Having patience

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Today I went down into the kitchen to try to tell my mom some things I had learned about MK ultra. Now, I do a lot of talking about “conspiracy theories”. I’ve known something was wrong with this place since I was a little kid. My mom has got Rachel Ray on in the background and I’m talking to her. Telling her about how I don’t believe that the Nazis lost WWII, they just had to move. She’s not looking at me while I’m talking, she’s looking at some coupons. So, I’m standing there blabbing my mouth already knowing before I started talking that she’s not gong to acknowledge anything I say (really). She might say something like, “Hmmm” or make a weird face. But she didn’t inquire about anything. Didn’t ask me questions or anything. It’s apparent she does not give a s**t and does not believe me. I do a lot of talking about this sort of stuff and I’m pretty sure my whole (immediate) family thinks I’m crazy or that I’m just making up excuses to hate the way the world is. It pisses me off so much. I’m trying to be more understanding. They do not have the same view I have because they have not been treated like a freak the way that I have. They have no real immediate (until they actually ship us off to camps or kick us out of the house that we “own”) reason to question anything about the way they live or the rules they follow. So anyway, after I am done wasting my breath my mom starts going on about how she complained to the popcorn company that there were worms in the popcorn bag. So, they sent her some coupons and now she can get six lbs of (probably msg, aspartame packed) free popcorn. The entire time she’s talking about it I’m just thinking to myself, “I don’t give a f**k. I don’t give a f**k.” Then she says, “Isn’t that cool? If you write to a company complaining they’ll send you free stuff. And sometimes if you call them to tell them that you really liked a product they’ll send you free stuff too.” But none of that food is good for you at all. I’m really trying to work on my patience. All I said was, “Cool”, in my monotone voice. Then I went back up into my room to be alone and now I'm watching more MK Ultra videos.

Kind of sounds like you and your mother are in the same boat when it comes to listening to stuff that the other one is interested in. She isn't interested in your stuff, you aren't interested in her coupon thing, it evens out. Don't talk to her about that stuff, she won't care. The upside of that is if you don't try to talk to her about your stuff, you don't have to fake interest in her stuff. Again, it evens out that way.

Been there, done that, have had pretty much that exact experience with several people. That, and looking up from a monologue to see their eyes rolling up in their heads in boredom. Got in trouble at work once because I posted a hand-drawn cartoon on the hallway bulletin board in a radio station about the Bilderbergers, as though I had put up a caricature of Mohammed in a mosque or something.

I will tell you though, that getting too immersed in that stuff over too long a period only lends itself to states of high anxiety and depression. At the end of the day, there's nothing you can do about it and nobody is ever going to listen because it scares them to think the people they trust to lead them might be lying to them about EVERYTHING. They know their politicians are lying c*cks*ckers, but they just won't let themselves think about it, because admitting it might make them feel responsible for doing something about it and that's just too much to wrap their heads around.

So it's easier and less scary to believe that it can't really be happening because "who could hide such a massive conspiracy"? (truth: you don't have to hide it, if you can convince people it's too crazy to be real, their brains will just filter it out automatically)

Anyway, make sure you put the MK-Ultra videos down from time to time and get out in the sunshine. Real or not, it's just mentally unhealthy to focus on that stuff too much. It sucks all the joy out of living.

Thank you Willard.

I've found that attempting to talk to most folks about this subject matter is like talking to a brick wall. To many, it is just too big and scary to even deal with, so they block it out. Others are so caught up in the illusions painted by the "manipulators", that they refuse to admit to themselves that they have bought into a lie. Feel people out, if they are receptive, then proceed to talk more about it. Don't waste your time on non-receptive people.

As time goes on the truth of our F'd up world will spread and eventually, those who we're previously blocking reality out will come around. Then maybe some day we all can figure out how to peacefully reconstruct the structures of power in this world.

Here's a few links you may or may not know about.
If you are interested in related material.
http://www.redicecreations.com/
http://www.veritasradio.com/
http://www.whatonearthishappening.com/

And in the world of "conspiracy", I'd steer away from Alex Jones. He's just a drama queen whose business model is to pump up fear so that he can sell survival supplies.

“Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible. But in the end, they always fall. Always.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

If you say you're into conspiracy theories then do you actually believe them?

Anywho, I'm down with Zeitgeist: the movie and stuff. But when you look at things like Watergate and Bay of Pigs that history admits actually happened then there arises the possibility that more things like that are going on. But who do you really believe because everyone has an agenda?

I was into conspiracy theories myself but I look at each one very carefully now. I'm in contact with the Occupy organizer in my area and some things posted on social networking sites are just biased and used to incite anger. I don't do well when people get into hysterics over very short articles that barely explain anything.

But back to your original post, I think if you can't allow yourself to listen to someone then why should they listen to you? If someone came up at me with a bunch of conspiracy theories like what you just said, you know what I'd do? Argue. People aren't always going to agree with you especially about this. My whole family used to shut me down about my left-wing rhetoric. It's like being religious and non-religious. Each person has a completely different view of the world and it's impossible to get them to agree on the same points.

Anyway, if you're familiar with the book The Shallows and Lee Seigel's Against the Machine we could have some good conversations. People treat me like I'm an escaped mental patient when I bring that stuff up.

Anyway, on patience, which I'm phenomenally bad at...thanks to ADHD and mood disorders...I think feigning interest and then just getting on your way. If you want someone to listen to you you've got to be fair. Conversations are about give and take, and usually flattery.

Once I let my sister basically tell me something very insulting to my own beliefs, and then I said ok, I'm going to bed and I don't actually believe you. I had put up with quite enough and my reply was a bit harsh but eh, I'm a proud person who needs people to be aware of how I feel about things. But I didn't blow up, I just disagreed, in serious tone.