but I am objective. Sociopaths come in all neurological varieties. Don't forget the percentage of NTs in society is much higher than that of neuro-A-typicals.

Yes, a number of times

The last time recently. I realised the person I'd been seeing for about year had probably only shown interest in me as a source of money and sex. I lent and gave him a considerable amount of money, the last amount £100, which he was meant to be paying back but after rows we've separated permanently and I know this suits him down to the ground as he gets to keep the money.

I felt very used, disrespected and humiliated but I have to see it as a lesson learned and move on - what else can you do?

To not expect most people to let you down in some way at some point is unrealistic but you can do a lot to keep manipulators and users at bay if you trust your gut instinct I think. I stupidly didn't listen to mine and suffered the consequences

Oh yes, too many times been violated. And they wonder why i now trust no one.

Yes. It's hard not to blame myself for trusting and I don't get over it easily at all.

"Normal" people will blatantly and convincingly lie to your face about something that to you doesn't even seem like a big deal or outrageous, lets say you ask a lifelong friend to borrow $100 dollars for something vitally important and he says sure no problem bud. You take this at face value, seems totally reasonable, and you build up things that count on it being true.

Then when you go for the money at the agreed on time, they will laugh and say oh come on man you didn't really think I would give it to you did you? I was just bullshitting to save you from feeling bad. Your entire world falls apart as you will no longer be able to get that life saving medical procedure(example). How could they?!?!? Maybe you even explained how important it was to you, how you counted on it and now you're going to be in a world of suffering. They just shrug and say hey man I didn't want to hurt your feelings sorry, no harm right.

Incredible, and you are of course the bad guy and people will tell you well how the hell did you count on that? You should have realized it was a lie to save your feelings. No, no I didn't.


I no longer talk to my sister after she pulled such a stunt on me, on top of the fact I borrowed HER an identical amount of money just a week previous!

This happens to everyone. It is part of life.

Y.E.S. spells "yes"