Aspie Friend with a Compulsive Liar Boyfriend
I don't see any way that you can get her to see sense. She's too tightly under the spell of her boyfriend. She will have to be made to feel pain.
She's not going to listen to you or anyone.
Pick up the pieces when she sees sense, but otherwise stay in the background. It's her life and her mindset that she must alter.
I agree with Tequilla's comment OP. I know I can be very forceful at times myself, but sometimes you have to let things happen.
Sometimes an Aspie has to learn on their own. It will be painful, but the point of enduring through such pain is called "live and learn."
_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
She's not going to listen to you or anyone.
Pick up the pieces when she sees sense, but otherwise stay in the background. It's her life and her mindset that she must alter.
Just like in an NT situation.
Sometimes an Aspie has to learn on their own. It will be painful, but the point of enduring through such pain is called "live and learn."
I have a tendency to be "Mama Bear," even with my spouse, and try to save anyone what I sometimes view as "undue pain." But, I guess everyone needs pain to grow.
I have stopped speaking to her boyfriend; but, she already knows I will be there for her if she needs it. Until the other shoe drops.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Tequilla does have a point but it doesn't mean that you cant get her to see reality. As I'm sure you know us Aspies can be pretty logical so it may help to explain everything you know about him & all the little details about how you know. Unfortunately thou us Aspies can also be extremely loyal to a fault & can also get pretty emotional about it. Perhaps you could play an emotional angle; for example talk about the times you seen Tom mistreat her & how she acted & got upset when it happened. She may have a bad meltdown & shut you off but things may start sinking in after her meltdown passes.
She is very lucky to have a caring friend like you
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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