How do guys deal with this?

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I have never made this mistake but how do guys deal with the fact they have ruined there chances of getting a gf because they are to picky?

For that matter what does ruin your chances mean in general?

hmmm. the meaning of ruining one's chances...
I guess it's when something you think or even are absolutely sure would have worked out (from a relationship to the winning lottery ticket) just dont happen because on your own actions - like not meeting your partner's normal needs or not buying any ticket at all. In these cases the chance is gone - and that's it.

As to this happening because you are too picky, maybe the criticism comes because you have a mistaken idea of what you really need or want - or someone else thinks so. Sometimes fear of failure is the real underlying cause. So you never try.

If you're too picky to go out with someone, then why would you be disappointed when that person didn't want to go out with you? I don't get it.

I never think about that kind of thing, there are too many OTHER ways or ruining your chances of having a girlfriend . =P

Usually I'm not picky enough.

Being "too picky" can often be an expression of your disinclination to involve yourself with something that isn't rock solid guaranteed because you are aware that you often find fault in the "ideals" that other people have expressed to you.
In other words, it is so important to you that you don't want to inflict your usual luck with stuff you are unsure of on it in case you screw it up once and for good.
That is perfectly understandable in the sense that it is a valid and logical point of view. However, it falls down on this - people are inconsistent - this includes prospective romantic/sexual partners. This means that to attempt to prejudge the outcomes of these types of interaction is to attempt to measure the immeasurable.
My advice would be to date anyone you find physically attractive (let's not kid ourselves about the importance of that) and reasonably intellectually/socially (status) compatible and just see what happens. Play the game with them as much as you are comfortable with. People are like onions, they reveal themselves layer by layer. You just have to learn to wait a while and be as agreeable as you can while you wait. Even if it turns out to be a no-no, you will be amazed at what you learn about yourself and other people just by doing it. You will gain friends, new experiences (that you like) and become more able to choose what you REALLY want from someone.
Take your current checklist, savagely reduce it down to maybe 1 or 2 must haves (but be honest about what those are with yourself) and see what happens.
Good luck!
I am a fully paid-up diagnosed Apsie who has been twice married with 2 kids - I have been through it all with them and other girlfriends until I met my current girlfriend who is great - I decided I needed to meet someone pretty and clever who would understand me - and I did. All I did was kiss a few frogs until I found my princess - in other words I dated anyone I thought I could have a fun time with and sort of checked off the things I then knew I didn't want until I was able to decide that the girl I am seeing now is a great fit for me. Most of the women I dated are now friends and that's great. I never thought I would have female friends who are just friends and are happy with that. It's pretty cool.
I am no oil painting (45 years old, 180 cm tall, 275lb) so it can't be a looks thing. It's more a belief thing. Anyway, like I said, good luck mate. Give it a bash

I have this problem where I develop a crush on somebody for some amount of time. If/when they end up showing interest in me, it's like I get "I can do better" syndrome, notice a bunch of flaws about them and get totally turned off. There are a few really great girls I "missed out on" and am kicking myself because of this

I also feel like I might have unreasonably high standards. I think this will be a big problem because I'm bad at approaching people in real life. I'll likely have to find dates on dating sites, but any reasonably attractive girl gets spammed so much that it seems kind of impossible.

I dunno.

It's ok to be picky within reason. You have to ask questions of the other person to guage where their heart is at the moment. Usually a person doesn't want to get involved with another person if they know they will not get the love they desire.
Example: A girl told me recently she was willing to leave her boyfriend for another guy if she saw a potential future with said guy. However, after more probing, she was clearly still in love with him. I obviously told her that any guy like me wouldn't want to pursue a relationship with her if she was still in love with someone else because he would feel like a second option the whole time.