Hello to you all.

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Hi, I'll start by stating that internet forums aren't really my thing, (mild dyspraxia, not very good at typing), but then again I've never come across a forum that's been as relevant to me as this one.

So here it goes;

I first came across the possibility that I had Asperger Syndrome about 3 years ago, I was reading an online article about Gary McKinnon, and the fact that he had AS, I was curious about AS and googled it, and when I began reading through the traits/characteristics of AS I was completely floored, almost literally, I nearly fell of the chair I was sitting on. There it was, in plain sight........me!

After getting over the initial shock I then did the online AQ test, at first answering the questions conservatively and easily scoring more than 30 then I did it again, answering the questions in complete honesty and scoring a whacking 45 out of 50.
So there it was, at the ripe old age of 40, I had discovered I had a "neurobiological condition".

I then got hold of a copy of Tony Attwood's Complete Guide To AS but I couldn't read it, I would randomly open the book and start reading but then I would throw the book down, realizing it was all to close to the bone. I tried my best to deny the obvious but after about a year I decided I had nothing to lose and decided to pursue a diagnosis.

And, so, earlier this year I was diagnosed, at the age of 42, with AS.

I wouldn't say that it's the best thing that ever happened to me but as a framework for understanding myself and my life, (I can only describe my life as a car crash that got hit by a train wreck!! !! !) an AS diagnosis has been absolutely priceless and I am slowly beginning to disentangle myself from the wreckage of a life lived totally out of kilter.

Any help, advice and encouragement, especially from other members who have had a late diagnosis, would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers

Caleb

Hi ya and Welcome.

Welcome! I saw your profile, and I am also very interested in human origins and prehistory! I can't help with late diagnosis, though, A. because I am undiagnosed, and B. because I am not sure it would be exactly what you are considering late.

My cousin's name is also "Caleb", but he spells it with a "K", so it is "Kaleb"

You're in good company, there are several of us here at WP diagnosed well into adulthood. Someone emailed me a link to a web article on Asperger Syndrome when I was 45, with the header "Read This, It Sounds Like You." My reaction was much like yours - It didn't just "sound like" me - it gave me chills. It gave me the creepy feeling that someone had been following me around for years, observing my every behavior, taking notes and creating an analytical personality profile based entirely on me.

It wasn't until a few years later, when my career of 30+ years was disappearing from under my feet, that I found myself forced to look for something new that I could do. In order to get help from the state rehab agency, I had to see a therapist to get my chronic depression diagnosed and I asked her to make a note in my file and see if she thought my suspicions of AS were accurate. Needless to say, not only did she agree, she sent me to the staff psychologist to be tested and officially diagnosed. That was a couple months after I turned 49, five years ago.

The first year or so was kinda weird. One one hand, I was elated to finally have a name for the handicaps that had plagued me all my life, thrilled to have confirmation that it wasn't just flaws in my personality that had kept me so alienated and apart from the rest of the world, but an actual neurological condition that I shared with others. Then the realization set in that it was, in fact, my brain that was miswired and nothing was ever going to change the way I am, which was kind of sad and depressing, even though it was ridiculous to feel that way, since I had come to that conclusion on my own decades ago.

Then there was the sensation every time I went out in public, that everyone I passed could see my Autism, like everything I did or said, every gesture I made just screamed "I'M AUTISTIC!" Which again, was stupid, because while it was probably true, it had been true all my life and worrying about it now was just silly.

Anyway, I think I've pretty much adjusted to the new reality now, which in the end, is the old reality, with a new vocabulary and a deeper understanding of what has made me the person that I am. Its quite an adventure. Welcome aboard!

Welcome

That is very funny, because we always have to explain it to people, too! "That's Kaleb... With a 'K' " he'll say to somebody if they are writing him in on a birthday card note or something! He always has to say that if we are at a burger place, too, and they write you name on the bag? He is only about four months younger than me. In some languages, I forget which ones (Turkish, maybe?), My real name means "ugly", "garbage" and "worthless"! haha, if I ever go there, I will have to go by my middle name, or something different all together!

I don't have any sort of professional diagnosis, but for as long as I can remember, My mother will say to me, when I am spinning, humming, or doing my hands really fast, "Stop that! Stop acting like an autistic child!" or, because I hate hospitals and tend to get under a sheet or sit on the floor if I can, "What, do you want to make (insert relative here)'s doctors to think you are mentally ill/autistic?" Jeez, whats the bfd about being autistic anyway, if all it means is I want to sit under the hospital bed, hold my dad's hand and hum? No harm done...
I also told my best friend, whom I have known since I was two, about the suspicions of the psych, and he said, "Asperger's? No, you're just weird, thats all. I knew a boy who was an Asperger, he didn't... Function! You are just really strange." haha, so I guess I am a great actor too. Since toddlerhood!

Well I hope this one keps you interested. Welcome