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LtlPinkCoupe
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02 Jul 2013, 12:45 am

My 14-year-old half-sister now has a boyfriend, and the two of them text each other almost constantly during the day. Because of this, she literally carries her phone with her everywhere she goes. At first, I was kind of amused by this, because it reminded me of me at her age, only I always carried around my small stuffed dolphin, Dory, at the time (I had no boyfriend or friends to speak of, so no texting/talking on cell phone). As I thought about it more, however, I got a bit annoyed - everyone seems to accept that my sister constantly texts her boyfriend and friends, and when anyone asks about it, my mom will just say, "Oh, well, it's hard to be a teenager" (Ummm, it was hard for me, too, but I was the "quirky" one and could fend for myself, I guess) - but when anyone saw me carrying Dory around when I was 14, all I got was, " Do you REALLY need to carry that thing around?" "Leave that in the car!" "You're not taking Dory, are you?"

I guess I'm just wondering why it's perfectly okay for my sister to have a "comfort item" in the form of her phone, but it wasn't okay for me to seek comfort from Dory or another stuffed animal. I mean, constant texting is sure to run up one heck of a phone bill (unless mom and stepdad have unlimited texting), texting takes away from other activities, and there are one or two girls who have been known to bully my sister thru texts, but Dory never caused any kind of harm in any way. Neither she or I were hurting anybody. So why are phones okay, but not stuffed dolphins?

Just one of the many things that are okay for neurotypicals, but not for us, I guess.....

Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy that my sister has a boyfriend, and is enjoying all the social opportunities I never had or took any interest in....what I'm upset about is the apparent double standard.


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Liv_a_Little92
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02 Jul 2013, 1:22 am

I have had the same sort of problem.
When I was young and I was going to a place that (a) I had never been to before or (b) Just made me uncomfortable in general I would take one of my four main toys out with me depending on what I felt I could get away with (I was a little cheeky in my early years)
The 1st year and a half of my Primary school life I would take my bunny in my bag to school with me to hold and play with at lunch times cause I couldn't make friends, That behavior stopped when a bully took my bunny and ripped it to shreds. My grandma was able to fix it, however, I learnt my lesson.
When I turned 7 though a teacher gave me a present. I think he felt pity about the fact I couldn't make friends. He gifted me My first Beanie Kid named Surf the Lifesaver Bear. I carried him around everywhere in my pocket. He was small not to be noticed and cause I had him with me at all times no-one could steal him from my bag.
However my mother noticed. She, at home, would try to hide Surf in the mornings so I couldn't take him and would get annoyed when I still managed to find him. There were times however when I really couldn't get to him (aka he was put on the top shelf in her wardrobe) and so I got to taking Woody with me instead.

When I got to High school I phased out of carrying any toy at all (aka Bullies) and took refuge in the Library and that worked for me, outside of school however I still carried around Surf when I was uncomfortable. Sleepovers and camping however I used my Winnie the Pooh that was given to me on my 8th Birthday.

Now that I am at University I don't carry around Surf anymore... Cause he got old. I instead carry a small bear I call Concentration Bear. I bought as a donation to the Cancer council to fund breast cancer research and she hangs around in my handbag. That's a link to what she looks like below.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/ ... 3654_n.jpg

My family still gets annoyed from time to time about my habits but they have learned to accept it as one of my many Quirks and they eventually realized that if they wanted me to go anywhere a toy has to come to.



starkid
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02 Jul 2013, 1:40 am

Most people would see constant texting as age-appropriate for a (modern) teen, and carrying around a stuffed dolphin as non-age-appropriate. I'm sure that's the difference.


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vanhalenkurtz
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02 Jul 2013, 2:12 am

Be the 1st to invent small stuffed animal text phones and watch your will ring the world off its hook.


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League_Girl
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02 Jul 2013, 7:23 am

Texting and phones are more socially acceptable and stuffed animals are not. Anything in the minority is seen as inappropriate. That's why.


Ten years ago it was not okay to play video games in public or at the table but now today it's totally acceptable because lot of people do it now so I can now blend in now with it and have it be considered normal. They use their phones and play games on it so how would a Nintendo DSi be any different or the 3DS?


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YourMajesty
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02 Jul 2013, 7:40 am

Quote:
Texting and phones are more socially acceptable and stuffed animals are not. Anything in the minority is seen as inappropriate. That's why.

Exactly that. There's nothing wrong with the stuffed animal but people like to change the rules of what is acceptable when they feel like it, for instance when you're acting unusual.



BeggingTurtle
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02 Jul 2013, 8:42 am

I still love hugging big stuffed animals in Hallmark or drug stores when they're not in a case.


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Oneiros
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02 Jul 2013, 9:07 am

Yup its definitely about what is socially acceptable. At 14 you are seen as too old to carry a stuffed toy around. But a phone is the norm for teens nowadays.

I tried taking my stuffed toy to school in the first few years. Not a good idea for a boy, which I figured out pretty quickly...