Obsessed with particular classmates
My son (in Kindergarten) has been causing problems for another boy, always wanting to sit next to him and play with him. A month or two ago it was a different boy but then he stopped being obsessed with him and has moved on. Anyhow, I guess he always wants to sit next to or play with this little boy and the boy doesn't like it (or doesn't like so much of it, I'm not sure) but he's a rather fragile, shy boy who can't really stick up for himself. The child he was obsessed with before had a stronger personality and dealt with it better, but little boy isn't able to shake my son's attentions so well. My son isn't mean but he's FORCEFUL. He's got a very strong personality, a whole lot of enthusiasm, and not many social skills. It pretty much adds up to unintentional bullying, I think.
He does a one-on-one peer play at OT and we do have friends we play with once a week, so he has opportunities for building social skills, but how do we address this problem specifically? His other obsessions haven't been a problem, but this could really turn into something ugly if it's not dealt with. If anybody has input, I'd love to hear it. Thanks in advance.
Hi,
My 5 yr old also in Kindergarden has done some similar things such as wanting to hug on newly found friends, and when they shrug away, he doesn't seem to understand...so, I tell him " they like you, son, but sometimes people have to get to know you before they'll hug you". That usually helps, but I must say, it can be heartbreaking when I watch his outward gestures of friendliness go misunderstood by children. Usually they look at him as if he's wierd, but I'll tell those kids that that's just his way of saying he wants to be your friend...and once in a while that helps too.
Intel he is aware he lacks social skills, he can not create them. The best way to remove an obsetion is to replace it, unless you don't really care for your kid. I have found that gifts/objects have changed my obsetion the easiest. Does he have a pet? If you get him a pet, try to have it be sudden but not BOOM HERE IS A PET!! ! As soon as you see interest in it feed him ALL the information on it you can. In the sudden-ness, you don't want to freek him out, you know him better then I. If a birthday is coming up take advantage of it. Try to make it something unique, I had giniue pigs. Look for somthing with a long life span.
At that age my son was obsessed with a boy named Matthew. Poor Matthew had a little shadow everywhere he went, everything he did, everytime he talked...BOOM...there was my son. We tried helping ds incorporate some space (we called it popping a bubble...that everyone has a bubble around them and if you get too close or you're always there...you pop their bubble and they don't like that....it actually made great sense to him) but eventually he just outgrew it. Now (at 8 ), no obsessions with people.
Hi, My son is in grade 3 and he has had these obsessions with certain classmates, every year it is usually a different one. He will follow him around even though he tells him not too he doesnt like it, but he is still persistent. The boy gets angry at times and yells at him but Aaron just laughs at him, it is like he cant understand what he is saying.
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