It's taken me a decade but I only volunteer with people/associates/friends for things I know I'll excel at. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going somewhere to flaunt about, just that I know I won't fail miserably there. Today I'm driving a friend to buy a model airplane, he pays gas, food, etc. I get company with another "likely" aspie, and it's all subject matter I can swim in.
I avoid things like Halloween, and holiday parties, as I know the subjects may drift where I don't want to go.
Just pick to do what you've been comfortable with in the past, and kick your own butt out the door to go do again what you were successful (or at least not uncomfortable with) before.
_________________
I see my patterns afterwards. This doesn't mean I figured myself out, only In the moments I've repeated similar mistakes, do patterns emerge. I find in solace the harmony. In musical patterns lie the synchronization with adults. Song is talk.