Sleep, Depression And Challenges Raising Autistic Children

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I am suffering from extreme sleep depravation because my child's sleeping habits are out of control. I need advice from other mothers on how to deal with the frustration of never getting enough sleep to feel energetic, alive and happy about my life. and I would like to hear other mothers stories about there life with their child and where they feel the greatest stresses are in every day events.

Hi, sleep deprivation is horrendous isn't it?
There is a parents discussion area where you will find lots of suggestions.
(I'm a grandma so don't want to give out of date advice)

Moved to parenting.
As its the place where you ll find more parental advice

Depending on the age of your child, his diagnosis, the way he reacts to meds, and his health issues, and also what you mean by his sleeping habits are out of control, I might give Benadryl if he can take it, for a few nights at bedtime to get him into the habit of sleeping at the right times. Now, my kids are NT so my experience is different, but mine also slept in our bed a lot too which I just gave in and let them do and bought a king size bed, so that way I was able to get my sleep. If it's a minor problem and your kid is old enough to take Benadryl and can take it, then I'd give it a shot.

As for you, well I drink a whole lot of coffee. Lots and lots of caffeine. I also like energy drinks when I need them.

This is not the healthiest suggestion for either your child or you, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. As long as it doesn't do any harm, then it won't do any harm. You have to weigh the benefits with the risks I suppose.

Also, could you get someone to watch him overnight sometimes? Maybe a grandparent? That way you get some time to yourself to recharge. I had 4 kids, the last three each born 18 months apart and the oldest one four years older and I barely got through that. I was exhausted and sometimes just in tears without time for myself. I would actually sometimes send them to day care for one or two days just so I could have some time. Sometimes they would go to my mothers for a night. It was very hard, but now they are 16, 18, 19 and 24 and I really miss having them little.

When we had more issues with sleep, my husband would give me nap time. It isn't the same as getting the sleep when you are supposed to, but for me it was better than not getting it. I don't know how old your child is, so some of it will depend on whether he is really young and takes naps and you could nap with him; or if he is older and goes to school, and you could take a day off from work (if you work) to sleep.

If you give us more info, we may be able to provide more concrete advice. Our son did not sleep reliably through the night, really until last year, and even then I would have to occasionally help him get back to sleep if he awoke. Each year it got better, though, so I felt each year like I was getting more rest and that kind of helped too.

Our daily home-life stress, right now (not related to school etc) has to do with the difficulty in helping with self-help skills especially sensory-related ones like tooth brushing. Our son is more cooperative than he used to be, but it is still hard because we are making us brush his teeth and it is almost like torture to him, though he is more desensitized than he was. He really has no interest in doing anything boring, so even self-help skills that are not sensory are something we end up doing.

Also the rigidity is hard to deal with although much improved, He will go on long self-interest brain dumps, and it is hard to get him to pause so I can talk to my husband or tell him things he needs to know. He is also having issues with winning and losing games (mainly losing) so that can result in meltdowns sometimes.

Things are really peaceful here when things go well at school, so I don't want it to sound like it is really hard most of the time. It was not always this way (My son is 7) and I don't know that things won't get harder as puberty sets in. That is where we are now, is the best I can say.

I cannot recommend melatonin enough, particularly the time-release type if your child wakes up during the night as well as having trouble getting to sleep initially.

Everything looks bad when you are sleep-deprived, if you sort out the sleep you will be stronger to cope with everything else.

Have you looked into what kind of respite care is available in your area? If your child spent a night or two being cared for by a respite caregiver, that could give you a chance to catch up on your sleep.