Is it only me that feels Aspeger is a curse

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im thinking like. why was i born with this asperger curse. " bad motorc skills" cant do sports or technical stuff". "raging" " lock on mode"... and all this disadvantages. i feel unhappy lost frosaken. trappt in my own world. nowhere to get out. Cant fight" cant speak" cant run" cant pratice anything cool sports cuz i will fail at it . cant understand context the abstract.


how does it feel to be normal im sure you are more diverse more intelligent. you can multitask. and such. and no disadvantages.

well it feels like im trapped in some bubble. i cant get out im misreable. nothing helps. shouldent asperger.

well all talk about how great it is to have asperger. well its classfied as a handicapp.

when shall shall we find a cure to this disease?

Although there was no word "Aspergers" for it then, I felt the way you feel now when I was young. I often thought it would be better to die.

With huge effort through frightening experiences, I managed to find a way to live better in the world and to my great surprise eventually my body got better at doing things. I found I could catch a ball, finally--as an adult. I was able to take Tae Kwon Do classes and advanced through a series of levels demanding ever increasing skill. I was able to make some friends, find a girlfriend, get married, have kids. I am glad I did not die in those years of hopelessness.

The whole thing is rearing it's head again, late in my life because there are some organizational things that seem impossible for me to do and this has an impact on my home life and work. I have also discovered that at least one of my children has Aspergers and I see him having some of the same difficulties I had--but I hope to make his passage through these difficult years easier, and also to use specific techniques to counter the organizational difficulties I have.

On the other hand If you told me that I could pop a pill to take that away, and then also lose my deep reverence for mathematics, sense of beauty in atmospheric systems and intense pleasure in (for example) "this week in virology" (http://www.twiv.tv/)
I would not take the bargain. I would keep the passion and work with CBT or DBT instead.

I hope things get better for you, as they did for me.

[edited to remove an accursed typo!]

Last edited by Adamantium on 25 Mar 2013, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Before I say anything else, Asperger's is not a disease.

A lot of the negatives about it can also be worked at and improved, and you can learn to socialize to an extent if you work at it.

It's not that I think living with Asperger's is idealistic; my mom barely understands the way I think, and I don't even bother with my father anymore. The only people that really understand me are my step-dad and most of my friends. Being around people who understand the way I tick has made it easier to focus on other things I need to work on.

Socializing sucks. I can't be in a huge crowd longer than a couple of hours because it's physically draining. I'm often envious of the people who can sit for hours talking to someone. My step-dad is one of those people, and something that should have been a five second exchange with another person changes into a 15 minute talk, and I'm just sitting there waiting for the conversation to finish.

Intelligence isn't measured on Autistic traits or how "normal" you are. To be truthful, no one is truly "normal," more like they have their own version of normal. Intelligence is something entirely different when it comes to functioning level.

"Bad motor skills," "can't do sports or technical stuff," "raging," "lock on mode," these don't really apply to me, because again, I worked at it and improved myself until I liked what I saw. I drew until my hand nearly fell off of my wrist. I play rugby (which a pretty rough contact sport), learning to control anger is something I still need to work on, but I don't really get that angry anymore, and sometimes I use "lock on mode" to my advantage.

I'm sorry you're miserable, I'm sorry you don't feel this false sense of normal. I'm sorry you're not trying to see that life is going to be hard, Asperger's or not.

I'm also sorry that this post might be a little harsh. But instead of trying to look for sympathy, why don't you work at what you dislike, and try to make something good out of it? I'm sure you're a unique individual with great ideas that you might want to share, or you may want to learn more about something that intrigues you. Don't let Asperger's stop you.

It was more a random occurrence so I don't see it as a curse, maybe a random occurrence that sucks a bit. I suppose I don't mind all aspects of the autism but the communication issues are certainly more trouble than they are worth. Also not sure if my physical movement issues or whatever the hell it is is part of the autism or not....but I was never able to keep up in P.E class and I still have some motor coordination issues with a lot of stuff that I can sort of mask but its still inconvenient probably more noticeable to me than others though.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 25 Mar 2013, 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In all fairness, not everyone has the same severity of Asperger's. Yours may have been mild. As an example, no matter what I do, my fine motor skills and ability to do technical stuff are never going to be good (just one example). I've definitely tried (and been fired from jobs that required these things). Socializing is easier to learn (for me). Some people may have amblyopia or other things that make sports difficult. Basically, what I'm trying to say is not everyone has the same level of impairments in every area.

But different people have different levels of impairments. It sounds your social impairments--and social anxiety-- are not very severe considering the fact that you have friends who understand you -- and at 16. It takes some people many years to even become self-aware enough to work on social skills to the extent that that is possible (early-mid 20's for me). For some, it may never happen.

So stop being so judgmental. You don't really know what the OP has to go through, and neither do I.

NO asperger makes me feel unormal. like im some diffrent specie. I tried to improve my motorc skills they wont. i cant change my brain.
l
how do you feel with aspergers? i mean it does ruin your entire life. you feel outside.


sorry im frustrated. im not happy with this "handicapp". You know everything would be better if you got rid of asperger. everyone on the planet would be happy. If you got aspergers it feels kinda your in a wheelchair. Stuck on some desert island. thats the sensation. or a man without a foot.

sometimes i get anxiety. sometimes i get psychotic. sometimes i just cry my eyes out. I say to my self " why was i born with this and why is everyone normal". Everyone can be social cope enjoy life. I dont.

How do you feel? I mean everyone with asperger is suffering. sure you might get a super skill but rly. " " achivments is nothing compared to a normal brain". you would enjoy more with a normal brain.

im raging maybe. but

CANT WE FIND A CURE. ASPERGER IS A LIKE A A MAN WITHOUT A FOOT. CANT WE FIND A CURE? seems raging helps a bit after all

Last edited by bl44d3lf on 25 Mar 2013, 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sorry, excuse me. I wasn't trying to come off as judgemental.

A lot of us have been through hell, I understand that.

I do think some things are fixable, but it's not a matter of simple willpower like Makayla said.

As just one example, I used to have social anxiety really bad related to a sensory processing issue. Whenever I was around people, I froze and literally couldn't move, and my brain literally couldn't think of anything to say. When I forced myself to move, my movements were very jerky, and I was tight all over, and my shoulders were always hunched, and there was nothing I could do about it. Trying to get people to feel sorry for me? Actually, not. Most of these things are either not a problem at all now or vastly reduced. So was I like Makayla and simply powered through it via sheer willpower and dedication? No. I did not, and it wasn't possible. I actually think I grew out of it naturally, so even if it feels like I consciously worked to overcome my social anxiety, it really had nothing to do with anything I consciously chose to do.

So I think what Makayla said is flawed. She may think she just worked on things, just like it feels to me like I consciously worked on things to the point where I can work, date, and live independently, but really, I bet both of us have achieved success in certain areas due to factors outside of our control.

With that said, there probably are things you can do to make your AS better, but it's not a matter of sheer willpower. You need to think carefully and get to the bottom of what exactly is causing you problems. Is it visual processing? You're not going to just power through that, so do vision therapy? Is it sensory integration? Then, there is stuff you can do for that too. Maybe you can do something about your depression and anxiety too (wish I could help you there).

Is it weird behavior? Well, one thing I did is talk to people on Skype. I then video taped myself interacting and posted it on YouTube for comments. Very helpful. Most so-called friends, at least those I have the capacity to make, are too nice to tell you what's wrong with you. It can be that they genuinely don't see anything wrong with you because they are accepting people. At any rate, it's better to get feedback from random strangers if you can. You Tube is a great resource. Use it.

The point is to be smart about it; don't listen to those, like Makayla, who try to make it sound like everything is your fault.

Your feelings are valid. And you are right that it is a handicap. Every one of us--even the "smart" ones--know that every day, because if it didn't hold us back, didn't cause problems, we wouldn't have a diagnosis.

But a disability doesn't mean you can't be happy. It doesn't mean you can't develop your talents or contribute to society.

Take a good hard look at the world around you. How much of what's holding you back is actually Asperger's, and how much is the way people think you can't do something--or the way you think you can't do something--because you have it? How much of the bad things in your life come from AS, and how much comes from people not letting you be a part of the world?

It's okay to get mad, but I think you should start getting mad at the way you're being held back by the barriers that disabled people face every day. There's a lot of unfairness, a lot of "you can't" assumptions, a lot of people who think that a disability means a tragedy or a wasted life or innate incompetence.

Curing autism is, in my educated opinion, impossible. But curing prejudice is totally possible. Acceptance is the best cure we have.

well asperger is classfied as a handicapp". and i couldent agree more. " man/women without a foot".

you dont feel connected with people. no awareness at all. i cant even be sad. or happy" maybe sometime i might get a sensation. but for the most time i dont. I feel crap .

Asperger is a society ruiner. its a disease that should not exist. you feel lonley lost frosaken trapped in a world. totally outside.

death would be better. Honestly i dont see a point in existing. if you cant connect with people why do exist?-

so many illness. We should all start a research foundation how to cure this illness rly. All would be happier. Can you imagine being happy and social for once.? not on the outside. not feeling wierd guilty or confused. for your misconsepctions. you can finally relax and enjoy life. not be frusrated and unhappyly lost in some wierd world.

asperger really f***s up your life. I think asperger should be " banned". we need to find a cure.

No, I feel exaclty the same.

Asperger's, in addition to depression and AvPD, really trips me up.

I was going to say that.. it isn't just having Asperger's.. it is having Asperger's with co-morbids. That is what makes it very hard to cope sometimes. There is a disorder that makes you not realize what your emotions are... and it is very much irking me because the name of it has just dropped out of my head. Hope another member can post it if they know what I am talking about...

If you have Asperger's and that... maybe that is the issue.. not just plain Asperger's but your co-morbids making it even harder for you.

I'm sorry you are struggling so much.

I think it depends on the severity of it. I was mildly autistic when I was young, and even though I've outgrown most of the social setbacks that came with it, I wouldn't be me if I was NT.

Whoa, whoa, hang on! Life is worth it! If you're really feeling like death is your only option, then you need to get yourself some help. Find a counselor or somebody you trust; talk to them. Explain that you are feeling cornered and that you have been thinking about suicide, or at least about death in general. You need some support to get through this--you should not have to be alone. I've been there. I've had depression and I've had to deal with suicidal ideation, as recently as last week actually. It's hard. Your own brain's trying to kill you. You have to fight back--even if that just means that you decide to write down what's been happening to you and give the note to someone who cares. Try to find a counselor who knows about disability issues; it seems to me that part of what's feeding into your own feelings of having a pointless existence might be that you've been told all your life that disability means tragedy, worthless life, etc. etc. and you have heard it so often that you have started to believe it. This is a familiar problem to many disabled people, and we have to fight it constantly. It doesn't matter if logically you know it's not true--you often still feel it anyway. And that's hard.

Over the years I've learned how to stay alive, and how to make my life mean something. Depression sucks, but it is also temporary. You can survive it and you can go on to do things that are useful and worthwhile. One of the things that helps me most of all is to find something to do that will benefit someone else. Right now, I make blankets for foster kids. I used to work at a food pantry, help organize the church library, and clean up at various cat shelters. That kind of thing makes you feel useful--and you don't have to be employable to do it, because you can just do it one hour a week if that's all you can manage. I don't know if this would be a good coping strategy for you, but since it works for me I thought I might mention it.

By the way: Autistic people can connect with others. That basic need to be part of a human community can be met. When disability is involved, and a person is impaired in doing something that is necessary to life, it's hardly ever the case that this person cannot meet the need that that activity would normally meet. Think for example about somebody who has a spinal cord injury and cannot walk. The need that walking fulfills--getting from one place to another--can be fulfilled in other ways. Depending on the specific case, that person might use a manual wheelchair or a walker or crutches, or might even propel a power wheelchair by operating a switch held in the mouth. Perhaps he'll get an adapted car and drive. There are even hand-propelled bicycles. No, he still can't walk the normal way--but he can get from one place to another. Similarly, the barriers autism places on connecting with other people can be overcome--not by trying to do things the normal way, but by finding ways that work for you and using those. Some autistic people can't speak, and so they use pictures, signs, typing, and other alternative communication devices. Perhaps you can't stand being at a party because you can't deal with the noise or follow the conversation--but you can get to know someone in a quiet place, one-on-one. Maybe it's hard for you to see what someone else is feeling; but you can learn to ask them, so they can tell you in words, which you understand better. Maybe you don't fit into the mainstream culture--but there are other people who also don't fit, and who actually enjoy getting to know those who are different.

This isn't some simple, obvious solution. For the most part, people with disabilities learn to cobble together solutions that work for them, through trial-and-error. Living with a disability does take a lot of creativity. Still--there are solutions. You know there are, because other people have found them. You're probably exhausted, tired of fighting the whole world to try to make a place for yourself in it. That's okay. I've been there, too. But once you catch your breath, you keep fighting, because life is worth it.

Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is a mental disorder in which the sufferer is affected by persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization and/or derealization. In the DSM-IV-TR this disorder is classified as a dissociative disorder; in the ICD-10 it is called depersonalization-derealization syndrome and classified as an independent neurotic disorder.[1] Common descriptions of symptoms are: feeling disconnected from one's physicality; feeling as though one is not completely occupying the body; not feeling in control of one's speech or physical movements; feeling detached from one's own thoughts or emotions; a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it or participating in it; loss of conviction with one's identity; feeling a disconnection from one's body; inability to accept one's reflection as one's own; difficulty relating oneself to reality and the environment; feeling as though one is in a dream; and out-of-body experiences.[