Just got fired this morning....

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So I got called into the office this morning and found out my tenure with the company has come to a close thanks to my track record of absences and tardies. But the story doesn't end there, facing an angry parent is not something I look forward too. My mom is high on this kick of "failure is not an option" because it makes her look incompetent to my absent father.

Hence I'm without a job fearing how she'll start talking down to me about getting fired. She gets all worked up and now that I'm taking over some of the bills I won't hear the end of it. None of my family is really supportive of what I want to do, which is to pursue a career in arts as a special effects artist and sending me into the oilfield just invites trouble.

I have bad memories of working in a diesel shop of how the guys picked on me for being different. Get me out onto a rig for a 17 hour day, and I'll be so exhausted and frustrated I'll quit. I know that this town doesn't hold much for me and I'm ready to pack what I can into my truck and hit the road until the gas runs out. I feel so hopeless right now, yet I'm trying desperately to see the bright side of things.

Any advice? Anyone?

Edit:

I completely understand that it looks jumbled up there. I was in quite a state when I wrote this post, so I'm going to clarify. I understand being on time in a necessity, unfortunately I find myself following Willard's example to the T. No matter how much I try I can't seem to get going if it's a job I do not enjoy. Asperger's portion is that I really don't like the work out here and it's tough to come into a place and know that you kind of stick out like sore thumb. Happened before which is part of why I began to slip when things go awry.

Recently there was a big change in which we had no operating store manager, hence I began to feel overwhelmed and I start sleeping later because of how physically and emotionally drained I feel everyday. Mostly I was writing because I wanted a different approach to how disclose being fired to my family, to which I encounter the same opposition again. I get the "I'm disappointed in you" look and the arguments begin. Unfortunately no matter how much I try to educate my parents (I diagnosed only recently), it always ends with me feeling worse and falling into a deep depression for months.

Shortly after this post I did finally disclose it to my family and things very quickly got bent out of shape. I was honest this time, instead of hiding it like last time which caused a bigger fiasco. So hopefully this clears up a few things. ^^;

Last edited by RComplex on 06 Aug 2013, 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not sure exactly where Odessa is, but your opportunities will be multiplied many times over if you can relocate to some place like Dallas or Austin. Both places would probably be more tolerant of those who are "different" and there would definitely be a wider range of work available. Working on an oilfield seems hellish; there are better ways to make money.

Yeah oilfield work sounds quiet hellish, so is working in 111 degree heat on a parking lot this last week is too . I love Austin It's an awesome place. No other place in the world has a death metal pizza parlor . I'll definitely have to start looking there as well since it's a big film town. Not sure about how go about moving there though... I feel lost on that point right now.

Thanks for your input though . Yeah Odessa is in the middle of nowhere West Texas. There's nothing but desert for miles in all directions >.>

Sorry to hear that.

But, who knows, you may actually be closer to your life goal of becoming a special effects artists. Working on an oilfield in the the middle of nowhere is too much about money....unless it just happens to mesh with some special interest...

Overheard at my job this morning:

"I might have to let Robin go."

This was uttered by the Director of Nursing to one of the supervisors and overheard by a nurse who told me.

Yeah. My head's on the chopping block. If I get fired it'd be for incompetence.

I guess I'd better take the hint and start looking elsewhere.

An oilfield gig may not be so bad.

Oilfield isn't all that's it cracked to be. I used to wash dishes with a guy who had been fired two weeks after he was hired on the rig. Happens when they cut back on the rigs, basically they told the entire crew to pack up and they were fired >.>

Odessa is in West Texas.

I think you need to address the issue of absences and tardies. Places like Austin and Dallas are more welcoming, but attendance and showing up when expected are expected of everyone. You may find more tolerance for being different, but not for excessive lateness.

Oilfield work is hot and hard, and they don't tolerate lateness.

Mostly I was late because its so far from my house. Other reasons was the recent turmoil over the new management coming in. I wasn't receptive to the change as much I hoped. I have some coping skills, but I tend to forget when and where to use them. I was diagnosed shortly after I was hired on, so I didn't disclose out of fear of being treated differently. Would you recommend a new routine before I go in search of a new job?

Austin is the place to be, especially for the kind of creative field you're really interested in pursuing. I lived there for most of my adult life and I dearly love it. Very bright and creative community and Aspie's fit in there. But as someone else said, lateness and absences don't go across well no matter how loosey-goosey a work environment or city is. But then again, when you're in a job you hate, those things come too easily, while in a job you love you'll find tardiness and absence coming up less for you.

Rcomplex, I think your confusing two issues.

Your lateness and absences with aspergers.

Employers expect you to be on time, or to call if your going to be late. They understand people need to take days off sometimes, and are sick, but they don't want it to become a habit.

Your also concerned about your employers judging you because of your aspergers. This is a valid concern, but harder to relate to the first thing. A change in job search strategies doesn't solve the underlying problem of being fired for lateness.

I would suggest working on strategies to avoid lateness. One I would recommend would be to make a point to arrive 10 minutes early. train yourself that your shift actually starts 10 minutes before. If you live in an area with heavy traffic, perhaps 15-20.

Not Necessarily. Now the absences I can't identify with, I was never absent from work unless I was deathly ill, but I loved my job and I hate lying because I'm not any good at it.

OTOH, I have always had a problem arriving at the same time every day. Not radically tardy, mind you, I just cannot adhere to a strict schedule and no mind-trick, like setting clocks ahead or getting ready hours early ever made the least bit of difference. I cannot explain it, but I know it is not intentional or even a conscious desire to be late - nobody likes getting yelled at, or fired, or even daily dirty looks, but even if I manage to get out the door with time to spare, I will get down the road and suddenly realize I've forgotten something vital and have to go back, making myself 10 minutes late. It never fails. Something in my brain refuses to punch a clock.

I can wake up at the same time every day with no alarm clock, but I cannot be on time to work 2 days in a row. Ironically, I am so focused once I get there, that I can get two to three times as much work accomplished as the NTs who sit there gossiping and giggling and showing each other their kids' photos and blathering about television shows all day. But it doesn't matter than you can come in later and still be finished earlier, with more work done, than anyone else in the building. Its the clock that matters, not your efficiency.

In any case, I do think that these things can sometimes be caused by glitches within the brain itself. Its not always just sloth or a bad attitude.

Unfortunately, I have no suggestions as to how to change it.

Being late is a thing I hate at my job as I cannot leave until relieved ( I answer 911 phones so someone has to be there!). For a while we had a terrible problem with tardiness and I was melting down every day at work, forced to stay over waiting for colleagues to show up. We got a new manager and suddenly it was no longer a problem. Being late because you hate work seems to me is pretty "normal" behavior, and NTs indulge in it as much as anyone from my observation. I have trouble getting motivated to leave the house when the atmosphere at work is poisonous -random work drama is everywhere- so perhaps finding a welcoming job might solve the tardiness? That said I haven't been late more than twice in 9 years and I have the longest commute of anyone in my 911 center so maybe I really am weird!

Being stressed can be related to tardiness, especially if you have evening and morning hours. After my evening shift on one job, I was so stressed out that on two occasions, I slept in. I never could get a night's sleep on that shift due to the overwhelmingly negative things that were constantly said... it would take me six hours to feel good about myself, then 'rise and shine...time for the morning switch'. Having the same routine every night helps.

Being upfront with your new managers about having Asperger's once you have been hired and things have started to go wrong has worked for me. But I was positive and had already shown I worked hard. Having a job coach through a local autism or learning disabilities association can work too.

Self knowledge is the most important thing, you should consider looking into what your triggers are so that you can keep a job.