Should mods be friends with members offsite?

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How tight of a leash should the mods be kept on in regards to having friendships outside WP with other members?

I'm asking this not to start an argument, but because of some drama on another thread and I was wondering if any other people get upset or paranoid that mods communicate with members outside of WP or if it bothers anyone that mods make friends on here.

I am friends with a couple of mods off of WP, and wouldn't ever expect them to cut me any particular slack because of that. If I were to get in an argument with one off of WP I also wouldn't expect them to be mean or nitpicky to me on here because of something that happened somewhere away from here.

I wasn't sure were to put this so I put it in this section, and if it needs to be moved then please feel free to do so. Or if it needs to be removed, feel free to do so, but please remember that I'm not trying to start anything here, I'm honestly wondering if that bothers other members.

The only other option would be having mods just be mods and not participate in the forum at all, which I would think would make most of them leave because it's a volunteer job and they probably do it because they enjoy the forum and want to keep it running smoothly.

So basically, I'm wondering if anyone else feels upset or threatened that a mod who may have sent them a scolding PM or something could possibly be friends offsite with a member that they don't like or are having problems with. I'm also not asking this so that they can make a rule of "No outside friends" but just out of curiosity.

Also, if the fact that mods may be friends offsite with members does upset you, then how would you suggest that be fixed? Should they not be able to do so, or should they not be allowed to mediate problems involving someone they are friends with? What constitutes outside friends as well? FB friends, emailing each other, phone conversations, face to face friends who leave nearby, etc?

Just curious now, because I hadn't given that much thought before. When we are away from WP I just think of the mods I know as regular people.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I've been moderator on a few forums and there has never ever been any kind of rule against moderators being friend with members. Such a rule would be fundamentally unenforceable anyway, and would be a great way to convince people to not moderate for you.

Ideally, friendships shouldn't play a role in moderation - and in my case, when someone is either someone I like or dislike to a certain degree, I recuse myself from moderating them to avoid the impression of bias. However, I'm not a moderator here, and that may not be applicable.

Yes, remember this is just a message forum. If someone is bitching about |"moderator prejudice" than you need to get a life and unplug your computer. Who the f**k cares who the mods are friends with.

Only a handful of members would even care....and TBH, why does it matter? Very few regulars engage in behavior that draws moderator attention, and I don't think WP should even care.

And if a WPer regularly engages in behavior where it's an issue, perhaps they should find another forum.

As pointed out above, it's unenforceable anyway.

Of course. You're not the first member to be friends with moderators here. I am sure there will be a higher risk for special treatment where the moderator keeps warning the member but never does anything about it so they never get banned when they should. It's also a risk to lose friends because they tend to expect special treatment and then get mad at you when you warn them or or threaten to ban them if they keep breaking the rules.

But being a mod is risky because your friends could try and take advantage of you thinking you wouldn't punish them for breaking a rule and not ever ban them or lose them as friends and make enemies because members don't agree with your decision.

Mods can be friends with members all they want and act like regular people off site and post like regular a member on the forum.

I voted for Unicorns as this was the most suitable answer.

Personal opinion:
If the moderators are not allowed to post opinions or make friends then we might as well kiss this site goodbye.
I think moderators deserve the utmost respect for donating their time and energy to a site like this.
I would hope that the moderators were selected because they showed an ability to be impartial.
I do think that moderator opinions on WP issues should not be shared in other areas.

Obviously, if having friends was banned for mods, there wouldn't be any reason to become a mod *except* to have power to throw around.

I think that mods should step aside when a conflict involves one of their friends. Hyperlexian always says how she won't moderate a thread she participates in. There are two sides to every conflict and people naturally take the side of their friends. Therefore, mods should step aside when a friend is involved.

If a member has a personality conflict with another member, they will vent about it to their friends, that's human nature. If their friend is a mod, and the personality conflict escalates to the point that a mod needs to step in, the befriended moderater *can't* come into the situation unbiased, he/she will have the words of their friend altering their opinion long before they step in to hear both sides and make a decision. They *need* to step aside.

That situation is just accidental bias, there could be incidents of a friend of a mod asking for favors (Such as setting up another person to be banned), protection, or a mod doing those things w/o being asked.

OliveOilMom, I've never seen any questionable behavior from you. However, that doesn't mean it hasn't or won't happen elsewhere.

The moderators are WP members, just like everyone else. Their exemplary behaviour during their time here has motivated Alex to ask them to volunteer their services to the site. As WP members and as volunteers, of course they should be allowed to be friends with other members offsite. This shouldn't have any bearing on how incidents involving their friends are dealt with though.

It would be ridiculous to expect people to do all the duties required of being a moderator while abstaining from using the website for its intended purpose.

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