Is it really sexual abuse? Hard to believe it...

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11 May 2013, 10:21 pm

Most of the legit sadistic stuff came from a family friend, but my father also did some things which I wonder are abuse or not since they seem to qualify as such under the Texas Penal Code.

(a) A person commits an offense if, with a child younger than 17 years and not the person's spouse, whether the child is of the same or opposite sex, the person:

Quote:

Texas Penal Code 21.11 Indecency with a Child
(1) engages in sexual contact with the child or causes
the child to engage in sexual contact; or
(2) with intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire
of any person:
(A) exposes the person's anus or any part of the
person's genitals, knowing the child is present; or
(B) causes the child to expose the child's anus
or any part of the child's genitals.....
(c) In this section, "sexual contact" means the following
acts, if committed with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual
desire of any person:
(1) any touching by a person, including touching
through clothing, of the anus, breast, or any part of the genitals
of a child; or
(2) any touching of any part of the body of a child,
including touching through clothing, with the anus, breast, or any
part of the genitals of a person.
(d) An offense under Subsection (a)(1) is a felony of the
second degree and an offense under Subsection (a)(2) is a felony of
the third degree.

Incidents w/father:

1. Being forced to take "naked baths" with father up until age 11 once a week when younger in which, at times, father would touch or fondle child's sex organs repeatedly. If this had an ostensible hygienic purpose, was this actually abuse? It seemed excessive, though, and made me very, very uncomfortable even at that young age.

2. Penetration of anus with finger or objects: supposedly to look for "worms." Also remember being quite uncomfortable but do not remember active resistance. Aren't there medications and doctors who can take care of this? I remember he used to do this on occasions even when I didn't complain of anything, kind of as a routine thing, and I think the action was quite excessive, especially the use of sharp objects in "there."

So these do seem like they could qualify under the Texas Penal Code, so they would qualify as incidents of "indecency with a child." #2, as "sexual contact," does not require an intent to sexually gratify the abuser, same with the fondling in #1, so I would presume that such behavior violates the statute, even if the mens rea (intent), under one element of #1 (exposure) could not be proven.

Last edited by Tyri0n on 11 May 2013, 10:56 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Giftorcurse
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11 May 2013, 10:28 pm

Call the cops on the scumbag.

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Shatbat
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11 May 2013, 10:35 pm

Wow

Yes, it is abuse, and clearly so.

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Tyri0n
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11 May 2013, 10:36 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:

Call the cops on the scumbag.

Statute of limitations + proof. One of my siblings would back me up. Several others might lie though, as would my mother.

It would also probably be California law that would apply, and I do plan to look into it at some point after I get my law license. I am not sure about the statute of limitations in California.

Blue_Jackets_fan
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11 May 2013, 10:44 pm

Tyri0n wrote:

Quote:

Def abuse. I'm so sorry what you went through. As a survivor myself it angers me reading others having to go through it. When it is a parent doing the abuse it's even worse.

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11 May 2013, 11:24 pm

Tyri0n wrote:

Giftorcurse wrote:

Call the cops on the scumbag.

Does your mom know about all this? If not, she should know - and he should be kept away from other little boys. :evil:

Tyri0n
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11 May 2013, 11:37 pm

BlueMax wrote:

Tyri0n wrote:

Giftorcurse wrote:

Call the cops on the scumbag.

Does your mom know about all this? If not, she should know - and he should be kept away from other little boys. :evil:

She would not believe or accept it since she refused to remember the time my Dad slammed my brother against a door and choked him, even though she was the one who pulled him off. The witnesses will need to be my brother and I -- when I am emotionally and financially able to bring criminal charges if, in fact, I can do so. I took several projective tests that indirectly support this also. That's what has been triggering a lot of these memories (I had the memories before; I never suppressed them completely, but I didn't recognize them, if that makes sense).

It's like in the FLDS Church in El Paso -- many of the grown women who saw what happened were blinded to the gravity of what happened.

Finally, if I do end up bringing criminal charges (I will be a lawyer in 1 year and can help figure out the system), I want it to come as a surprise, so my mother cannot warn my Dad about it first.

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12 May 2013, 9:42 am

Tyri0n wrote:

BlueMax wrote:

Does your mom know about all this? If not, she should know - and he should be kept away from other little boys. :evil:

She would not believe or accept it since she refused to remember the time my Dad slammed my brother against a door and choked him, even though she was the one who pulled him off.

I'll never understand the human tendency to fully believe (to the death!) what they prefer to believe, rather than the awful truth staring them right in the face! I've known a ton of people do it... mostly women, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence of my personal experience.

Have you recently (or ever) asked your dad why on earth he did all that??

Tyri0n
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12 May 2013, 1:21 pm

BlueMax wrote:

Tyri0n wrote:

BlueMax wrote:

Does your mom know about all this? If not, she should know - and he should be kept away from other little boys. :evil:

She would not believe or accept it since she refused to remember the time my Dad slammed my brother against a door and choked him, even though she was the one who pulled him off.

Choked my brother? There were many incidents similar to that. I have kind of brought it up, and he seemed to think that the fact that he "repented" made it ok.

what makes it a little tough is that I think he has grown out of a lot of things in old age.

ASDsmom
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12 May 2013, 10:39 pm

Tyri0n wrote:

what makes it a little tough is that I think he has grown out of a lot of things in old age.

Be careful though because this could very well be your opinion.
I'm sorry you had to live through all that.

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12 May 2013, 10:51 pm

Some adults are reptilian predators who unscrupulously take advantage of children who have no idea what the legal definitions of abuse actually are.

I've been through similar situations in my family (in my case, it was my aunt). I feel your pain.

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13 May 2013, 2:19 am

I'm leaning more towards the interpretation that it was indeed abuse (judging from the end of your second point). But without further context, it's not that easy to tell.

Elaborate more on the fondling bit. Was it done in a sexual manner? Or was he just washing your genital area and had to touch your penis every now and then?

As for the second point, well, I remember my mother used to insert a tablet pill into my anus when I had a fever. So, again, context is important.

MCalavera
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13 May 2013, 2:21 am

Actually, now that I read your post again, it does sound like abuse.

Dan_Vincze
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13 May 2013, 2:25 am

Tyri0n wrote:

If the crime occurred in California, than yes, I'd expect California to have jurisdiction.

Also on that note:

California Penal Code wrote:

801.1. (a) Notwithstanding any other limitation of time described in this chapter, prosecution for a felony offense described in
Section 261, 286, 288, 288.5, 288a, or 289, or Section 289.5, as enacted by Chapter 293 of the Statutes of 1991 relating to penetration by an unknown object, that is alleged to have been committed when the victim was under the age of 18 years, may be commenced any time prior to the victim's 28th birthday.

Also, not many States allow private prosecutions anymore, and I don't believe California is one of them. Furthermore, trying to be the lawyer on a case where you're also the complainant strikes me as a terrible idea.

Of course, I'm not a lawyer, so take all that with a grain of salt.

Tyri0n
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13 May 2013, 2:42 am

Dan_Vincze wrote:

Tyri0n wrote:

If the crime occurred in California, than yes, I'd expect California to have jurisdiction.

Also on that note:

California Penal Code wrote:

I would not be a private prosecutor. But it's often hard for citizens to get their claims taken seriously. As a fellow lawyer, I could talk to the prosecutor in an informed manner should I decide to do this, and as a result, I'd be more likely to be taken seriously.

Context is pretty important, and I was pretty young; I just remember feeling uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. I still feel grossed out around him. But is that enough? That's why I am going to wait until I have had (hopefully) some DBT sessions and talk to a therapist and can think more clearly before I do anything. I know I have plenty of other reasons to be hostile to my father, so I want to make sure my perceptions are completely accurate first.

In addition, when I took the Rorshach ink blots as one of the tests I took to be diagnosed with Complex PTSD, it said that as a result of the sexual and physical abuse I suffered (no, my father was not the only one, nor was he the worst), I have severe perceptual distortions. So I'm not sure about anything I think or feel at the moment.

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13 May 2013, 7:45 am

These are the things that piss me off. Sorry about this, I just don't understand what the hell people do these things for.

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