Your most tragic loss

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This one needs no explaining, it's what losses have affected you personally.
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My grandpa died when I was 11; it really hit me hard, he was such a nice fellow. I tried not to cry, but my 11-year-old self just couldn't help it.

My other loss came when my former para-ed assistant from Middle School, Kim Richards died after a several-year bout with breast cancer last June 1st. This came before I joined this site, and I my reaction was a solemn "Oh, damn....." Not to be heartless, I didn't even cry during her memorial service a couple weeks later, I just cracked a smile out of appreciation and out my knowing her, and what she meant to me. My last words to her were just "See you on the other side......"

My best friend that I grew up with (and at the time, only real friend) committed suicide a little over 2 years ago. The one thing that will stick with me for the rest of my life is the look on his mother's face when I spoke to her at the funeral.

My father died the day after I turned 12. He was 42.

Hardly any classmates at the time showed any sympathy towards me and my family, some used my father's death as a reason to bully me. Glad I don't talk to any of those losers anymore.

Only a handful of WP members know about my dad. However, most WP members still believe that I'm lying, which of course I'm not.

I'd have to say when my grandparents died. It was expected, they were both 80-something years old, but I was still young and never got the chance to really know them.

I still wish I could have been born earlier so I could have; they were wonderful people and my dad talks about them all the time.

When I lost both my grandma and my dog within a week... and my mother was going through chemotherapy after a mastectomy during the same time. I just about lost control, fearing that I was going to lose my mom, too. I would have been all alone very suddenly, and being in college at the time, totally clueless about what I would do in that situation.

I had a sibling die when I was about 10 yrs old. It didn't seem like it f****d me up all that much at the time but now I realize it was sort of a defining experience for my whole personality. I have always had a phobia that people I love will suddenly die and I will never see them again. It is hard to deal with this phobia because I know in a way it is a valid fear - anyone CAN die at any time, as I learned as a child.

When my friend Jason died. He was the first person to welcome me when I joined the ysa Ward (Mormon thing , congregation for young singles). We became fast friends. That's not common for me. We went cliff diving together. He always dove head first but I could only go feet first for fears. We went on double dates together , another rare feat And before I came out.

Jason died in a cliff diving accident last May. He was a year younger than me. It was shocking. I couldn't stop crying at the wake. I brought flowers for his widow but could feel nothing for her . I could only think of Jason.

I miss Jason. It's plain unfair that he is gone.
He was without fear. Had tons of friends. I wonder sometimes how a recluse like me lives on after a man as good as Jason is no more.

My child like spirit. Growing up sucks then again it has its perks but I do miss that feeling.

My 1st girlfriend. She was the 1st person I was close to & related somewhat to. I fell into a psychotic depression after the break up.

My lost childhood. At the time, I didn't know what I was missing. Now I realize how different my experiences were from those of ordinary middle-class people and how screwed up my attitudes are.

My biological parents. I was abandoned around 9 months old and was adopted here at 14 months old.

My best friend Bob the Bullmastiff. He was my best friend and taught me so much about being a human being. We had to make the dreaded decision at New Year as he had inoperable cancer. I cried for weeks and I still miss him every day. I am thinking about him a lot today as we are picking up a new Leonberger puppy tommorrow; a girl this time (Ella). I have never cried for a dead human but losing Bob broke my heart.

My maternal grandparents (1991 and 2002).
4 of my pets; Shalom (1995), Nikita (2000), Viggo (2008) and Nemo (2010).

There are still times when the loss of them make me cry.
The loss of Nemo made me go through my first bout of depression ever. Lasted for about two and a half years. Miss them terribly

my freedom

When my grandma died a few years ago.

You know, I was abused so much, it made me hard. Family members have died and I never shed a tear. Pets have died and I never shed a tear. Maybe I'm just a cold, heartless bastard.