I realize I still have problems with tact
daydreamer84
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Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world
Okay, you have a good point about the present but what if the present was not returnable though and you had spent a lot of money on it because you really thought the other person would like it?
What if you thought the baby was incredibly ugly and the person asked you directly "don't you think my baby is cute?" what would you say? If you didn't answer a direct question that'd be really rude. What if they just asked you a second time? If you said the kid was ugly that would definitely hurt the other person.
Most of the OP's responses actually seem pretty tactful to me.
These responses aren't what I should say so much as what I would probably actually say/do. I really have no filter between my brain and mouth, so I'm not known for being overly tactful.
1. For Christmas, your grandmother gives you a sweatshirt which you think is ugly. She asks how
you like it. What should you say?
(Attempting a smile) Thanks. (My mom actually did this to me for Christmas... I don't understand why, though because she knows that I like to wear darker clothing and she bought me a lime green sweater)
2. You are watching TV and the phone rings. Your mom answers it and tells you it’s Jane. You
don’t like Jane and don’t want to talk to her. What should you say?
I'm not home.
3. Your friend gets a new baby sister and you think it is the ugliest baby you’ve ever seen. Your
friend asks you, “Isn’t she the cutest?” What should you say?
Sure.
4. Your teacher is walking down the hallway with a piece of trash stuck to her shoe heel. What
should you say?
I wouldn't say anything. Honestly I wouldn't think much of it unless it was an especially amusing piece of trash.
5. Your friend has been talking for 10 minutes with a big piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth.
What should you say?
I also wouldn't say anything here. Instead I would be trying very hard not to look at it because something about someone with food between their teeth really makes me want to gag.
6. You are visiting your friend’s house and your friend’s mom serves liver and onions for dinner,
which you think is disgusting. What should you say?
No, thank you. I actually already ate. (also, the only friend that I regularly spend time with knows I am a vegetarian and would remind her mom of that)
On a side note, when I was a kid, probably 10 or so, my grandma had made meatloaf for dinner once (which I didn't like) and I just blurted out "Oh, good, we're having pukeloaf for dinner." I felt bad about it after the fact...
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"Success is not the absence of failure, it is the persistence through failure."
To those that say my responses were good or tactful, thank you. I was hoping to hear from an NT.
I can't think of a none tactful way to telling someone they have something stuck to their shoe or between their teeth. I guess some people are naturally tactful they don't even have to think of how to say it. I always think if you have to really think, you have that difficulty. Normal people don't really have to think. I am sure they do at times but not as often as us.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
I can't think of a none tactful way to telling someone they have something stuck to their shoe or between their teeth. I guess some people are naturally tactful they don't even have to think of how to say it. I always think if you have to really think, you have that difficulty. Normal people don't really have to think. I am sure they do at times but not as often as us.
Generally people just look you in the eye and silently point to their own bodypart- the mouth if its the teeth, or their foot if its the shoe. And hope you get the idea.
When I was a grade school kid I would hear "you're flying low!" when my fly was down.
you like it. What should you say?
2. You are watching TV and the phone rings. Your mom answers it and tells you it’s Jane. You
don’t like Jane and don’t want to talk to her. What should you say?
3. Your friend gets a new baby sister and you think it is the ugliest baby you’ve ever seen. Your
friend asks you, “Isn’t she the cutest?” What should you say?
4. Your teacher is walking down the hallway with a piece of trash stuck to her shoe heel. What
should you say?
5. Your friend has been talking for 10 minutes with a big piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth.
What should you say?
6. You are visiting your friend’s house and your friend’s mom serves liver and onions for dinner, which you think is disgusting. What should you say?
1- "not really"
2- "tell her I'm not home"
3- "it's just a baby like many others I've seen" (when I look at babies, they all look the same to me)
4- I would just say nothing
5- "you have something between your teeth"
6- "I don't like liver and onions, no problem, I won't eat"
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