any adults who suffered sexual abuse as a child?

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leojewels91
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19 May 2013, 10:22 am

I also have Asperger syndrome, and anxiety disorders.

I was raped more than twice. One person who sexually scarred me for life was my biological father between the ages of 2-5 years ole. He raped me a couple of times. He also thought he was a gynecologist and checked my vagina. His punishments for me were throwing me outside in the snow, no food, cutting me, burning me with water, and making me masturbate me. These days it hurts so much to remember the memories. However my mom went to court so that way he would not be able to go near me.

I was also raped in high school, by a boy who was suppsoed to be a friend. The girl pulled my pants down, and laughed throuhout the whole situation. It was only a 5 minute type of rape behind the school building, but it still hurt. Before the rape happened the boy would keep sticking his dick out in front of me. He even tried touching my boobs. I wanted to tell someone, but I too scared of what others would think.

Now I have a great boyfriend and I want the sex because this guy s nice, turns me on, does not hurt my feelings and promises me the rapes were not my fault. He doesn't hurt me. He is a great boyfriend that I have been dating for two years, long distance. We both love each other very much. He is very supportive and cares about me. We love eah other to the core of our hearts.


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kouzoku
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19 May 2013, 12:18 pm

Well, I live with one of my past abusers, but he either seems to have forgotten about it or thinks I don't care. Or never thought that what he did was wrong in the first place. I think it's the latter and so does my therapist.



WildTaltos
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19 May 2013, 12:19 pm

I am a male with aspergers, and I was raped whn I was 12 - the man ws a farmhand/relatiev of mine workin for my father, I realy trusted him becuse he was usuly nice to me and sympthesised when my father beat me and helpd me with my chores when he cuold, and so it realy helped destry my trust in people for long whiel, particulrly since it was so violent becuse it made me panic and i tried to fightt at first. My fathre didnt report the incident to authority, he jus fired the guy, so supose there will never be justic unless I take it intoo my own hands soemday, as I know the man who did it is livin prety comfortbly, decent job and evrything. I shuoldnt have expcted my father to do anythin abuot it becuse he didnt value me at all but I stil felt pretty betrayed. I was rapedd again jus last year, also by a relative, whiel I was stayin with his family while recovring from a stroke, so guess he took advantege of the fact I wuoldnt be able to defnd myself much, and its been very cripling mentally - I contemplaet suicide often andd now solve almos all my emotionl dilemmas by hurtin myself - but I cant say how much of taht is becuse of damage from the stroek along and stress and overwelming caused by pain of other health problems. The guy who did it is being punishd, but not realy any satisfaction from it. Overal, have not yet been abl to recovre much positve from those exprinces, so not sure what adviec I can offer, othr than dont let any event like that be waht forms you psychologiclly the most, or you will be living with lot of pain for yuor whole life. Reading th stories of othres onn here is very inspiring becuse of their personal strngth thruogh similar issue.


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21 May 2013, 4:34 am

i was molested by my uncle
he is still alive
i told my mom about what he did to me
but my mom said he did not sleep on you so thats OK
my mom continues to have nice relationship with him
whereas i prefer hiding from him
he has a 24 year old daughter now
and i deal with the monster of the past
thats how life works


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