Q: How many sociopaths does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but they manipulate someone else into changing the bulb.
Q: How many psychopaths does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but they force someone else to do it at knife point then laugh when they electrocute themselves on the exposed wires.
Q: How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to sneak into your house and replace it and another fifty to spy on him doing it.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: They see the light already.
Q: How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: They petition a senator to have it done for them.
Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, there is no light bulb.
Q: How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hundreds, all electrocuted before they work out the bayonet fitting on their gun is not supposed to be put into the light socket.
Q: How many computer repair engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to diagnose the problem is with the power supply. A second to redo all the wiring in the house and a third one to put the original bulb back again that still no longer works and a fourth to give you a bill for $10,000 for the work done. A fifth one to handle your complaint about your room still being dark and a sixth one to sell you a torch.
Q: How many French electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to pass on the report of the faulty light bulb to the department of light. A bureaucrat there to send you a ten page form to complete and return to the department of information processing. A bureaucrat there sends the forms back to you requesting further information including copies of your passport, birth certificate and proof of residency at the address specified including copies of several utility bills. Another bureaucrat to process your forms over several weeks. An on-site visit from another bureaucrat to confirm that the bulb isn't working. Finally, in frustration after waiting a year, you visit a local office of the department of light and explain that you are still waiting for the light bulb to be changed and they get you to fill in all the forms again because they have lost the original copies. Six months later an electrician turns up at the house next door and changes the (working) light in their microwave oven much to their bemusement. Finally another bureaucrat to send you a bill for €100 along with a long form for you to complete and to send to the department of reimbursements to get €10 off that amount, provided you respond before a date that passed last month.
Q: How many Wrong Planet moderators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to warn the old bulb about its dim behaviour, a second to ban it and a third to reinstate it a week later under guidance it must shine again or face being permanently replaced.
Q: How many Wrong Planet site owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, eventually, maybe. After waiting six years he responds: "What's wrong with candles? Do I look good in candle light?"
_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.
07 Jul 2013, 12:38 pm
