Can stalking lead to happy ending?
One of my recent favourite romcoms is This Means War with Reese with a spoon and two hot guys (ahem). Anyhow, not to spoil the plot too much, during the course of romance development, there is a fair amount of invasion of heroine's privacy going on which she does sort of get clued in at the end, although maybe not in all the detail.
Happy ending happens and everyone lives happily ever after (it is a romcom) but I am still struggling with this concept of someone stalking you, invading your privacy behind your back and yet that not being detriment to a happy relationship. Am I just too private? Is it normal to stalk your prospective romantic partners? (I know few who answer yes to this without a beat) Is there a line?
Lets say I meet someone on the forum and they like me and they are a hacker so help themselves into my computer and have a little look around. That's like breaking into someone's house, reading their private diary, going through their photos, their underwear drawer and their bank account information at the very least.
Am I just too old fashioned in thinking I could never feel comfortable with someone who did that?
What do you guys think?
No, that could never lead to a happy ending, because the act of invading someone's privacy like that is a clear sign that the stalker does not respect the VICTIM as an individual, in fact views them as property to be manipulated, conquered and owned. You cannot have a happy relationship with someone like that, because they cannot be trusted.
People who think like that are selfish, controlling, unable to accept compromise or rejection and ultimately dangerous. It might make for black comedy, but there is nothing 'romantic' about that.
Last edited by Willard on 03 Nov 2013, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If you want a happy ending go to a massage parlor!
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
Happy ending happens and everyone lives happily ever after (it is a romcom) but I am still struggling with this concept of someone stalking you, invading your privacy behind your back and yet that not being detriment to a happy relationship. Am I just too private? Is it normal to stalk your prospective romantic partners? (I know few who answer yes to this without a beat) Is there a line?
Lets say I meet someone on the forum and they like me and they are a hacker so help themselves into my computer and have a little look around. That's like breaking into someone's house, reading their private diary, going through their photos, their underwear drawer and their bank account information at the very least.
Am I just too old fashioned in thinking I could never feel comfortable with someone who did that?
What do you guys think?
I have never heard of anyone who stalks someone they like and their victim falls in love with them. I know if someone did that to me, I would run for the hills. I had no clue getting into peoples personal things is stalking. I just thought it was rude and an invasion of privacy and they don't have manners or have poor social skills and have no concept of privacy. Also breaking into someone's home is illegal. Even computer hacking is illegal.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
I'd like to understand what makes this Great Guy (TM) so great that it is possible to overlook the stalking? (unless they are Zane Donovan, in which case all bets are off)
^ Probably highly superior social skills and an impeccable amount of charm on the borderline of being a sociopath.
Which means that for the other 99% people (which is probably clsoe to 100%), there's no way you could stalk someone and expect the person to like you, for the reasons listed throughout this thread.
Ho hum. I don't think it can lead to a happy ending. Someone stalking you to figure you out and tailor their approach to your needs and desires is somewhat the equivalent of grooming. Internet predators do that. Yes if they look good, and are charming about it sadly almost nobody will care but it does not make the things I just mentioned untrue. It's down to the individual whether or not they can live with someone like that.
Waitttt? Is it really possible to do that? Is it that easy to hack into someone's computer just from the profile on this forum????
Im a guy. Even I cant stand being stalked. A needy clingly strange young lady used attach herself to me. Not quite stalking, but like that. We managed to be friends of sorts. But I couldnt stomach being romantic with her. Now that she is married to another guy and I havent seen her for years it has occured to me that we were compatible in some ways. But thats intellect. Not emotion. I dont daydream about her (nor nightdream either). Her stalking-like behavior just killed it.
I'd like to understand what makes this Great Guy (TM) so great that it is possible to overlook the stalking? (unless they are Zane Donovan, in which case all bets are off)
I bet plenty of girls would forgive Johnny Depp for stalking them.
Stalking has very sinister implications - some people trivialise it as a joke, or think that it's some sort of ego boost - almost like a person must be worth something if they are getting stalked!
My father-to-be stalked my mother-to be for quite a while, cleverly and patiently isolating her from friends and family, and using violence, threats and emotional blackmail against anyone who stood in her way - until she was worn down and finally agreed to marry him. It all started at her birthday party, when some well-meaning fool invited the workplace creep along, who had tried it on with most of the women there and got rebuffed. Happy birthday, indeed.
Obviously, I wouldn't have been born if that sickening behaviour had not transpired, and, quite frankly, if given some God-like choice in the matter, I could choose to swap that for the situation we ended up living in, with a complete nutjob, then I think that would be a fair price to pay.
There was no happy ending in this case. Glorifying stalking, even in a 'harmless' film, is a dangerous game to play.
On the other hand, there are obviously different shades of 'stalking', and to lump in looking at someone's past post, for instance, with the above is, of course, patently absurd. My take is this - anything is possible, but is it likely? Clearly by participating in online activities, one accepts a small risk and will be cautious without being paranoid - then again, perhaps I'm being naive to the way the internet is now, as to opposed to the way it used to be.
Also, some marriages come about because the man wouldn't say no, and the woman actually liked this persistence, as it showed he cared and was 'into her'. I see this is creepy, but each to their own.
Perhaps there needs to be new terms for different 'levels' of it. I mean, murder is murder and rape is rape. Anytime I see the term 'stalking', obviously, it makes me think of the worst case scenario, and this thread is no exception. Maybe that's my problem and I should laugh about it? I don't think I can.
I was stalked by an ex-boyfriend once. It really started to frighten me and made me angry because I was powerless to stop it. (I'm a control freak).
I had broken up with him because one night he got drunk and smacked me. I don't like drunkenness. I won't date drunks. He refused to accept that I had dumped him.
Things he did:
He stood outside my house and leaned on the doorbell for about fifteen minutes straight. My flatmate had to disconnect it.
He ordered flowers to be sent to my house and accompanied the florist doing the delivery and the florist refused to let me send the flowers back. They were forced upon me. He had talked the florist into being on his side.
He waited outside my house standing in the corner of the street, looking at my window waiting for me to go out.
Every time I left the house he followed me, acting as though we were still in a relationship, holding my hand and forcefully carrying my shopping bags for me, even though I kept trying to push him away and yelled at him to leave me alone.
Following me all around the supermarket...talking to me as though we were still together... following me to the station, following me all along the carriage of the train as I tried to get away from him...blackmailing me into trying to get back together by refusing to return certain belongings unless I got back together with him....
Thankfully this behaviour didn't last for more than a few weeks. I really feel it for anyone who's been stalked over a period of months or years.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Happy May Day! |
02 May 2024, 2:12 am |
Happy Father's Day!! |
Yesterday, 6:50 pm |
Happy Father's Day! |
Yesterday, 7:39 pm |
Happy Cinco De Mayo |
06 May 2024, 4:42 am |