Where do smart men hang out?

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I am in a fairly small town, no museums or real culture areas. I am not a member of a church and all I have seen at the grocery store is Hispanic house wives. My mother told me to go to lowes, that it would be crawling with men, but it wasn't. Where can I go to meet men? Not just boys but smart, caring men? I tried going to a bar a few times, not good experiences, drunk people are scary and not smart at all. Not to mention the noise, moving lights and throngs of chaotic, loud, drunk people were a recipe for meltdowns. No, I can't do bars well at all.
And once, I find this mythical place with men, how the heck do I get them to talk to me, I have tried a few times and failed miserably. I might say something about something I see them holding, such as a cool movie, get a one line response, then... Then what? How do I get them to talk to me?

Genius, where you go to meet smart men depends on what your interests are. I would recommend the Internet since it essentially places the world at one's fingertips. If you are interested in meeting men in person for romantic reasons, I can recommend either a decent book store or your local library. But, again, it depends on what your particular interests are.

The prettiest girl I ever dated I met in a book store near Rice University in Houston. I was standing in the philosophy section, eyed her, and just for grins, I picked up a copy of Martin Heidegger's "Being and Time" and started casually thumbing through it. That caught her attention, and thoroughly impressed her. I bought one of the two copies, and she the other, and we exchanged phone numbers. Though the relationship didn't work out, we did date for a while. What it did do was get her attention, and broke the ice.

Good luck.

A place where the men who are both smart and caring?

At home with their wives and families, of course!

I haven't really seen many men at the library. I saw one once, but didn't get his name or number, I saw one other cute guy but on closer inspection he had a wedding band. Maybe I'll try the books store sometime, though the two times I went in it was deserted (Used books, and they wont order more, they didn't have a copy of the half blood prince or any books on autism so I have no real reason to go.)

Living in a strong hunting culture, I can tell you that the first rule of hunting is to go wherever what you wish to catch can be found. The second rule is patience--much patience. The third rule is to act in a manner that will attract, rather than scare off, your quarry.

What are your special interests? And do you live in a small town or big city?

Without wanting to demean my own kind ....
Men will go where there are women. If a bar is empty or has no women, men won't go there and the ones already there will slowly leave.
If a party has no women, men will leave. If a supermarket or mall has no women, guys will just buy whatever they need and get the hell out of there instead of leisurely shopping around. And the list generally goes on and applies to a lot of public spaces and events.

So maybe the library will be a good starting point, but you'll have to be the one that hangs out there first and regularly. A man will come along eventually.
Of course if it's not a library you prefer maybe you could try this with somewhere else you find more intellectually stimulating. If you're patient, doing so will net you guys you have common ground with, unlike the random drunk guys you find in bars.

I live in a small southern city. My special interests are animals, children (boy that sounds bad) folk lore, history, biology, medicine, and japan. No museums in town. No zoos. Should I just loiter at the hospital or outside the travel agency (sarcasm) that's the problem, I don't know where to go! or how to approach them when I find them. I don't have a car so that is very limiting to. I am on three online dating sites but having no luck there either.
the children thing is that I love kids and desperately want to be a mom, I have studied everything I can get my hands on on parenting and would be an awesome mom but I have to find a mate first. And no that's not my only reason for wanting a man.

I would get in touch with your local chamber of commerce, or city hall, and request a list of civic organizations in your area. There may be groups that share your interests, particularly in folk lore and local history.

As a female, you are actually the hunted rather than the hunter. So, I would recommend you make yourself as attractive to the kind of men you wish to attract as possible. My recommendation for doing this would be spending a lot of time at your local mall observing the wives and girlfriends of the kind of men you want to attract. You need to dress and wear makeup like they do, adopt their mannerisms and speech ways, and lose weight and work out if necessary. You do these things, and the men should find you if you make yourself available.

Good luck.

Honestly, where I live, I NEVER see girls get approached in book stores or even libraries. First of all it needs to be quiet. Second, it seems like everyone is doing their own thang in thurr.

You serious? I think most men do as they please. Are we talking about teenagers or men? Sheesh.

I put guys for that particular one because it applies to younger generations. Men tend to do as they please as you rightly said. Regardless, just an example. Nothing to cry about.

There are no places here to meet smart men.The library usually has women in it.The only bookstore in town is a Christian bookstore owned by the End Time Handmaidens.

I will say that this girl was the only one I ever picked up in a book store, but it did happen. Again, it's a matter of much patience. Good things come to those who wait.

As far as libraries go, I run one. While I'm not looking myself, I have personally known several women to find dates here, though you are right that I'm not running a meat market. There is even one who comes in here who is interested in me. I have somebody already though.

So, I must respectfully disagree on both counts.

Probably wouldn't work in a small town but around here the hockey rink/store is the most overlooked place (substitute that for your local favorite sport). Contrary to the stereotype, many hockey players are both extremely intelligent AND single. I know because I know about half the adult hockey players in my city. It's a freaking goldmine and guys like that love an audience! I should know because I was one for many years. Some of the best people I know are hockey players and the reason many of them play so much? They are SINGLE! Yes, they are in the minority (the majority are married) but they are out there and many are a prime catch who aren't interesting in sleeping around. What's best is they will have their guard down and you will see their true personality.

While obviously you won't find that in many places outside Canada, there must be a local equivalent.

If you met men at Lowes, they would be married men, buying things to complete their 'Honey Do' lists, or migrant workers looking for odd jobs (or is that Home Depot?).


Are you implying there are no smart men here on WP?

On Wrong Planet!