Being A Baby About The "Womanly Test"?

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Pap Smears are an awful concept; they do not, at any time to *any* woman, sound pleasant. The mere mention of the procedure sends my skin into a crawling fit, and my pelvis automatically tightens in a very big, "NO".

I have had luck with two out of the past three people who have attempted a Pap Smear on me: both very patient, and both willing to stop once they realized I simply don't have room. What size did they use? I don't know to be honest, I just know it didn't even make it very far in there, and being a virgin does not help things. The only time I had a bad experience was with a nurse I think: I have no idea what size she used, all I know is at the time it hurt me. I felt so horribly exposed and in pain laying there crying despite the fact that she was at the end of that fancy table trying to calm me while she took a sample.

I vowed never again to let anyone try that, and now I hear that I should really re-consider. My Mother's doctor (whom I've come to adore and trust) told her she would more than likely run a Pap on me. I asked my Mother why she would be so pressed about it as other doctors I'd come into contact with weren't too worried about it. She then informed me that while I am not at risk for STDs or getting pregnant at this point, I fall into the lovely category of women who now run the risk of developing cervical cancer due to my age. Great.

A friend of mine did show my what the 'virgin' sized speculum looks like...really skinny looking thing, not too frightening to look at but I imagine it's a much different story when its in there. Do you all think I'm being a tad more nervous than I ought to be about this? I mean, I trust the woman whose going to be doing this, but I just freak and get the jitters every time I think about myself having to lie there. The position is a vulnerable one they have you in: i already know that's a big part of my problem, but at the same time I do *not* want to see the thing coming for the spot between my legs. Another thing I heard is that nurses are present during these particular tests. It's gonna be hard enough being in that position in front of a friend, so I'm completely un-cool with having a stranger in the room during something so terribly private. I know my doctor wants it done to protect me, and I know it should be done...but holy crud

This is what I do . . .

I close my eyes and envision myself laying under a tree, atop a grass covered mountain and a vivid, bright blue sky.
I take slow breaths while I am laying there, staring up at the sky, through the limbs of the tree. There is a light breeze blowing and the warm sun is beating down on my face. This works for me. I believe some people would refer to it as a form of meditation.
Best wishes to you -

Pap smears used to be impossible for me until I found out that a speculum designed for children exists. If you are going to get a pap smear, I recommend that you call ahead and make sure that they have this tool on hand at the hospital/clinic, and tell the nurse that you want it as she is putting out the tools for the doctor.

Painfully Shy you aren't being a baby at all. Im not a virgin. I have had a little girl with no painkillers down below and im still scared to go to my first smear.

Im meant to have it next week. Probably a good idea to be honest. Im bleeding when it's not my period for the last couple of weeks and having sharp pains so doc recommend I have it done.

Sorry that was probably too much info lol

Star kid makes a good point it's definitely worth asking about

Good luck with it hun

I have only had one smear test, and never went back for another one. It's not so much the pain, but also the indignity of being exposed and manhandled (or womanhandled) by a perfect stranger. My private parts are my private parts.

Smear tests are not compulsory. You do not HAVE to have them. I just ignore all the reminder letters they keep sending me. It's each person's personal decision whether or not they want to be screened for diseases they may not even have.

If I had symptoms of cervical cancer, of course I would get a test, but I don't have any symptoms, so I refuse to give into all this scaremongering telling us that we ought to get tested for this and that and the other JUST IN CASE we might already have it. It's got so bad that many women are now cutting of their breasts JUST IN CASE they ever get breast cancer!

My vet wanted me to castrate my dog JUST IN CASE he ever got testicular cancer, too. I say no to all this mutilation. I am not in favour of cutting off perfectly healthy and necessary body parts due to fear, nor do I want strangers delving into my vagina and attacking my poor cervix JUST IN CASE it might have something wrong with it. If and when the cancer ever comes, I'll deal with it then.

My mum has lost one breast to cancer and my sister is now in treatment for breast cancer too. So of course they have said I should go for mammograms, but I am not about to go and stick my boob into some painful machine unless I actually have cancer. Ironically they say that stress may cause (or contribute to) cancer. Well, they are the ones stressing people out by saying: "you might have this. You might have that. Get tested for this. You might die of that." Then when they do the pap smears they often get the results mixed up anyway - the NHS is notorious for telling healthy people they have cancer and cancerous people they are fine. So what's the point of being screened if you cannot trust what the results say?

When I went for an eye test, the optician wanted to perform some painful test on me that's now being offered to everyone to screen for something-or-other disease of the eye. When I said no, they tried to pressure me and make me worry, by telling me what a serious disease it was and how important it was to catch it early.

I hate pap smears and didn't get one for over a decade and a half until I had obvious signs of cervical cancer. For me they are pretty awful. Besides being embarrassing they hurt and make me bleed. I'm not a virgin but I haven't had sex since 1995.

I even declined my last pelvic exam I was supposed to get because it was at the external radiation place so they aren't even gynecologists and the last time they gave me one there they made me bleed a lot and it burned when I went to the bathroom the rest of the day.

My surgeon who did my hysterectomy isn't too bad at doing them. He gets in and out pretty fast and has a gentle touch. Maybe it's from having a lot of experience examining sensitive post-op patients. Maybe he realizes I need a smaller speculum. I don't know what size they use and I'm too embarrassed to ask.

I worry about my next exam since I'm supposed to be using dilators because I had radiation and I haven't been using them. I am very averse to penetration.

I think I'll try it here in the safety of my home first and see how that goes...I'm hoping I'll be able concentrate. Thanks for the advice!

The good thing is that the doctor I am going to be seeing is well aware that I am not active, and I guess she more or less alluded to the fact that she has 'the right size' for me in her office. There's a plus; a doctor who realizes not one speculum fits all women!

Oooh, yeah, you really should go in and get checked out for that. That's one that I know *isn't* supposed to happen, so it's good that you're going. Better to be safe than sorry; and mine is scheduled for the 15th...at least I've got time to mentally try and prepare myself, but I don't know if it'll work when I'm there, lol. My Mother thinks I should as we have cancers of the uterus and ovaries in my family. I'm okay with the pelvic exam part (the lone finger), but the speculum terrifies me.

I do agree with you there; the prospect of being exposed isn't very appealing either. The good thing is that I have a doctor that I am very familiar with as a friend. I've never personally seen her as a patient, but I know her outside of her practice. She isn't one for unnecessary testing or pill-pushing, and she wouldn't press-gang me into something if I said no or if she thought I didn't need to have it done. I haven't had a physical in a VERY long time...I can't even remember what year it was...high school? That means it's been about 10 years or more. A pelvic exam at least would be an extremely wise idea for me.

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You are absolutely right: I can refuse this test, but the odd thing is I keep hearing my Mother's voice in my head reminding me of something that my future doctor had told her. A while ago, my Mother had a scare with one of her breasts: she told the doctor there was no history of breast cancer in the family. The doctor said five very distinct words, "It has to start somewhere"...for all I know, *I* could be the start of cervical cancer in my family line without knowing it. Although I am absolutely, 100% against the idea of laying in that position with something I do not want inside of me, I think the experience will be somewhat less stressful due to the fact that I know my doctor is very good at what she does. If I say, "that hurts" or "please stop" she'll do it. Granted, I need to probably explain my sensory issues to her: I think I told her I had Asperger's, but I honestly can't remember, so I'll need to tell her again anyway.

^ I was not trying to imply that you (or anyone else) should forgo the exam if you want to have it. Like I said, it's each person's personal decision whether or not they want to be screened for diseases they may not even have. If it puts your mind at rest to have it done, of course you should do it.

She will stop temporarily to let you take a break and brace yourself for her to continue, yes. But she will then carry on. Unless you absolutely can't take the pain, and sit up and shout: "please stop! I've changed my mind. I can't go through with this any longer," then after giving you a break, she will have to go back to doing whatever she was doing before that was causing you pain.That's what doctors have to do. They have to get the job done.

If you absolutely can't take it, you can always ask them to stop and walk out. Once I was having a camera stuck up my nose to examine my larynx with no anaesthetic. I just absolutely could not take it any more. I asked them to stop and left.

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They certainly aren't supposed to hurt or make you bleed: those are two big no noes. Sounds like they really need to use a tiny size or find another method of getting in there to look. They have fancy cameras that are tiny, so I haven't understood why they don't just do that. I had one doctor try to obtain a sample without the speculum, which I thought might work better, but I could feel the instrument for the cell gathering and I arched my pelvis away from her, so that was a no-go and she stopped because I asked her to.

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Oh hun, I am so sorry that's happened to you...why in the hell are they performing a gyn's job if they aren't even gyns? Obviously they don't know what they're doing and are hurting you in the process. Glad you don't see them anymore[/quote].

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I've heard some rather good things about Male Gyns actually...the only thing that would bother me (aside from baring my intimate parts to a man) is the fact that there's another person in the room when all that's going on. I am absolutely terrified that's going to happen with mine...I feel okay being that way in front of my doctor because I know her outside of the office, and we're on very good terms, I love and trust her. It's the stranger in the room that I wouldn't be comfortable with that all, even if she had her back turned. I know we'd all be women, but I don't want my privates on display like a model in health class. The other three doctors I've seen for this were all female, and not once was there a nurse present, so I am hoping that will be the case here. I think I'll ask my doctor and see what we can work out regarding that.



I looked up what those are...they didn't sound very comfortable, and they visually look terrifying, so I can more than understand why you just say no to those. I think that is a huge part of my problem: I don't like the idea of being penetrated, especially with the duck bills (speculum). A finger is one thing; it's *usually* small enough to where it doesn't bother me at all. But the duck bills are meant to make you open in a literal sense, and that is beyond nerve-wracking. I'll have to have a serious talk with my doctor about my sensory down there...I seem to have a terrible time with it and I think she really needs to be aware.

I know this woman though; not just as a doctor, but also as a friend, so if I'm telling her she's hurting me, I know she won't keep going unless I give her permission to. I don't believe I'll need to shout at her for it, she is very gentle and patient, and she knows that I don't have much room to spare. I do need to explain my sensitivity issues to her though, just so that she is aware of where I stand on that front. She isn't a mind-reader; if I don't say something before this thing starts she'll have no clue. I am sorry you've had such horrible experiences...that should never have happened to you. Doctors these days (with very few exceptions) are more interested in getting their paycheck half the time instead of tending their patients like they should be. That's a damn shame because it makes it difficult to find one to trust, one who'll listen and understand you as an individual patient with individual needs, not as a bloody number. What happened to you wasn't right, and I am more than happy you were able to say 'screw you' to them before leaving. I think more people need a backbone at the doctor's office.

I don't want to scare you because there are other things that could cause this but bleeding between periods was my only symptom when I had cervical cancer. I waited quite a while to see a doctor about it though, at least several months.

Ok, but does she really know "the right size"? I've had an exam performed on me with the adult "virgin" speculum, and it was still too big and painful.

I have never seen her before as a patient, so I really have no clue. The appointment needs to be cancelled for the time being, which saves me...for now...but when I go in to see her officially for the first time I will be more than happy to tell her that I am small...very small. I remember one of the gyns I saw a few years back didn't attempt to dive right in, but instead used her hands to physically inspect just how much room I had to offer. She was very gentle about it, and stopped when I told her she was hurting stating that I really was too tight for anything to be attempted with the almighty 'duck bills' of doom.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...what happens then when I am married to someone? Is it going to be sheer agony? I am sorry for the digress, but I am trying to think on a larger scale about it. I won't lie, that's got me scared.