Why are guys so obsessed with losing their virginity?

Post Reply New Topic

Something I've noticed on here is that guys are woeful that they've never had sex. Whereas I don't care whether I have sex or not. I'm more concerned that no guy wants to spend time talking to me and getting to know me and want to be around me enough to build a relationship with.

Hell, sex would be good with this imaginary guy that wants to spend time with me, but it's more important to me that I find someone that I feel comfortable with. I don't trust people in general. I've had some pretty cruel people in my life, so enjoying the company of someone of the opposite sex who I feel safe and comfotable with is a big deal to me.

I also find people difficult to talk to, so meeting someone that I feel safe enough to be myself with and just talk away to without being judged is also very important to me.

Sex is way down my list. But seems to be the top of the list for alot of men here.

Ok, so I think society has a skewed view of sex and men can feel pressure, and feel like they aren't a man if they are a virgin, but that is a load of crap guys! Being a man, a real man, is about so much more than that. Meaningless sex is just that; meaningless.

Men of a young age are under a lot of pressure from:
-Family
-Friends
-Society
-Random people you have just been introduced to
- The list goes on.


When a male shows signs of being a virgin he is usually mocked by those around him about it(mocking can become quite discreet after a certain age but it doesnt just go away)

This leads to young males thinking that all their problems come from their oh so shameful virginity and everything will be sorted once they do the deed. Which leads to desperation about not being able to lose it and so on.


Some girls under a lot of family pressure(unlike males females do not tend to look down on each other for not being sexually active which takes a bit of the pressure) can react a bit similarly about being virgins.

I just think that it's terrible that they are made to feel that way. There is so much that they have to offer and they are being reduced to this one thing. It's not fair!

One word.
Testosterone.
It's a hormone, and it works like a drug; it drives behaviour including the biological imperative to reproduce.
Aspies are more intellectual about sex than most NT's so we are more picky about sex, who we have it with, and why we have it.
You just need to resist peer group pressure, and accept the hormones trying to make decisions for you and others, and be true to what you really think and feel.

No one can decide what's right for you, only you can do that, so be careful whose advice you take.
So long as you're not breaking any laws, such as age of consent, and you follow your conscience you should be fine.
Just remember too, that pregnancy is only one unwanted consequence of unprotected sex; there are a lot of sexually transmitted infections out there, some of which can be nasty and stay with you for life, some like HIV can even kill you.
You don't need to be paranoid, but you do need to be careful, both who you have sex with, and when.

Better to be an older virgin than a younger sufferer from disease.

Your not a lad till you lose it I was fed up and frustrated one day so I paid a prostitute I didn't enjoy it

Because that way they will feel like they are 'accepted', wanted and somehow normal.

I don't understand the one about Women's judgement of mans worth.
I think that if a man has the strength to wait for the right person then he has worth. To fight against what everyone thinks you should do and then do your own thing shows strength and individuality. But then I'm not wired like the people around me. Women don't get me either.

I understand a man's concern that if no one thinks they are attractive enough to have sex with at 20 then when they meet a woman at 25 she might think why has no one else had him what's wrong with him? but I don't know why someone's worth would be anything to do with how other people saw him. If she fancies him, who cares if no one else does? If I fancy a man it's not because other people fancy him, which is why I can be attracted to older men and my friends pull faces like, "oh man, he's old what's wrong with you?" I don't care what they think. If I like him, I like him, it's none of their business. Btw I'm talking 50 not 80...

just to say they have.when I lost mine,I actual cried,because I
couldn't believe it happen.having sex is something I've glad I done.
only had one sex partner,but it's better than none.

I do care, but not so much as to pay a woman for it. I feel as though I would have to earn it, make her happy, and not feeling coerced into it. It would make me feel extremely joyful if she enjoyed it, that part is more important than actually losing the v-card at all.

I didn't care at all because I didn't socialize enough to feel social pressure. Then, I felt more social pressure and then lowered my standards to rock bottom. Then, it happened. Then, I gradually worked my way up and then declared a moratorium: no more sex unless I really like the person and care about them. Which actually means very little or no sex. lol

PEOPLE's judgement of the worth of a PERSON is based on THAT PERSON's sexual presentment, sexual orientation, and overall sexual sophistication!! !

Are we all finished now? Can we stop with this stupid re-editting of each other's posts? Have we all grown up yet?

Boys and girls are under hormonal, societal, cultural, familial and peer pressures to lose their virginity before they've learn sexual responsibility, and usually before they even know what healthy relationships are all about.

It's a miserable way to live, but it's what we have.

Now, does anyone else have a cure for this sad, sordid state of affairs?