Self diagnosis is not my personal choice

Post Reply New Topic

I am finding it impossible to find acknowledgement that Autism could be a possibility for me. I have been trying now for 3 years.
I am beginning to accept a diagnosis will never happen for me, but how can I live with this uncertainty?
My whole life experience is evidence of a mild to moderate expression of Autism.
This is self diagnosed. When I say Autism I include Aspergers, how could I possibly know where I fit if no one will diagnose me. An alternative explanation is always found. official DX Depression and Social Anxiety.

Self diagnosis so far attracts ridicule (talked at in a patronizing way) and even more rejection, even from professionals. If I ask for reasonable changes to be made to help me perform the way I am expected to perform they are refused. Then it is demanded that I change be more flexible and easy going, I have tried so hard to change. I have been told I should not self diagnose. I cannot possibly afford private.

As a child and teenager I fulfilled much of the criteria that a modern day teacher would use to identify possible Autism.
These behaviours and I don't feel a need to list them, were explained by a little bit of abuse I suffered by my carers.
I am looking for this validation as perhaps I have lost the ability to trust my own judgement. Time and time my own judgement has failed me I have begun to doubt my self diagnosis.

I believe an official diagnosis is important on a personal level to validate myself and so that I have a genuine reason to request adaptation. I feel it is important on a wider scale for other invisible Autistics as a tiny step towards raising awareness for anyone else crumbling behind a mask.

So if this is never going to happen what do I do, all I ask is that I am accepted for being me.

Something is unclear ...

Have you sought a professional diagnosis, and not received the one you want?

Or have you not sought a professional diagnosis out of the uncertainty that you will receive the one you want?

I think you eventually need an official diagnosis. Otherwise you would be stuck where you are forever. From what you put in the OP I assume you consulted a professional and were told that you didn't have autism. You can seek second opinion as many people have said to others here on WP.

I'm in the same situation at the moment. I have an appointment with a professional. I really don't feel I can have a fulfilling life as it is. I need to clarify things and want to find an employer that can accommodate my problems and fully utilize my abilities. In my current job, I'm really wasted because the social side of it is preventing me from functioning properly.

Unless you have a strong need for benefits that you could receive for having an Autism diagnosis, it'd probably be better to stay off the records. There's the possibility that because of the Newtown tragedy, the government could impose autistic 'Jim Crow' laws that would ban you from restaurants, stores, etc. simply for having a diagnosis. They could also institutionalize you for no reason in particular. Autism is harder to keep secret than some other disorders though, like Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so people with Autism generally have a harder time staying off the records. Not that I'm comparing Autism to those two disorders, but enough people think that Autism is similar to those two disorders that it'd probably be better if people didn't know about it.

Fnord --- I have not been able to get past GP or 2 therapists to get to the step of an official diagnosis.

Yet they have all noticed autistic behaviours in me but never concluded that I could be right about autism. It was reeled back all the stereotype behaviours.

JK1 --- I agree but I have lost faith this will happen I need to learn how to get by without this diagnosis. I think I need to move on from thinking that a diagnosis means everything. At the moment I think it does but it is too stressful keep trying to get it.

Mike1 --- I have often thought about this happening which is incredibly unfair, are you off the records? How do you explain your ways to people?

I don't want benifits, I like working but I do tend to stare at people and I don't mean to upset them it's just one of the many things I wish people understood that for me is hard to change.

Then you could either continue to seek professional opinions until you receive the one you want, not seek any more professional opinions and feel miserable, accept the fact that the professional consensus is that you do not have Autism, or become a poseur and pretend that your opinion is as valid as that of any professional.

Last edited by Fnord on 28 Apr 2013, 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not off the records, but I'm still concerned about this happening. It probably won't happen soon, but it could happen after a few more tragedies are blamed on Autism. I've never had to explain my Autism to anyone, except for this one time when I had my vital signs checked and got searched for drugs by a security guard because I was "acting weird".

continue to seek professional opinions until you receive the one you want - I have reached a point were I want to give up

not seek any more professional opinions and feel miserable - I like the first part I would rather avoid the misery

accept the fact that the professional consensus is that you do not have Autism - That would only be possible I were ever given access to someone professionally trained and experienced enough to diagnose autism, thus far I have been denied this. I would accept PDD-NOS / BAP / atypical. My last therapist was a lovely lady who clearly had little experience of autistic behaviours. I knew much more than her.

become a poseur and pretend that your opinion is as valid as that of any professional - This is my very problem, I am considered a poseur (definition to pretend I am something I am not) by pretending my opinion is valid.

A non negotiable fundamental element of my personality is that I am passive. So I could not push these views even if I wanted to

Registering to this forum I was even asked about my diagnosed status.

My fate and happiness is in the hands of others who cannot / will not validate me. It took me 2 years 3 months to even reach the end of a waiting list for the first therapist, GP had no time for my ideas and plied me with anti depressants when I told him I was never depressed.

Would you take a self diagnosed Aspie / Ausistic seriously?

you are welcome on this forum without an official diagnosis.

Yes, you are. By the way, why not send your scores and a thorough description to an expert on the net? They are quite good and will not ridicule anyone. Maybe that would give you some peace of mind.

I never doubted it and thank you for the acceptance.

I was highlighting the fact the question is asked, perhaps implying significance. Did not know about seeking an internet expert opinion. It is something to think about, my main concern would be me presenting myself in a biased way. I don't know if I could fully trust it. Awkward I am.

I may have presented myself as augmentative earlier and I am sorry if this was the case, I was feeling stressed out. Dealing with the anxiety of living with the traits that a person on the Autistic Spectrum has is difficult enough without being made to feel like a fool / over dramatic / hypercondriac ever time I ask for support. This post reignited those feelings I have when I try to express myself.

I just PM´ed you a link.

Yes.

Some people here are a bit rigid about insisting that self-diagnosis is invalid. My understanding is that Fnord has good reasons for recommending what he does, although I do not agree with his conclusions, and I see no point in calling anyone a poseur.

Whether or not you are autistic or whether or not you are officially diagnosed, you're still welcome here.

Last edited by Verdandi on 28 Apr 2013, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Currently I'm in the same situation, although I've only been seeking a diagnosis for about six months.

I've got as far as seeing a psychiatrist, who has so far given me a working diagnosis of having a social phobia. He was of the opinion that an ASD is unlikely because apparently I don't have a "repetitive repertoire of interests" (not that we even discussed this on my first consultation). If he would just let me tell him about how I sit at home writing out pronunciations in the International Phonetic Alphabet he might have a different opinion. Instead he was only interested in my family history.

Upon seeing him for a second time I tried to explain my interests in more detail, but he didn't have the time to hear it (even though I turned up early for my appointment). He told me that if I want to pursue it I should contact Cambridge Psychiatric Services. He gave me no contact details so I Googled it and it doesn't seem to exist. I am at a dead end.

The thing is I don't even feel that I have a problem. So my mind doesn't work like everyone else's; big deal! The trouble is people often have a problem with me and I just can't understand why. I've had some mixed responses about my self-diagnosis. I think you're right in that most people won't recognise your self-diagnosis, but some of my friends are quite understanding. Particularly one who has a degree in psychology and has studied autism a bit recognises many of my traits.

To be honest I'm not sure a professional diagnosis would help: people are generally just ignorant anyway.

I can completely relate to that. If other people did not insist on conformity I would never needed to most this original post, but I do find myself thinking I am doing just fine only to find out someone finds me to be creepy or that a group I try to be part of is plotting a plan to get rid of me, in the nicest possible way of course.



I agree that there are many good reasons for seeking a professional diagnosis, I have felt rigid on the matter myself, this is why I choose to highlight this in my title, the pattern I have noticed is it can be a luck based depending on the knowledge and understanding of the therapist assigned. Without money I cannot skip this step as I need a GP referral. I am coming to realise this rigid view I have had is unfair.



Typo, I meant Autistic.