How 2 see the difference between Friendliness and Deception?

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I am really kind of upset right now. A classmate has always been very nice to me just upset me very much, to the point I wonder if they were genuinely friendly, or just manipulative?

How can you tell the difference between people who are trying to be nice, and people who are trying to use you?

Sorry your classmate has been cruel to you. This reflects on him and not you.

But your question is compelling and probably unanswerable. Really the only way you can know a person is through experience. The longer you interact together the more trustworthy you become to each other. I know I sometimes trust too quickly, and then I get hurt.

Another possible way would be to discreetly ask someone you do know and trust (maybe someone older). Explain that you're not sure how to 'read' <insert name> and ask for their insight, like a personal reference.

That bold part.
You cannot tell if a person is being friendly to be friendly, OR to be manipulative. Nobody can.
That's how Conmen work. (Confidence-tricksers)
Not until their actions "speak" a few times. Remember the saying: Actions speak louder than words?

But you can't live your life not trusting anyone. It's just too hideous.
You'll have to trust and be burnt, trust and be right, trust and be burnt, over and over in your life.
The times your trust is right is what makes trusting & burning worth it. Everyone has to go through this.

Just trust small at first so the damage isn't too great until you can see their actions are usually in your good interest.
Remember also: Everyone will break your "trust" at one point or another. Because no one is perfect.
This is where forgiveness comes to play - if most of the time they have your interest at heart - forgive them on the rare occasions when they "break trust." Everyone has a right to be selfish and/or ret*d sometimes.

It's like a measuring scale, if most often and/or most "value" add up to to one or the other you'll know. Don't burn a bridge over one or two trust breakers, but don't leave a bridge for a high-repeat/high-damage offender to cross over and attack you.

Listen to 140lb on this one. You will just have to trust people and experience these things you have done in order to learn and develop "a feel" as it were for who to trust and who not to trust. As well as that, always make sure you are not left vulnerable when investing your trust.

But yes, don't just by default trust no one and project the bad experiences others have given you onto others. Someone who acts the same way as your cruel classmate might actually turn out to be a good person. And one mistake doesn't mean they can't be trusted. Everyone's only human. You're bound to equally make mistakes of your own and wish people were there to understand or forgive you when you do, so be prepared to offer the same forgiveness.

Without knowing precisely what happened, I would hesitate to pronounce upon whether the friend is a true friend or not. But I will say this, which may or may not be a relevant consideration in your case:

AS people tend to take a very 'all or nothing' (and sometimes over-intense) view of friendships, with the result that anything the friend does that could be perceived as negative toward the presumed friendship can be taken as a severe shock and as deeply personally wounding by the AS person, and can even cause them to re-evaluate the entire friendship.

I'm not saying this is what's happened, but it's worth bearing in mind. Sometimes small things like a mildly cruel personal remark can trigger it off, when the NT partner had no intention of hurting you (NTs often make over-personal remarks once they assume they have acquired a mutual degree of personal intimacy).

But I don't know you, your friend, or what happened, so I would not like to say more.

As for being deceived, well, maybe, if that's in fact the case here, but in general you shouldn't feel bad about having been taken in. That's the whole point of deceptive behaviour in the first place.

Sometimes, even a good friend just has a bad day. A lot of people are also quite conflicted inside, feeling pressured to always be nice, and then suddenly letting off steam over some minor trigger. They identify with the good side, and may blame the devil for the damage they do. Deliberate con men are quite delightful when working. They find reasons to praise you and never disagree or object to anything you do. If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.