My father might have days to live

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He has cancer. For the last couple of weeks the prognosis has been getting worse and worse: from "1 to five years" to "months or even weeks". Now the hospital wants my family to make a decision about whether to give him an operation that could kill him and would need to be repeated in a couple of months anyway, or to just move him to palliative care. If we choose palliative care it could possibly be only a few days.

I am as conflicted as hell about his impending death, because he was quite a bastard when we lived in the same house.

I am worried about/feeling sad for my mother.

Posting this here because it will most likely be a few hours before I see/hear from anyone who I really want to talk to and I wanted to get it out of my head.

I am so sorry. I went through something similarbwith my uncle, who was the closest person my sister and I ever had to a dad since he didn't have kids and doted on us like we were his own. I unfortunately don't know what advice to give you except that I understand your pain and you have my condolences.

It's been about a year since I lost my father to cancer... I offer my most sincere condolences. Make the most of this time while hes still alive...

"Happy moments are like flowers - enjoyed more while still walking along the path of life."

(I may be misquoting, but I hope you get the idea. Go spend time with him and enjoy it.... just in case.)

hugs

Generally you first want to follow the patients wishes, whether they wrote something down or expressed it verbally to a family member. If they did not provide any guidence and cannot now, a next guide is trying to figure out what minimizes the patients pain and suffering. In terminal cases people frequently chose not to prolong things, just to prolong it.

He was put into palliative care tonight as his condition had deteriorated. He was still alive when I left the hospital but it won't be long now.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words.

I hope you're not all alone... friends? Family? Even a pet is better than being alone at a time like this...

My brother is in his room with the dog.
My aunt and uncle were up at the hospital, but I didn't want to stay as she kept fussing over me. She means well, but I hate being fussed over.

I am sorry about this sudden loss. You haven't had time to process the idea because his illness moved so fast. Try not to worry too much about the conflicting feelings. It is natural to have those. Try to forgive him if you can and be kind to him because you won't get another chance once he's gone.

You and your family are in my thoughts. Don't worry if you feel you need to say anything at all at this time, I will listen.

He died peacefully at around quarter to 9 this morning.

Sweet Pea hugs

I imagine you're still in a haze... my sincere condolences.

Sorry to hear

BlueMax; I am in a haze, mainly of sleep deprivation. I didn't get to sleep until almost 5am, then my dog woke me at 7am.
I've been preparing myself for the worst every since his lungs started collapsing about a month ago, and that is helping, but the end was quite sudden.
Yesterday, I was planning to visit today, and my friend was going to go with me. If she hadn't decided to call to check if her presence was wanted, then my mother wouldn't have had the chance to tell me to get to the hospital last night, and it would have been too late.

Thanks again to everyone who's posted here.

My condolences. I can only imagine what it's like to feel conflicted about the death of someone you weren't sure if you actually loved or not.

I am glad it ws peaceful and that you were able to be there. My condolences to you and your family.