Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

question for friendzone guys

Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

amazon_television
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,605
Location: I woke up on 7th street

10 Aug 2013, 11:25 am

I honestly have not been "friend zoned" many times.

It's not that I'm an especially good looking dude or whatever, I'm not, and I haven't dated or hooked up with a ton of girls or something, I just generally don't give a s**t and am turned too inward for me to be useful to anyone in that context.

The one time that kills me though was a friend of mine from grad school, a burning hot Latvian chick, everyone bailed out on dinner plans one night except for me, and I went to dinner with her simply because she called me upset that everyone else ducked out.

That was the advance context, and should have been perceived as such, but when I agreed to go I was crippled stoned and tilted out by basically everything in the restaurant. She clearly thought that I was bent out of shape because I was nervous being out with her. That wasn't the case, but still FRIEND ZONE on the spot.

Sucked. I had an outside legitimate chance with her, and it was instantly torched because I went out under questionable circumstances just to be nice. Man that girl was banging, it was a pretty rough way to lose out on the potential.


_________________
I know I made them a promise but those are just words, and words can get weird.
I think they made themselves perfectly clear.


albedo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jul 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 293

10 Aug 2013, 12:00 pm

amazon_television wrote:
Sucked. I had an outside legitimate chance with her, and it was instantly torched because I went out under questionable circumstances just to be nice. Man that girl was banging, it was a pretty rough way to lose out on the potential.


Listen to yourself, you are almost blaming her because you were able to use the occasion however you might have done everything right, and she still might not be interested.

I think you are kidding yourself that the perfect scenario would have come up, and if only you have gone to that instead of this.

lol at "outside legitimate choice" though, I don't wish kick you when your down, it is just a comedic phrase in its own right. I have to use it, in other scenarios other than this.



amazon_television
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,605
Location: I woke up on 7th street

10 Aug 2013, 1:44 pm

:lol:

The phrase I used was "outside legitimate chance" not "outside legitimate choice", which may have been a typo on your part but there is a difference.

But at any rate I hear you 100%, "perfect scenarios" are few and far between, and I always fail in any scenario that doesn't fall into that category.

Maybe you got me wrong though, I discussed the matter exactly as it was and maybe didn't express it correctly (which is my bad). It would have required a "perfect scenario" with her, and even if that happened I know for sure that it wouldn't have lasted. It's just funny to me in retrospect because it was basically the worst scenario ever.

She's to blame? :lol: I am the one who got stoned first thing in the morning and forgot about dinner plans. She's golden, s**t happens.

Also I fully support your use of "outside legitimate choice/chance". Good call. It is ridiculous but it definitely summarized that situation, for better or worse.


_________________
I know I made them a promise but those are just words, and words can get weird.
I think they made themselves perfectly clear.


Mack27
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 382
Location: near Boston Massachusetts USA

11 Aug 2013, 5:10 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Mack27 wrote:
If you are friend-zoned by a girl you can use that to meet other girls, her friends. You immediately overcome the "creep" hurdle with these other girls by being a friend of a friend.

That's how it works in friendships, but not in the friend zone; I distinguish between the two. A male-female friendship is just like a same-sex friendship, except the two people use different locker rooms when they go to a swimming pool, and unlike two guys, they can dance together. A friend zone is when the girl gets all the advantages of having a boyfriend (someone to confide into emotionally, car repairs, occasional free dinners, etc.), but doesn't have to do anything in return (sexual intimacy). The guy gets less than he would get from a traditional friendship: he can't talk about guy topics, he always has to put his best foot forward, etc. A friendship is mutual; the friend zone is one-sided.

So, a girl who's keeping a guy in the friend zone (as opposed to being his friend) has more to gain from not introducing him to her friends than from doing so. After all, if gets into a relationship, she'll lose the emotional venting target (a.k.a. "tampon"), the car repairs, and the occasional free dinners. Plus, more often than not, she doesn't respect him enough to let her friends get to know him (e.g. "he's too nice for my friends to date him"). What you're saying is true for a friendship, but not for the friend zone.


You know, now that I think about it, you're absolutely right. Thinking back, this has been done to me. I guess I "pushed" myself out of that friend-zone into actual friendship by making friends of her friends.