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nickdujunco
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24 Jan 2007, 6:58 pm

i would like to ask around if it is ok to share a funny story (which i unfortunately saw first hand) which contains a lot of swearing? this happened roughly two years ago when i was working in Clark airbase.


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


Tim_Tex
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24 Jan 2007, 7:00 pm

I would probably recommend that you put this thread in the Adult folder, if there's going to be profanity involved.

Tim


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nickdujunco
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24 Jan 2007, 7:08 pm

penitant: bless me father, i have sinned.
priest: go ahead my child, tell me your fears.
penitant: father, everytime i meet a person who believes in God i kill them... do you believe in God father?
priest: WHO?
:D


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


Kosmonaut
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24 Jan 2007, 7:24 pm

So, the Titanic is sinking... a doctor, a lawyer and a priest are running for the last lifeboat.
The doctor notices a group of children running behind them, they are too slow due to smaller legs.
" What about the children? ", the Doctor says.
"F*** the children", the lawyer says.
The Priest: " We haven't got time."



nickdujunco
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24 Jan 2007, 8:19 pm

jesus, peter, john and judas were fishing oneday:

peter: Lord i forgot our sandwiches.
jesus: go
(peter walks on water and returns)

john: Lord i forgot our wine.
jesus: go then.
(john walks on water and returns)

judas: Lord i forgot our bait worms!
jesus: go get them.
(judas steps into the water and sinks)

jesus: did you two forgot to teach judas where to walk? :wink:


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


Roxas_XIII
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24 Jan 2007, 9:01 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:
So, the Titanic is sinking... a doctor, a lawyer and a priest are running for the last lifeboat.
The doctor notices a group of children running behind them, they are too slow due to smaller legs.
" What about the children? ", the Doctor says.
"F*** the children", the lawyer says.
The Priest: " We haven't got time."


There's a similar joke involving the Jackson family...

Michael, Janet, and Tito were flying coach to a concert with a class of kindergardeners when the plane's engine's suddenly failed.
Janet: Quick! Grab a parachute!
Tito: But there's only three! What about the children?
Janet: JUST JUMP! F**K THE CHILDREN!
Michael: *excited* Do we really have time for that?


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nickdujunco
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25 Jan 2007, 1:12 am

Roxas_XIII wrote:
Kosmonaut wrote:
So, the Titanic is sinking... a doctor, a lawyer and a priest are running for the last lifeboat.
The doctor notices a group of children running behind them, they are too slow due to smaller legs.
" What about the children? ", the Doctor says.
"F*** the children", the lawyer says.
The Priest: " We haven't got time."


There's a similar joke involving the Jackson family...

Michael, Janet, and Tito were flying coach to a concert with a class of kindergardeners when the plane's engine's suddenly failed.
Janet: Quick! Grab a parachute!
Tito: But there's only three! What about the children?
Janet: JUST JUMP! F**K THE CHILDREN!
Michael: *excited* Do we really have time for that?


OH MICHAEL!! !! :lol:


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


nickdujunco
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25 Jan 2007, 4:45 pm

a kid was praying inside a church,

k: Lord, please give me a bike. i've been a good boy.

the next day nothing came. so he prayed again inside the church.

k: lord give me a bike, i've been a real good boy.

still nothing came. so the next day (fourth day) the parish priest was about to say mass when he noticed that the blessed virgin mary was missing. on it's stand was a note saying:

"lord, i got your mama. if you wanna see her again give me the bike or mum gets it."


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


nutbag
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28 Jan 2007, 6:59 pm

Lemme try this again, sorry if it half posted: I hit wrong keys on computer.
A joke you actually have to DO:
Go to the fridge,
Grab the milk,
Hold it - at eye level - and off to one side,
Move it, still at eye level, to the other side,
The milk is better and safer, because now it. . .
. . . is past yer eyzed!

nutbag



matt271
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28 Jan 2007, 7:50 pm

nutbag wrote:
Lemme try this again, sorry if it half posted: I hit wrong keys on computer.
A joke you actually have to DO:
Go to the fridge,
Grab the milk,
Hold it - at eye level - and off to one side,
Move it, still at eye level, to the other side,
The milk is better and safer, because now it. . .
. . . is past yer eyzed!

nutbag


My milk is homo :D



nickdujunco
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30 Jan 2007, 1:23 am

a priest was assigned in a very far village in mexico for twenty years. surprissed, the bishop visited this priest and asked:

b: how are you able to last this long?
p: that simple your grace, coffee and rosario (rosary).

so he shouted:

p: ROSARIO! BRINGS US TWO CUPS OF COFFEE!! ! :D


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


nutbag
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30 Jan 2007, 9:12 am

another one you must DO:

go to the kitchen
pick up a pan
say to it: "Pan I see ya'!"
now you can cure anything



nickdujunco
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30 Jan 2007, 6:33 pm

a nun in mexico was reading the roll call for her clas, this is the start of the school year.
she runs into a typo which made it unreadable.

n: juan what is your last name?
j: sister you always hold this.
n: OH MY GOD!! ! THAT IS SO RUDE!! ! THAT IS YOUR LAST NAME? YOU HAVE BALLS FOR LAST NAME?
j: sister? what are you talking about? my last name is rosario? 8O


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beer is the path to the dark side, beer leads to drunkeness, drunkeness to beer tacos, beer tacos to dirty women. once you get a dirty woman on your jock forever will she dominate your destiny!! ! -yoda on one of his beer trips


nutbag
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30 Jan 2007, 7:29 pm

Nasrudin walks into the store and asks the storekeeper: "Have you ever seen me before?"
Storekeeper replies: "No."
To which, nasrudin says: "Then how do you know that it is me?"



JBM
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30 Jan 2007, 9:16 pm

What has 100 feet, 10 teeth, and an IQ of 50?



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