Obsessiveness and AS? Could it develop into stalking?

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So I met this girl on a forum (not saying which one). She was the one who initiated contact with ME and wanted to chat. Well we did keep in touch regularly via IM and such. Also we spoke on the phone but that didn't work out so well because I was too nervous to make any sense those times LOL. During this process I found myself getting fascinated with this girl, not so much because of actually wanting to meet her IRL, that was not even a realistic goal because I knew I wouldnt have the interpersonal skills to handle that kind of situation. It was more like I found the whole thing attractive on an intellectual level, where I could learn more about how women work and think by just having normal conversations. Yeah call it pathetic but even that is something that can be hard for some guys because of the extreme nervousness and poor self-esteem. Hell I've associated with girls before but it would usually end up with me retreating and them thinking of me as weird and love-shy.

I think of it as being just another voluntarily obsession to distract myself from the mundane life around me. And please don't take this the wrong way; I would never have the guts to approach unknown women that I met through the internet, EVER, unless they came up with some miracle self-esteem booster drug.

Anyway is this sort of thing just another AS trait for some guys, where we can approach a male/female situation on a conceptual basis rather then actually doing it out there in the real world? Or do SOME men with AS have the risk of becoming real stalkers?

Well, I am a girl and I am pretty much a stalker.

I wouldnt call it a trait, and I wouldnt worry too much about stalking in real life. What you're doing is applying your obsessive abilities into intellectual areas. Remember, aspies have a problem with relations, much like stalkers and crazies(no disrespect of course to anyone on here) of all kinds, but where we differ is that we have a will or desire to be understood and to understand. We desperatly want to fit in and belong. We want friends. So as long as you explain to people that you are autistic, usually they will understand and be more than happy to give you information about how they think and how they react. You can learn a lot from people as long as you're upfront. Unfortunatly, there are horrible people out there who thrive on making people more miserable then they are and you will run into them from time to time. Just be frank and tell people (online at least) that you're autistic and you dont always ubderstand things. You have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I'm a facebook stalker. If I have a facebook stalker I wish she'd come out. Even if she made a really profane suggestion I doubt she could turn me back off.

I have to try very hard to supress the stalking.

It's normal for some aspies to become obsessed with real people... Unfortunately it's not just limited to a romantic sense either - even when you have a partner the people obsessions continue just as intensely (at least that's been my experience). I think if you're aware of the stalking potential and you're doing what you can not to let it go in that direction (physical IRL stalking), then you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

I don't necessarily see a link between AS and stalking.

Tim

It's not called stalking unless you don't like it.

I found this on Urban Dictionary and it seems pretty right.



It seems to be that the term 'stalker' no longer means what it used to mean--the pathological ANONYMOUS follower and tab-keeper of another person or persons (A detective who has not been hired and has no real reason to follow someone). The old definition also would say that a 'stalker' often has an imaginary connection with the stalkee.

HOWEVER, common usage of the term, along with the term 'creepy', has come to be used as a defense mechanism for anyone seeking justification for not being attracted socially or physically to someone else.

This term is nearly as overdiagnosed as ADHD is in children. Any women who think an undesirable man might be interested in her will almost always automatically label him a stalker.

Note: Far too many idiots think they're more important than they really are. Real stalkers seek out beautiful, interesting, and often famous members of the attractive gender. 90 percent of the people who use the term couldn't get a real stalker to save their lives.

A hot girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is a friend.

An ugly girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is now, according to most, a stalker.

A hot guy who gives you flowers is a romantic.

An ugly guy who gives you flowers is a stalker.

My reasoning and deduction skills, combined with the complete lack of socialization, often led people to accuse me of being creepy and a stalker. But everything was obtained from what was available to everybody else. I was just the one who put it together.

For instance, I had this one particular girl in three of my six classes. Freshmen are bound to a pretty tight set of classes they must take, so it wasn't as if it was very hard to determine what other classes she was in. It was also based on the books that she occasionally carried, as it suddenly became very fashionable to discard the backpack when it came to high school. Lists of grades are sorted in alphabetical order. When she occasionally bragged of the super high score she got on this one assignment, I would look it up, providing a second positive match with her ID number.

My skewed sense of ethics didn't see any of this as wrong, just smart. They, however, ssaw it as totally wrong.

Well let's see I have OCD and AS. You can see how fear and panic can be almost a stalker. The last few girlfriends I had said that I was overcrowding them and being to you know obessed.

I was a stalker {Starbuline, you can stalk me all you please} last school year.
Pretty much I was stalking these two girls who were kind enough to help me in algebra & I thought they were being friendly to me. During the actual stalking, I did everything in the book until the s**t started to hit the fan real bad & they filed a complaint to the vice principal.

I managed to get off with just a warning.

Now, I avoid them as often as I run into them.

Stalking sounds fun, can't be bothered though.